How To Discover What You Really Need

How To Discover What You Really Need

Time To Take A Step Back 

Well, here we are, in the grip of the holiday season. And as you wander round the store, blinded by glitter and lights…

And tick off the endless list of decorating the house, gift wrapping, writing cards and juggling family, it’s no shocker if you’re feeling more than a little —

TIRED.

Tired of the hustle…

Tired of the pressure to do everything, be everything: Matriarch of your family. Superwoman to your friends. CEO of your life… 

Well, if that resonates, let me tell you: you’re not alone. 

I think we can all agree that the events of the last few years—pandemic, healthcare, remote social relationships (not to mention the recession) have left us tired, frayed and fractured. 

And here’s the honest truth…

I don’t know any woman right now, who’s where she thought she’d be. Any woman who hit her business goals (or personal ones for that matter!)

Yep. It’s been a tough year for most of us. But while money goals are important, the truth is they’re also secondary…

Secondary to true wellness, happiness, and having a multi-dimensional, holistic approach to your life. 

And that’s where the Wheel of Life comes in…

Now, the Wheel of Life is a renowned and respected coaching tool, in part because it’s so valuable, simple and doable. 

It will help you:  

>> Reflect on where to start—so you have a baseline when setting goals

 >> Identify what’s important to you in life (and likewise, what’s not)

>> Pinpoint what’s sapping your energy. What you should pay attention to—and what you can let go of.

Ready to get started? << DOWNLOAD YOUR WHEEL OF LIFE HERE >>

So, how does it work?

Well, it takes 8 key aspects of your life—from finances to family and friends—and asks you to rate them on a level of satisfaction from 1-10.

Then, when you connect the dots, you have a clear (if bumpy!) picture of where your gaps are, what you’ve left on the back burner, and what may be less important to you.

And this is crucial, because as we know, life never runs smoothly—and neither does the Wheel of Life. (In fact if your wheel is a perfect, wide circle of ‘10’ under each category, I’d suggest you may not be being entirely honest with yourself…)

Now, when you have your wheel I’d urge you to take a step back and consider:

  • Which areas need your attention?
  • How have your priorities shifted? 
  • What dynamic could be limiting you, even if it seems less important?

Because the first step is to discover what you need—before you can make it happen.     

<< DOWNLOAD YOUR WHEEL OF LIFE HERE >>

Rooting for you,

XO

Holly

P.S. If you’d like to take this one step further and unpack your results with me, all details of how we can work together are right here. Nothing would make me happier than to put you back on the path to true wellness. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Instant Clarity

Instant Clarity

The Secret…Knowing Your Core Values 

Wow. Maybe it’s me, but every year it seems no sooner have we put the cap on the sunblock, we’re closing the door on the last trick or treater… 

And before we know it, our attention turns to Thanksgiving, holidays and the endless whirlwind of present buying, baking and entertaining. *Phew.

Yup. In this crazy run up to the holidays, it can be SO easy to fall prey to the needs of other people—and neglect all those areas that have the biggest impact in your life. 

Meaning? 

By the time your in-laws are round, and drinks are flowing, you can feel as burned out as that bird in the oven!

So, the question is—how can we stay sane, productive, and successful, even when our attention is pulled in a million-and-one directions? 

The secret lies in setting our values.  

Now, a Values Assessment is something I use with ALL my clients—and something I encourage them to come back to, at least annually. 

And the run up to the new coming year is the perfect time for this, because it forces us to turn our attention to ourselves, and lays the groundwork for January’s inevitable desire to set goals and start afresh. 

Why should I define my core values? What makes this so important?

Core values are the principles we choose to live by—those highly personal points of reference that emotionally affect and inspire us to take action. Here are the 3 main reasons to define your core values: 

1. Shifting Priorities

Here’s the deal. When you do get super clear on what’s MOST important to you, you’ll develop an actionable, meaningful ‘to-do’ list that aligns with your core values.

And this is particularly important in midlife. Because so much of our lives have shifted, and altered—it’s easy to realize, what once was important is really immaterial (or at least, might need some tweaking!)

For example, if you asked me five years ago what my core values were, I would’ve said ‘accomplishment’ and ‘productivity.’ But not any more… 

Truth be told, I’ve replaced accomplishments with growth. Because for me, life isn’t so much about achieving anymore, it’s about growing into a better version of myself.

Let’s look at some other examples…  

For you, knowledge might be extremely important. So setting aside time to study, for private reading, and being involved in programs will become part of your weekly schedule.

