Happiness Is More Than Just A Feeling

Happiness Is More Than Just A Feeling

by | Nov 1, 2021 | Blog

Be Obsessively Grateful

Crazy, hard to believe 2021 is almost coming to a close. Just about a year ago we were all so thrilled to say goodbye to 2020, now we’re just 2 months shy of welcoming in 2022. Now, I know the majority of this world is operating under some serious heavy energy but there is no better time than November, the month most noted for the expression of gratitude, to remind ourselves that often times “happiness” is more than just a feeling but rather a choice.

Hands down, if I had to pick only one most impactful mindset tool out there, it would be undoubtedly the daily practice of gratitude. It is the most powerful and simple way to squash negativity dead in its tracks.

Bottomline, the mind cannot focus on two things at once, by taking some time to relish in the good we can literally cancel out the bad.  Feelings of gratitude directly activate brain regions associated with the neurotransmitter, dopamine, and there is a ton of research proving how gratitude can work as an anti-depressant and send signals of safety and hope to our brains. 

So powerful yet so simple. 

Here’s another great way to expand on the practice of gratitude. This one I came across while reading the book,  Learned Hopefulness by Dan Tomasulo and has become a favorite part of my daily routine.

There’s a lot of really fascinating research around the concepts behind “hope” and benefits it has for cultivating greater positive emotions. Truth is we are all hard wired toward a negativity bias, I’ve written on this before (revisit here). Typically, if we are asked to look back on our previous day’s activity, we tend to view it in a very matter of fact way and likely hone in on what we didn’t accomplish or what didn’t go well.

Dan Tomasulo suggests to do the opposite, to literally list everything we can remember about our days activities but this time through the lens of gratitude. Taking two separate pieces of paper where we first just list out all we can recall. Trying not to leave anything off, from taking out the garbage to conversations we had throughout the day, and then using that list as a reference to now write about the same time period finding the good.

This small adjustment, tweak in perception is enough to activate different parts of our brain that were masked by the negativity bias, finding hidden gems altering our perception and opening us up to more positivity.

Honestly, it’s a game changer!

But one small caveat, as with any gratitude practice this is not a one hit wonder, the negativity bias is deeply ingrained in all of us, practicing gratitude is something we need to keep front and center.

 Just try out this exercise for one week and I assure you’ll feel the difference!

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fake It Till We Make It??

Fake It Till We Make It??

by | Oct 1, 2020 | Blog

The Science Behind “Acting As If”

Not to be confused with being disingenuous or sweeping our feelings under the rug…the popular expression “Fake It Till You Make” can actually be a valuable coping tool when the going gets tough. As hard as this is to believe, there is plenty of science proving we can actually trick ourselves into becoming more successful, increase our happiness, and become more confident. Researchers have found that “acting” a certain way allows our brains to “rehearse” a new way of thinking and can set off a favorable chain of events. So the next time you find yourself second guessing taking on that demanding work assignment, nervous about initiating a social gathering, unenthused about your evening plans, or simply feeling gloomy and uninspired, check out these go to practices to manage the challenge at hand.

 

  1.  Smile– Literally say CHEEESEE, force a smile. Evidence suggests your face, sends signals to your brain, informing it that you are experiencing a particular emotion and leading you to believe it. Smiling can trick the body into helping you elevate your mood because the physical act of smiling actually activates neural messaging in your brain. A simple smile can trigger the release of neural communication boosting neuropeptides as well as mood-boosting neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. It’s hard to argue with the expression…when you smile the whole wold smiles with you- smiling is contagious, starting a friendship, dissolving arguments, and spreading positivity.  

2. Strike a powerful pose– When we are feeling powerless, ineffective or unsure of ourselves, we tend to make our bodies as small as possible. We hunch our shoulders, cross our legs, bow our heads and use self-protective gestures. Conversely, when we feel powerful and dominant, our bodies tend to adopt an expansive pose. We spread our arms, sit or stand straight and widen the position of our arms and legs.   

Well known Harvard Business School social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, shared her findings  how adopting a powerful posture can affect our body chemistry. In her study, she had subjects adopt either a power stance—with their chest and head lifted and arms propped on their hips—or a meeker pose—hunched over with their arms crossed—for two minutes. The people who maintained power poses showed a decrease in the stress hormone cortisol and an increase in testosterone, a hormone related to dominance and confidence. These changes in hormone levels appear to positively influence a person’s behaviors – increasing confidence and performance in situations that are stressful or uncomfortable. 

