Midlife Game Changing Habits

Midlife Game Changing Habits

Top Five Strategies You Need To Know 

‘Holly, do you have any big strategies to navigate midlife? 

‘Y’know, the surefire, game-changing, non-negotiables that mean you’re always so on point?’

Whoa. Now, there’s a question…

And it’s probably the one I’m asked most — on the pickleball court, out to dinner with friends, by clients and colleagues…

First — let’s get one thing straight, I am most definitely NOT ‘so on point…’ (!)

Hey, I may be a Midlife Transition Coach, but I worry about my turkey neck as much as the next woman! I’m struggling to sleep through the night. Trying to figure out how to empty nest… gracefully.

I too, question those goals I held for SO long, that sometimes feel flat and uninspiring… 

Sure! We’re a boat load wiser. But if you find yourself wandering into the bedroom, forgetting why you’re there — and instead your thoughts turn to:

>> Who the heck am I?

>> What’s next?

>> And how the hell do I begin to figure all this out?

Then you need…

The Top 5 Strategies To Thrive In Midlife Right Now 

Yeah, that’s right: these are the non-negotiable, instrumental habits you need to adhere to IMMEDIATELY…

No joke.

Because ladies, I believe — no, I know — these habits are SO powerful, you’ll finally find your groove…  and forge your path towards a fuller, happier, more meaningful life. 

(And hey, it’s what you’ve been asking for!)

Because honestly? Let’s just not age gracefully. Let’s age powerfully…

And dive right in!

  1. Keep Your Attitude in Check
    Even I find myself slipping into silly comments like: ’… well, I am an old lady.’ But, the more we indulge in that language, the more we give it mileage — the harder we’re making it for ourselves to switch gear and age optimally. 

Energy attracts like energy.

The truth is, we’re living longer fuller lives than ever before. There are inspiring women out there absolutely killing it in midlife, knocking it outta the park! So, instead of  indulging in negative language, flip the script to stories of strong, vibrant, engaging older women…

And surround yourself with as much knowledge and education to live your life more powerfully.

Check out this podcast: Radically Reframing Aging, and hear Maria Shriver discuss how we can all live our healthiest, most joyful lives as we grow older.

  1. Embrace The Now
    (Or, in short — if not now, when?)

If there’s one thing the pandemic taught us, it’s not to hang around. I’ve worked with so many women who have had the rug pulled out from under them — diagnosed suddenly with breast cancer, diabetes, or their husbands get sick…

You might remember last year my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s brutal. And I don’t know how long it’s gonna last…

But I can’t live in a state of inertia thinking ‘once she has full time help’ or ‘once she’s in assisted living, well, then I can focus on xyz.’ I can’t wait, and I can’t put things off. I have to honor the fact it’s all consuming, accept it, yet still move forward.

If we don’t start rockin’ and rolling now, then when will we?

  1. Treat Life As An Experiment
    It’s easy to get stuck in a rut — what we eat, how we exercise, even the makeup we use! (Am I right?) But our bodies have changed, our metabolism’s not so fired up, and chances are what worked in our 20s or 30s just ain’t gonna cut it. 

It’s time to shake things up…

You have GOT to have an experimental mindset.

For example, I just don’t have the stamina that I used to. Honestly, the sh*t I could get done in a day… I’d whizz my daughter to dance class, get to the shops, see clients. Now? I just want to chill a little bit.

So, I’ve switched up my day. I do deep work in the morning. And at 3, 4pm, I honor my need to rest. I’ll take the dogs for a walk, meditate, connect with a friend for coffee. And maybe then when I’ve done those things to nourish my soul — I’ll see an evening client.

Try some new things on for size –experiment– not every action you take will be a home run but wisdom gained revealing what feels right, purposeful and fulfilling to you.

  1. Rewire Your Inner Dialogue
    Let’s cut to the chase here. You’ve already spent half your life beating yourself up, telling yourself you aren’t enough. Do you really wanna be 80 — and still judging yourself? 

Or, looking back on your life wishing you’d been more present with your children, partner… but you were just too damn wrapped up and consumed by your own thoughts?