If health and wellbeing is your priority, it makes sense that you’ll eat right, exercise well, and get the sleep you need to thrive with optimum energy and vitality. 

In short, all these things allow us to help organize and prioritize our time—but first we must discover which values are right for us.

2. Making Decisions

So often in life we find ourselves torn when making decisions. We agonize over the ‘right’ course of action to take, big or small. And when you throw stress and overwhelm into the mix, finding a resolution can become convoluted, and unnecessarily painful.

Because the truth is, us women? We can do a number on ourselves! We can allow self-doubt to creep in, and don’t trust ourselves enough… 

But we do know our values. 

And when we line up our decisions with what we want to do, and how we want to show up—well, that’s when we discover what’s truly important. 

I once had a client who lived a very corporate lifestyle. To keep herself aligned, she laminated her core values, and kept them with her at all times. And when she’d go to meetings, or have difficult client calls, she’d check in with them. 

Why? It helped her clarify how she wanted to show up, and the right way for her to move forward.  

3. Kickstarting Your Why

Now, I could’ve said ‘motivation’ here… But I’ve said it before, motivation is something we cultivate, not something that just happens. 

And if you wait for it, you’ll be waiting forever! 

If we’re honest, I think a lot of us are confused. We’re living by other people’s standards, or agendas—and we never really take stock in what’s most important to us. 

But when you articulate your why, now that will REALLY light a fire under your goals and objectives…

How Do I Complete The Values Assessment

Creating a list of values is personal work, and it’s work just for you.

The first thing to know is, this isn’t a quick exercise. (And my list of values has gotten longer over the years, as clients have added to it!)

But, as you’ll see it is an important, life changing one. 

First, download and print out your Values Assessment here. 

Then, find a quiet space to work uninterrupted, and take time for the following:

  1. Take a pencil and cross off everything that doesn’t resonate with you.
  2. Circle the values that do resonate. 
  3. Take these words and create up to five subgroups. Work intuitively.
  4. You will find within each group there are words that nail it for you, that encompass that subgroup. These are your core values. 

So, How Do I Apply This To My Life?

The true benefit in the Values Assessment comes from applying it to your life, and this can be challenging. Many women come to me and just cannot see a correlation between their goals and their values… 

So that’s why, if you show me that you’ve completed the assessment, I’ll offer a free complimentary 30 minute breakdown of your results—where I tie each value down to your goals, and what you REALLY want from this next phase of life. 

Ready? I can’t wait to see what it uncovers for you!

Rooting for you,

XO 

Holly  

P.S. Missed the link above? No sweat: download your free Values Assessment here

And remember, once you’ve completed it, please contact me for a free complimentary 30 minute breakdown of your results.

 

 

Your New BFF

Your New BFF

Dear Future Me…

Want to boost your mood, improve your outlook on life, pinpoint where your greatest efforts might be served, and create some accountability along the way. Imagine your future self! Picture yourself, thriving and living a full, happy life. Researchers call this your BPS-Best Possible Self and study after study say it packs a powerful punch.

Personally, I’m a big fan of this exercise. For so many of us in midlife who question what’s next and where to go from here, it’s a simple yet highly informative way to start fleshing out a new path leading the way into the second half of our lives.

Getting To Know Your Future Self

  1. Carve out undistracted time – find a place where you’ll have limited to no interruptions.
  2. Select a time in your future – anywhere between one year from now to no more than five.
  3. Spend a few moments visualizing your best future self, consider your –
    Personal Life including your interests, hobbies, health preferences, and any accomplishments you’d like to go            after. Professional Success this includes your career and job, what brings you a sense of purpose, any educational pursuits, your income bracket, and what you’d like for your retirement. Social Life your romantic or dating life, the friends you seek and keep, your relationship with your family, and any regular social activities.
  4. Describe your future self at that time – imagine you’ve invested the time and energy to actualize your best self. What does your life look like? What are you doing personally, professionally, and socially? How do you feel? Think? Experience Life?

Note: It’s important to remember that the purpose of this exercise is not to visualize  your greatest fantasy, but rather your best possible, attainable future.

From this identity you can then start to take action. Asking yourself what would my future best self do right now in this moment. This way of thinking can help you restructure your priorities and serve as a roadmap. So that when you wake up first thing in the morning and throughout your day your BPS can now be your BFF encouraging you to align with those actions that you know support your end game.