Making power posing an integral part of our preparation for the important events of our life may actually help us achieve more. When we feel confident and powerful, we are more able to express ourselves and influence others. Using power posing may just give us that little extra edge we need. 

3. Act as if-Want to be more confident, optimistic, sociable, calm, healthy or fit,…act as if. When we act as if, we put into place those practices that support desirable states of being. It is through this practice, repetition of action steps, that then allows us to become more of what we want to be. So start aligning, spring into action-circulate at work events, dance at a party, feed your body as healthy person feeds herself, dress the part, embody calm and act confidently. Just start doing it! The more we rehearse something the better we will become at it and then the more natural it will feel.

 As anyone who knows me well will tell you, I’d never advocate being inauthentic or phony, nor lye to others about our competencies. “Acting As If” only works when we correctly identify something within ourselves that’s holding us back. It is both a mindset and action oriented tool assisting us in creating more of what we want in and for our lives, not meant to be a substitute for obtaining the knowledge and support we need to become a better version of ourselves.  

Wishing You Alway The Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

 

Let’s Start Kicking Some Corona Virus Ass

Let’s Start Kicking Some Corona Virus Ass

by | Apr 2, 2020 | Blog

We’re In This Together!

Ok ladies, we are well into this “Corona Virus Pause”, by now most of us have fully transitioned into our new remote living reality. This ain’t no joke, we gotta pull out the big guns and dig deep to start impressing the hell out of ourselves. Pretty much everything that organized our days has changed. There’s already too much out of our control but the truth is it’s not going to last forever. It’s time to start reinventing the wheel. I see we have two choices here- step into our greater power or throw in the towel. How awesome would it be to take this crazy Corona pandemic and use it to our advantage- learning more about ourselves becoming stronger and more resilient then ever? 

Honoring that everyone processes things differently and what serves each person best will vary, I’m taking this month’s blog post to inspire some positive action just to get going on figuring out how we can support ourselves in ways that fuel us, rather than drain, by suggesting taking daily positive action from the below 4 different aspects of our life to earn a minimum of 10 points per day. Here’s the thing though, you must gather at least 2 points in each area. To bring about sustainable wellbeing we need to build our overall resilience by attending to our whole self; body, mind, heart, and spirit. Although focusing on any one of these variables singularly will make a difference, attending to all 4 you will thrive.

“Corona Virus Pause” Challenge

Earn a minimum of 10pts per day with at least 2pts earned from each category

Relationships
Examples: connect with family & friends via phone, facetime, zoom (get creative host a zoom cocktail hour/book club), spend quality time with those living in your home (game/movie night, manicures with daughter, walks with son, etc), date night with significant other (even if that has to be virtually), participate in live interactive webinars, write a letter/send a card to someone near and dear to you, contribute to your community (donate to organizations in need, buy gift certificates from local business’ websites), surprise someone you lost touch with with a “how are you doing text”, etc.

Health
Examples: practice social distancing, exercise in any shape or form (it’s just about moving your body), eat nourishing food (no cookies & crap for one full day), stay hydrated (with water!), take vitamins/supplements, attend to any chronic or temporary illnesses/injuries, encourage a good night sleep,  etc…

Self-Care/Fun & Enjoyment
Examples: journaling, reading fiction for fun, watch a funny show, take a bath, dance, give yourself a manicure/facial, listen to your favorite podcast, meditate, play with your pet, go for a walk/drive alone should you need some space, set new boundaries with kids/spouse so you can have uninterrupted work time, go to bed without your phone, etc..

Personal DevelopmentExamples: knock off any work related project/tasks from your to do list, listen to educational podcasts, participate in on-line educational webinars, learn a new skill, read books/articles that enrich your knowledge & wellbeing, clean out your inbox, organize your space etc…

For those who may feel 10 points may be a lot to aim for, realize you can knock off two points in one action, like taking a walk alone qualifies for both a health point and self care or going with your spouse or child would be relationship building as well as health. Try to be creative, definitely time to start thinking out of the box. Also you’ll be surprised how once you just do one proactive action it improves your mood and then desire to do more. This challenge is not meant to be stressful, that’s the last thing I want to create for anyone. If you’re experiencing something very difficult right now, a recent loss, sick, need more time to process this significant disruption in our lives maybe this is something you can return to when the time is right. This blog post comes from a place of love & support, simply just some food for thought and hopefully inspiration.

We may be down but we are not out! Yes, we are going to have our good days and bad days, hell that might be reduced to hours and there will be moments you’ll see the best of yourself as well as the worst but remember this, there WILL be a vaccine. This WILL end. There are challenges ahead but humans are resilient and positivity is contagious too!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-