Y’know, I’m just so done with it…

Ladies, it’s time to let go of those old stories holding you back. Next time you hear that inner critic tell you you’re ‘less than’ say to yourself: ‘I’ve got this. I’m committed to my growth.’ Or ‘I’m discovering day-by-day what my goals and priorities are.’

… And shut down that negative talk in its tracks.

  1. Cultivate Connection
    Most research will say, the number 1 predictor of happiness is the quality of our social relationships. Take this from an introvert! (Or rather a social introvert — I love people, but can handle them better in smaller groups…) 😉

But, that being said…

Here, we’re talking positive relationships. The ones that inspire, support, and challenge us. A diverse network — whether that’s seeing your best friend for lunch, or clicking with a virtual Mastermind group. Connecting with your sister, or a work colleague living overseas…

These things keep us sharp, our wellbeing intact. They light us up.

Because the truth is, the struggle is real. Midlife is tough. There’s no denying it. But I know with my whole being, that if you can adapt your habits and mindset to embrace these changes — you will reap the difference in your life…

And glide into the next phase, with power, purpose and meaning. On your terms. 

XO

Holly

P.S. Tell me, what are your top strategies for dealing with the chaos of midlife? Which older women truly inspire you? Comment below (or drop me an email) I’d absolutely love to know! 

Seeing Is Believing

Seeing Is Believing

Powerful Benefits Of Vision Boarding 

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking “vision board”, really?! Or at least that’s what I thought when I was asked to do one in a most recent self-development coaching program I participated in a few weeks ago. Yep, the coach gets coached…always trying to walk the talk. But when the facilitator suggested doing a vision board, boy oh boy did I have resistance. I thought to myself, she’s got to be kidding me, how do you ask people in the middle of a pandemic, having no certainty as to what the future will bring, to do a vision board? Yet, in the spirit of embracing my willingness to take this crazy time of our lives and leverage it for the good, I pushed through and began my quest in collecting words, images, and photos that embodied a vision that has now stoked a fire within me, crystallizing goals and direction that has me excited even during these unsettling times.

Visioning as a whole is a well revered coaching strategy used to assist clients in actualizing their hopes, dreams, and desires. According to research, brain imagery works because neurons in our brains transmit information and interpret imagery as equivalent to a real-life action. When we visualize an act, the brain generates an impulse that creates a new neural pathway – clusters of cells in our brain that work together to create memories or learned behaviors – that primes our body to act in a way consistent to what we imagined. All of this occurs without actually performing the physical activity, yet it achieves a similar result. And then there is the law of attraction, stating that by seeing in your minds eye what it is you want in and for your life as well as feel the feelings of having those things, will attract opportunities to you that will then bring those things forward.

Of course visualization does not guarantee our greater success and happiness as that will only come as a result of hard work, practice, and a commitment to align daily with those action steps that support our desired outcomes. But when combined with diligent effort and, I would add, a strong support network, it is a powerful way to achieve positive, behavioral change and create the life you desire.

Besides, now with most of us still having some extra time on our hands, what do we have to lose with taking some time to clarify those future experiences that will bring meaning and fulfillment into our lives. Taking a look at last month’s blog post where I shared the Wheel of Life and Core Values Clarification exercises, think about those aspects of your life you may want to start focusing on more and imagine it is some point in the future (perhaps a year or more) and you are living your ideal life. 

Ask yourself…

1st: How do your days start? Where are you? What are you doing? What is different (or maybe not) about how you ideally begin your days?

2nd: Now moving into your day’s activities, where are you going, what are you doing, and more importantly how do you feel?

If you are working– Describe your work environment. How does your space look? What kind of work are you doing? What skills, strengths, talents are you using? What are you learning? What do you spend most of your time on? What is energizing and fulfilling about your work? How is it different from your current reality? Who are you working with? What are those relationships like?

If you’re not working- Describe how you are spending your days. Where are you? What are the components of your day? What gifts and talents are you using? Who are you encountering? What experiences are you having? What are you learning or exploring? What makes you feel good about yourself and your life?

3rd: As you end the day, describe your routine. How do you wind down? How do you transition from your day activities into the end-of-the day routine? Who are you with? What is pleasant and important? Where do you spend time at the end of the day? What routine or practices have you implemented to ensure this part of your day goes as you wish? What is different about how you end your day compared to your current reality?

