All Goals Are Not Created Equal

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

The Art of Powerful Goal Setting

Why does it go wrong so often? Why do people set goals that they fail to bring to fruition? Or, even more interesting: Why do people continue to express a feeling of lack even after they complete or achieve goals? Well, truth be told not all goals are created equal. There is actually a skillfulness behind setting goals that go the distance. Mindlessly setting and even effectively achieving goals in and of itself will not be enough to derive the outcomes we hope to achieve when we originally set them. Rather, it is in the skillfulness of creating goals that not only have extrinsic value (i.e. fame, fortune, power, and love) but most importantly intrinsic; identifying goals that are consistent with who we are, what lights us up, and coming from a place of choice.

Bottomline, when we exert effort pursuing goals that are close to our heart, we lock in with more conviction to see them through. Thus, a greater likelihood to attain a goal as well as enjoy the journey of its pursuit and complete satisfaction of it’s attainment while securing  sustainment and quiet possibly further accomplishment. Why because these goals coordinate with our true selves, self-concordant goals infuse our life with purpose and simply said make us happier.

There are 3 basic conditions to powerful goal setting, I refer to them as the 3 A’s…

  1. Affection – goals that you are passionate about, doing things you like to do, that serve a bigger purpose. For example, getting fit and healthy not just to lose weight and inches  but to provide more energy so you can keep up with your kids or manage health risks. 
  2. Authenticity – engaging in goals that are aligned with how you see yourself, your personality, and what’s most important to you. Not Susie down the block or your mom’s take on things or for that matter the latest social media feed.
  3. Autonomy – pursuing goals out of our own personal conviction, coming from a place of choice and freedom.

But of course applying the 3 A’s isn’t that simply, thus where in resides the crux of the problem and why so many of us find ourselves on the proverbial hamster wheel of life. Setting out with the best of intentions to develop self-concordant goals won’t be enough, we need to first get clear on our true authentic self, learn or rediscover what we are passion about, and identify the aspects of our lives that currently hold the most meaning to us. A great place to start is with my complimentary workbook, Discover Your Internal Compass. I created it for this very reason, bringing together many tools and explorations I’ve used over the years to help women secure and lean into powerful goal setting…download it today for free on my website.

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

Top 10 Hit List

Top 10 Hit List

Life Changing Habits

Seventy-six newsletters later I’m thinking it’s time for a top 10 hit list of those suggestions most celebrated and proven when practiced to make a significant impact on clients lives. Though clearly what works for one person won’t work for all, this month I’m taking my 77th newsletter to highlight those insights I’ve shared over the years standing the test of time and reported to be game changers in MOST peoples lives.

Ten Habits That Will Dramatically Change Your Life For The Better

1. Live Life Authentically
Express yourself-style and your gifts-in all that you do. Operating from a place of greatest authenticity, frees us up, allowing us not to be so focused on being something or someone else we are not. Better enabling us to put our energy into more effective and productive actions that enhance the way we show up in life.

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People                                                                                                                                   Align yourself with people who inspire, motivate, and support. Positive relationships nurture and influence us to greatness simply because they allow us to be at our very best.                                                                                                                                

3. Pick Three Things to Do Each Day
Staying on top of our personal and professional lives can be overwhelming. Pick 3 things to do each day and get to those three things first, and then wherever the rest of the day takes you, you know at least you’re progressing and accomplishing what you need to.

4. Unplug From Your Phone/Computer
Unplugging from the digital world is a great way to reduce the stress that being “on” can bring into our lives. Keeping up with email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. 24/7 is simply not good for our brains, resulting in overstimulation that takes away from our levels of productivity and presence within our relationships. Developing new protocols to lessen, “unplug” from time to time should be apart of everyone’s daily routine.

5. Maintain A Balance Approach To Life
I call it the ripple effect. When we attend to all valued aspects of our lives it makes each aspect of our lives better. When I go to the gym, have a great “date” with my husband, participate in a community event, or just read a good book all by myself, the following day I’m all that more productive and engaged at work. Then when at work and finding a great groove it empowers me to be a better coach, parent, wife, colleague, sister, friend, and daughter. It’s not so much the amount of time one commits to the varied valued aspects of their lives but more importantly that they do.

6. Cultivate a Mastery Mindset
A mastery mindset is the desire to continually develop into the best we can be. It is an approach to life that embraces constant self-expansion with the understanding that setbacks and disappoint do not define our realities but rather are the building blocks from where our greater success comes from. As it is through life’s trials and tribulations where we gain valuable knowledge about what we need to attend to in order to acquire what it is we want in and for our lives. Consider yourself, your life a work in progress. Strive for mastery, not perfection. Simply ask yourself each day what can you do to support a better version of yourself than the day before.

7. Practice Gratitude
Consider the possibility that your life is already filled with overflowing abundance and start seeking evidence to support this. Research shows that those who practice gratitude daily by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. It’s a great way to shift the focus off the negative and help drown out the cynical mindset that holds us back from experiencing greater happiness in our lives (see below for more on that).

8. Reframe Negative Self-Talk & Thoughts
Our thoughts can make or break our success and well-being. Deliberate, positive self-talk is the fastest and most effective way to replace the negative “mind chatter” that holds us back. The practice of reframing our negative self-talk into more constructive and optimistic perspectives and language enables us to better move on from situations where we may feel stuck, confused, frustrated, and or angered. Though in the beginning reframing may feel as if you’re faking it, research proves, in time this consistent interruption and change of thought patterns will generate more proactive responses and actually begin to retrain your brain to embrace positivity.

9. Take Care of Your Body
A strong body makes for a strong mind. When our bodies are functioning optimally, we have the physical energy to work, play, study, and think. In other words, we have the energy to do the things that bring us success, in however we measure that. This not only includes the obvious like sleep, nutrition, and exercise but attending to doctor/dental appts, rest & relaxation, use of supplements, drugs, and alcohol as well as stress management. The more proactive we are about taking care of our physical self, the more energy will be present where and when it needs to be in use…which is pretty much always even when we are sleeping.

10. Deprioritize Whatever Doesn’t Honor Your Goals                                                                                                                Learn to say no. If you want to achieve your goals, becoming more selective in how you allocate your time will be a must. Ask yourself how much of what you’re doing in your day promotes your objectives. Say no to anything that is not in alignment with what you want in and for your life.

So here’s my suggestion, since experts say it takes up to 21 days for a new habit to form, pick one of the above-suggested habits each month for the rest of the year (coincidentally there are 10 months left to this year) and by years end you too will experience for yourself the dramatic impact these empowering habits will have on your life.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Who Are You Being?

Who Are You Being?

Part II

Living Life Authentically

February 2017 Insights

Since February is the month we are reminded most of our relationships with the holiday of Valentines day being celebrated, I thought I’d take this perfect opportunity to expand on last month’s post “Living Life Authentically” and explore more about who we are and how we show up within the different roles (relationships) we play. Whether it be within our relationships with our peers, romantic partners, colleagues, children, even ourselves, being authentic sometimes gets lost in the shuffle. With so many ideals shared through social media and limiting beliefs we’ve taken on through the years, being something we are not or presenting ourselves in a way that isn’t true to ourselves can leave us feeling rather drained and unsatisfied within our relationships. (more…)

Living Life Authentically

Living Life Authentically

Keep It Real

 January 2017 Insights

We each have our own unique way of learning, playing, living, and being. Greater success and happiness can only come when we are clear about who we are and what we value. Living our lives according to other people’s purpose is futile if we are truly seeking satisfaction and fulfillment within our own lives. The first step to accessing a thriving life is understanding what enhances the way YOU show up! (more…)