With the new year around the corner, this is a perfect exercise to take advantage of so you can hit the ground running in 2022!

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Maximize Your Success This Year

There’s no denying that with a new year comes fresh opportunities and a renewed sense of energy to attain the things we want in and for our lives. But simply setting vague, lofty goals won’t be enough. In last month’s newsletter, we were able to get a jump start on thinking through those goals we want to focus on this coming year by doing the suggested self-designed wheel exercise shared in December’s post. Now, this month it’s time to create the structure we need to actually achieve those goals. One of the best ways to manage and track our progress is with the SMART process, a well-known coaching tool used to break down goals into manageable action steps providing the clarity and direction needed for goal setting while simultaneously enhancing accountability and lessening feelings of overwhelm.

As you can see the word SMART is used as an acronym:

S – Specific What specifically do you want? Or what exactly is the first step/action you need to take?

M – Measurable What is the quality or quantity you want?

A – Achievable Is this goal possible or step/action possible?

R – Reasonable Will you do this? How reasonable is it that you will do this?

T – Time By when will you reach this goal (entire goal) or complete the first step (not the entire goal)?

Each letter in the acronym helps guide goal setting in a certain way. So for example, let’s say I want to use the SMART process for a professional goal to obtain more clients. Gaining more clients is a good starting point but is much too vague. How many new clients do I want to gain? How will I gain them? When will I gain them by? How will I measure my success? And most importantly are the action steps realistic and reasonable? These are all questions that need to be answered…

Gain more clients for my business by providing free monthly webinars. Now, this is better, but I still need a way to measure how many clients I am gaining through these free webinars. So I determine a form of measurement. Gain 3 clients every quarter for my business by providing free monthly webinars. This is a good SMART goal. Not only does it outline a specific objective, but it also defines how I will achieve that objective while giving me a timeline and several milestones to track my progress. Additionally, I know I have the materials and technology as well as time to put monthly webinars into place so it is an achievable and reasonable goal.

Here’s another example using the SMART process but this time with a personal goal to lose weight for someone let’s say who is approximately 20lbs overweight.

Lose weight by exercising a minimum of three times a week and join Weight Watchers. Again a great start as now they have clarity and direction with actions steps in place but now it’s important to manage and track progress. By exercising three times a week and following the Weight Watchers plan a minimum of 2lbs a week will be lost. This is not only achievable but reasonable as stated this person has excess body weight and it is assumed she can commit to this plan.

Maximize your chances for success this year, follow the two-step process provided in both last and this month’s post, not only will you determine those goals that will support the outcomes you are looking to see happen in 2019 but the roadmap to getting you there.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

 

 

Jumpstart Your New Year

Jumpstart Your New Year

Your 2019 Priorities

Wow, it’s hard to believe another year is almost in the books! Time to do some reflecting and planning. I know everyone is likely crazy busy with holiday prep and festivities. But that’s all the more reason to find some downtime to grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine, set yourself up in a  comfortable environment where you will feel relaxed and focused to do this month’s suggested activity. It is a twist on a coaching tool shared in past newsletters and found on my website under Valuable Downloads, called the Wheel of Life. But this time rather then rate your level of satisfaction in each of the provided aspects on the wheel, I want you to now draw your own wheel, divide it up into 6 even pie-like slices and determine those areas YOU want to focus on for the next year (see image attached).

Some examples might be: finances, romantic relationship, renovating/organizing a house, writing a book, health and exercise, career, paying it forward, family, creativity, fun/enjoyment, etc. Then from there write 5 measurable and obtainable goals you can accomplish under each category. So for example, under creativity one might write: take an art class from a local university. Or for paying it forward: volunteer at local animal shelter or maybe donate clothing no longer worn. You get the picture, just be specific and make sure you can see results at the end of the year.

This exercise was recently introduced to me through a colleague. He came across it in a book called Reboot Your Life: Energize Your Career and Life by Taking a Break. The book goes on to suggest selecting one goal from each category that is most important for you to accomplish and start first with those. I love this activity mostly because it can really help create the change we want in our lives and bring it back to harmony and balance by providing a focus on our priorities (not others) while serving as a great reference tool to keep us accountable. Keep in mind it’s not about attaining everything in our circle but more about honoring what it is we want to see happen in and for our lives in the next coming year and then having that down in black and white. This way we not only have a jumpstart to the new year but a plan to boot with actionable steps in place!

Best of Success & HappyHolidays!

-Holly-