All Goals Are Not Created Equal

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

by | May 1, 2019 | Blog

The Art of Powerful Goal Setting

Why does it go wrong so often? Why do people set goals that they fail to bring to fruition? Or, even more interesting: Why do people continue to express a feeling of lack even after they complete or achieve goals? Well, truth be told not all goals are created equal. There is actually a skillfulness behind setting goals that go the distance. Mindlessly setting and even effectively achieving goals in and of itself will not be enough to derive the outcomes we hope to achieve when we originally set them. Rather, it is in the skillfulness of creating goals that not only have extrinsic value (i.e. fame, fortune, power, and love) but most importantly intrinsic; identifying goals that are consistent with who we are, what lights us up, and coming from a place of choice.

Bottomline, when we exert effort pursuing goals that are close to our heart, we lock in with more conviction to see them through. Thus, a greater likelihood to attain a goal as well as enjoy the journey of its pursuit and complete satisfaction of it’s attainment while securing  sustainment and quiet possibly further accomplishment. Why because these goals coordinate with our true selves, self-concordant goals infuse our life with purpose and simply said make us happier.

There are 3 basic conditions to powerful goal setting, I refer to them as the 3 A’s…

  1. Affection – goals that you are passionate about, doing things you like to do, that serve a bigger purpose. For example, getting fit and healthy not just to lose weight and inches  but to provide more energy so you can keep up with your kids or manage health risks. 
  2. Authenticity – engaging in goals that are aligned with how you see yourself, your personality, and what’s most important to you. Not Susie down the block or your mom’s take on things or for that matter the latest social media feed.
  3. Autonomy – pursuing goals out of our own personal conviction, coming from a place of choice and freedom.

But of course applying the 3 A’s isn’t that simply, thus where in resides the crux of the problem and why so many of us find ourselves on the proverbial hamster wheel of life. Setting out with the best of intentions to develop self-concordant goals won’t be enough, we need to first get clear on our true authentic self, learn or rediscover what we are passion about, and identify the aspects of our lives that currently hold the most meaning to us. A great place to start is with my complimentary workbook, Discover Your Internal Compass. I created it for this very reason, bringing together many tools and explorations I’ve used over the years to help women secure and lean into powerful goal setting…download it today for free on my website.

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

Top 10 Hit List

Top 10 Hit List

by | Mar 1, 2019 | Blog

Life Changing Habits

Seventy-six newsletters later I’m thinking it’s time for a top 10 hit list of those suggestions most celebrated and proven when practiced to make a significant impact on clients lives. Though clearly what works for one person won’t work for all, this month I’m taking my 77th newsletter to highlight those insights I’ve shared over the years standing the test of time and reported to be game changers in MOST peoples lives.

Ten Habits That Will Dramatically Change Your Life For The Better

1. Live Life Authentically
Express yourself-style and your gifts-in all that you do. Operating from a place of greatest authenticity, frees us up, allowing us not to be so focused on being something or someone else we are not. Better enabling us to put our energy into more effective and productive actions that enhance the way we show up in life.

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People                                                                                                                                   Align yourself with people who inspire, motivate, and support. Positive relationships nurture and influence us to greatness simply because they allow us to be at our very best.                                                                                                                                

3. Pick Three Things to Do Each Day
Staying on top of our personal and professional lives can be overwhelming. Pick 3 things to do each day and get to those three things first, and then wherever the rest of the day takes you, you know at least you’re progressing and accomplishing what you need to.

4. Unplug From Your Phone/Computer
Unplugging from the digital world is a great way to reduce the stress that being “on” can bring into our lives. Keeping up with email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. 24/7 is simply not good for our brains, resulting in overstimulation that takes away from our levels of productivity and presence within our relationships. Developing new protocols to lessen, “unplug” from time to time should be apart of everyone’s daily routine.

5. Maintain A Balance Approach To Life
I call it the ripple effect. When we attend to all valued aspects of our lives it makes each aspect of our lives better. When I go to the gym, have a great “date” with my husband, participate in a community event, or just read a good book all by myself, the following day I’m all that more productive and engaged at work. Then when at work and finding a great groove it empowers me to be a better coach, parent, wife, colleague, sister, friend, and daughter. It’s not so much the amount of time one commits to the varied valued aspects of their lives but more importantly that they do.

6. Cultivate a Mastery Mindset
A mastery mindset is the desire to continually develop into the best we can be. It is an approach to life that embraces constant self-expansion with the understanding that setbacks and disappoint do not define our realities but rather are the building blocks from where our greater success comes from. As it is through life’s trials and tribulations where we gain valuable knowledge about what we need to attend to in order to acquire what it is we want in and for our lives. Consider yourself, your life a work in progress. Strive for mastery, not perfection. Simply ask yourself each day what can you do to support a better version of yourself than the day before.

7. Practice Gratitude
Consider the possibility that your life is already filled with overflowing abundance and start seeking evidence to support this. Research shows that those who practice gratitude daily by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. It’s a great way to shift the focus off the negative and help drown out the cynical mindset that holds us back from experiencing greater happiness in our lives (see below for more on that).

8. Reframe Negative Self-Talk & Thoughts
Our thoughts can make or break our success and well-being. Deliberate, positive self-talk is the fastest and most effective way to replace the negative “mind chatter” that holds us back. The practice of reframing our negative self-talk into more constructive and optimistic perspectives and language enables us to better move on from situations where we may feel stuck, confused, frustrated, and or angered. Though in the beginning reframing may feel as if you’re faking it, research proves, in time this consistent interruption and change of thought patterns will generate more proactive responses and actually begin to retrain your brain to embrace positivity.

9. Take Care of Your Body
A strong body makes for a strong mind. When our bodies are functioning optimally, we have the physical energy to work, play, study, and think. In other words, we have the energy to do the things that bring us success, in however we measure that. This not only includes the obvious like sleep, nutrition, and exercise but attending to doctor/dental appts, rest & relaxation, use of supplements, drugs, and alcohol as well as stress management. The more proactive we are about taking care of our physical self, the more energy will be present where and when it needs to be in use…which is pretty much always even when we are sleeping.

10. Deprioritize Whatever Doesn’t Honor Your Goals                                                                                                                Learn to say no. If you want to achieve your goals, becoming more selective in how you allocate your time will be a must. Ask yourself how much of what you’re doing in your day promotes your objectives. Say no to anything that is not in alignment with what you want in and for your life.

So here’s my suggestion, since experts say it takes up to 21 days for a new habit to form, pick one of the above-suggested habits each month for the rest of the year (coincidentally there are 10 months left to this year) and by years end you too will experience for yourself the dramatic impact these empowering habits will have on your life.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Making Big Strides With Small Steps

Making Big Strides With Small Steps

by | Feb 2, 2019 | Blog

Change is a Process…Not an Event

The advent of the new year has come and gone and understandably for many, the allure of creating positive change within our lives begins to wane. Suddenly, the drive to seek more success and fulfillment in our careers, relationships, health, and well-being begins to diminish. Of course, we still want more for ourselves, personally and professionally, it’s just that the effort is hard to sustain, life gets in the way, and results don’t typically occur quick enough, all of which detracts from the once renewed sense of energy we had back in January.  But hears the good news, that is ok because change is a process and not an event. Having the things we want in and for our lives will not happen overnight, research proves it is within the small, subtle (not sizable or drastic) tweaks we make gradually that will add up to the big changes we seek. So don’t give up on those new year resolutions yet, slow and steady actually does win the race. Read on and learn how to make big strides with 4 small steps.

Four Small Steps That Have a Big Impact

 1.   Build On Existing Habits- Add a new beneficial behavior to an existing habit. For example, change your daily walk with your dog to a jog. Use the time carpooling your kids as an opportunity to connect. Add a fruit or vegetable with every meal and snack. Combine your daily mid-afternoon coffee break with calls or brief meet-ups with your team. The point being is to ease the creation of a desired new behavior by coupling it with an existing relatable habit.

2. Create Most Optimal Surroundings– Create a greater likelihood of success with supportive surroundings. So for example, if you want to eat healthier, stock your shelves with nutritious foods, not cookies or chips. Set out your gym clothes the night before so you’re ready to go for your workout tomorrow, put your cell phone in the draw while having dinner with your family or finishing up an important work-related project. In other words, set up your environment to promote what you want. 

3. Anticipate Obstacles– Whether it’s a sudden circumstance that interferes with our well-intended plans to align with our goals (i.e illness, technology challenges, weather conditions, etc.) or the reality that we are only human and naturally our conviction will be tested. Anticipate obstacles and prepare for them with if-then strategies. So for example, if the going gets tough with work aspirations then connect with a mentor or other colleagues that can be of support or inspiration and create accountability. If you know you have a series of commitments that will challenge healthy eating or regular workouts then eat a nutritious, filling snack before heading out or travel with a jump rope should you be out of town or stuck indoors due to inclement weather. Know life can get in the way and plan accordingly.

4. Act. Learn. Build. Repeat.- The key to success is seeing change as a curious experiment and then taking a bunch of small actions steps to point yourself in the direction you want to go. Follow this formula and results are inevitable. 

Do not underestimate the power of taking small steps, not only does its cumulative effects provide tangible markers of success but the cost of failure is comparatively low.  So there’s less on the line to lose allowing us to feel more confident and at ease with implementing change into our lives. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

by | Jan 1, 2019 | Blog

Maximize Your Success This Year

There’s no denying that with a new year comes fresh opportunities and a renewed sense of energy to attain the things we want in and for our lives. But simply setting vague, lofty goals won’t be enough. In last month’s newsletter, we were able to get a jump start on thinking through those goals we want to focus on this coming year by doing the suggested self-designed wheel exercise shared in December’s post. Now, this month it’s time to create the structure we need to actually achieve those goals. One of the best ways to manage and track our progress is with the SMART process, a well-known coaching tool used to break down goals into manageable action steps providing the clarity and direction needed for goal setting while simultaneously enhancing accountability and lessening feelings of overwhelm.

As you can see the word SMART is used as an acronym:

S – Specific What specifically do you want? Or what exactly is the first step/action you need to take?

M – Measurable What is the quality or quantity you want?

A – Achievable Is this goal possible or step/action possible?

R – Reasonable Will you do this? How reasonable is it that you will do this?

T – Time By when will you reach this goal (entire goal) or complete the first step (not the entire goal)?

Each letter in the acronym helps guide goal setting in a certain way. So for example, let’s say I want to use the SMART process for a professional goal to obtain more clients. Gaining more clients is a good starting point but is much too vague. How many new clients do I want to gain? How will I gain them? When will I gain them by? How will I measure my success? And most importantly are the action steps realistic and reasonable? These are all questions that need to be answered…

Gain more clients for my business by providing free monthly webinars. Now, this is better, but I still need a way to measure how many clients I am gaining through these free webinars. So I determine a form of measurement. Gain 3 clients every quarter for my business by providing free monthly webinars. This is a good SMART goal. Not only does it outline a specific objective, but it also defines how I will achieve that objective while giving me a timeline and several milestones to track my progress. Additionally, I know I have the materials and technology as well as time to put monthly webinars into place so it is an achievable and reasonable goal.

Here’s another example using the SMART process but this time with a personal goal to lose weight for someone let’s say who is approximately 20lbs overweight.

Lose weight by exercising a minimum of three times a week and join Weight Watchers. Again a great start as now they have clarity and direction with actions steps in place but now it’s important to manage and track progress. By exercising three times a week and following the Weight Watchers plan a minimum of 2lbs a week will be lost. This is not only achievable but reasonable as stated this person has excess body weight and it is assumed she can commit to this plan.

Maximize your chances for success this year, follow the two-step process provided in both last and this month’s post, not only will you determine those goals that will support the outcomes you are looking to see happen in 2019 but the roadmap to getting you there.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

 

 

Jumpstart Your New Year

Jumpstart Your New Year

by | Dec 2, 2018 | Blog

Your 2019 Priorities

Wow, it’s hard to believe another year is almost in the books! Time to do some reflecting and planning. I know everyone is likely crazy busy with holiday prep and festivities. But that’s all the more reason to find some downtime to grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine, set yourself up in a  comfortable environment where you will feel relaxed and focused to do this month’s suggested activity. It is a twist on a coaching tool shared in past newsletters and found on my website under Valuable Downloads, called the Wheel of Life. But this time rather then rate your level of satisfaction in each of the provided aspects on the wheel, I want you to now draw your own wheel, divide it up into 6 even pie-like slices and determine those areas YOU want to focus on for the next year (see image attached).

Some examples might be: finances, romantic relationship, renovating/organizing a house, writing a book, health and exercise, career, paying it forward, family, creativity, fun/enjoyment, etc. Then from there write 5 measurable and obtainable goals you can accomplish under each category. So for example, under creativity one might write: take an art class from a local university. Or for paying it forward: volunteer at local animal shelter or maybe donate clothing no longer worn. You get the picture, just be specific and make sure you can see results at the end of the year.

This exercise was recently introduced to me through a colleague. He came across it in a book called Reboot Your Life: Energize Your Career and Life by Taking a Break. The book goes on to suggest selecting one goal from each category that is most important for you to accomplish and start first with those. I love this activity mostly because it can really help create the change we want in our lives and bring it back to harmony and balance by providing a focus on our priorities (not others) while serving as a great reference tool to keep us accountable. Keep in mind it’s not about attaining everything in our circle but more about honoring what it is we want to see happen in and for our lives in the next coming year and then having that down in black and white. This way we not only have a jumpstart to the new year but a plan to boot with actionable steps in place!

Best of Success & HappyHolidays!

-Holly-