4th: Before you retire for the day, look back on the day with gratitude and appreciation. Consider what may you be particularly grateful for? What is filling your life with satisfaction, joy, and ease? Who are the people that are making a positive impact on your life? How are you positively affecting others’ lives? How has the quality of your life improved?

Let these answers inform and inspire you, make yourself a cup of tea or pour yourself a glass of wine and start gathering images and pictures that represent your vision for your life or simply just an area of your life. You’ll need a piece of poster board, scissors, glue/tape, magazines or other sources of words and pictures, possibly markers or any other decorative art supplies. It may be easier to create your vision board over the course of a couple of days where you first collect images you’ll want to include and then settling down to arrange them on the board.

Once you complete the vision board be sure to find a space for it where you can look at it often. It’s from there when we can then start creating goals that not only have extrinsic value (i.e. fame, fortune, power, and love) but most importantly intrinsic; identifying goals that are consistent with who we are, what lights us up, and coming from a place of choice. And studies do support that when we exert effort pursuing goals that are close to our heart, we lock in with more conviction to see them through as well as enjoy the journey of its pursuit and moreover complete satisfaction of its attainment.

Love to see your vision board creations…

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anabolic vs. Catabolic Energy

Anabolic vs. Catabolic Energy

 Energy is Everything!

May 2016 Insights

Everything is composed of energy, including our thoughts! The lenses you see the world through creates your reality. We all enter the world without an opinion or belief about anything. Through our entire lives, influences of the world help form our core beliefs, values, and filters through which we experience the world around us.  As you are presented with situations, you pass them through the filters of your belief system. When they are in alignment, you judge them to be positive and good. When they go against your view, you may judge them to be negative or bad.

Example: In my family, there has always been an emphasis on the value of a strong work ethic. In the past when when I would find myself  not working “full out”, my interpretation of this action would be that I am being lazy. When in fact there could be so many other reasons contributing to my actions (i.e. fatigue, disinterest, overwhelm, self-doubt, etc…)

newsletter_einsteinAs our beliefs and values become established, we function on “auto pilot,” until we begin to experience dissonance and question them. Since many of our beliefs and values are given to us by others, we have the opportunity to evaluate the degree to which they support or hold us back. As a result, we can choose to make adjustments that align our beliefs with our true selves.

If you view the world as an angry place, you will see situations and make interpretations that support your point of view. What you look for, you will find. Also…others with a similar point of view may be drawn to you. So if you notice you are surrounded by drama, explore what is drawing them to you. Where your focus goes, energy flows. This is actually the basis of the Law of Attraction!

Energy attracts like energy and basically in a nutshell there are two different types of energy we can experience, catabolic or anabolic….

Catabolic energy shows up in the form of stress. When we PERCEIVE a situation as being stressful, we may feel fear, doubt, worry, overwhelm, frustration, anger, resentment, or entitlement. When we are experiencing catabolic energy, our focus is on the pain or problem. Catabolic energy isn’t bad…It’s just an indicator of stress that is draining you. If you can get to the root of it, you can release it.

Anabolic energy is not stressful. It is healing, positive, supportive, and expanding in nature. This allows the body to optimize itself. As a result, it’s easier to maintain a solution focus, feel energized, and propel ourselves forward to new possibilities and opportunities.

As we go along our day we are exposed to a string of stimuli that has no meaning other than what our perception assigns it.  How we view a situation will either create stress (catabolic) or not (anabolic). The key is to become aware of the lens (energy) we use, catabolic vs. anabolic, that supports us in order to move forward in the most proactive and opportunistic way possible, driving us to greater success and happiness.

Curious to know how your thoughts are creating your reality?

How great would it be to have the ability to see opportunities when others see problems, and to see what’s right, instead of what’s wrong?

Learn how to consciously recognize when you are reacting to life’s circumstances, even in the most challenging moments, and determine how you want to show up, catabolic or anabolically. Contact me today and discover a method where you can you identify any and all  core beliefs that may be holding you back from what it is you want in and for your life.

 

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly-