Happiness Is More Than Just A Feeling

Happiness Is More Than Just A Feeling

by | Nov 1, 2021 | Blog

Be Obsessively Grateful

Crazy, hard to believe 2021 is almost coming to a close. Just about a year ago we were all so thrilled to say goodbye to 2020, now we’re just 2 months shy of welcoming in 2022. Now, I know the majority of this world is operating under some serious heavy energy but there is no better time than November, the month most noted for the expression of gratitude, to remind ourselves that often times “happiness” is more than just a feeling but rather a choice.

Hands down, if I had to pick only one most impactful mindset tool out there, it would be undoubtedly the daily practice of gratitude. It is the most powerful and simple way to squash negativity dead in its tracks.

Bottomline, the mind cannot focus on two things at once, by taking some time to relish in the good we can literally cancel out the bad.  Feelings of gratitude directly activate brain regions associated with the neurotransmitter, dopamine, and there is a ton of research proving how gratitude can work as an anti-depressant and send signals of safety and hope to our brains. 

So powerful yet so simple. 

Here’s another great way to expand on the practice of gratitude. This one I came across while reading the book,  Learned Hopefulness by Dan Tomasulo and has become a favorite part of my daily routine.

There’s a lot of really fascinating research around the concepts behind “hope” and benefits it has for cultivating greater positive emotions. Truth is we are all hard wired toward a negativity bias, I’ve written on this before (revisit here). Typically, if we are asked to look back on our previous day’s activity, we tend to view it in a very matter of fact way and likely hone in on what we didn’t accomplish or what didn’t go well.

Dan Tomasulo suggests to do the opposite, to literally list everything we can remember about our days activities but this time through the lens of gratitude. Taking two separate pieces of paper where we first just list out all we can recall. Trying not to leave anything off, from taking out the garbage to conversations we had throughout the day, and then using that list as a reference to now write about the same time period finding the good.

This small adjustment, tweak in perception is enough to activate different parts of our brain that were masked by the negativity bias, finding hidden gems altering our perception and opening us up to more positivity.

Honestly, it’s a game changer!

But one small caveat, as with any gratitude practice this is not a one hit wonder, the negativity bias is deeply ingrained in all of us, practicing gratitude is something we need to keep front and center.

 Just try out this exercise for one week and I assure you’ll feel the difference!

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Struggle Is Real

The Struggle Is Real

by | Nov 1, 2020 | Blog

Feeling Depleted? 

Hell yeah! We have been operating under some pretty heavy energy lately. Now, almost 8 months into a global pandemic where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty, we are no longer in an emergency phase but rather living in a chronic state of heightened stress. Of course we’re feeling depleted, much of what grounded us no longer exists, we are grieving multiple loses while still managing the ongoing impact all of this is having on every single aspect of our lives.

So how do we adjust to this ever-changing situation where so many of our systems aren’t working as they normally do, creating radical shifts in our work, school, and home life? Unfortunately, there is no handbook on this one, nothing in history comes close to its impact.  Sure there have been horrific events in history showing how very resilient we humans are but 2020 is an unprecedented disaster. It’s unique, magnified with 24-7  news coverage and intense political division in our country, complicating a unified approach on how to best navigate this unchartered path.

As a women’s leadership coach, naturally I’m asked for advice and suggestions on how to ease the angst we are all experiencing. I wish I had a direct answer but the truth is I’m just figuring it out myself. Of course, there are some sure fire ways to combat worry, lessen anxiety, face our fears but in this instance if I had to specifically hone in on where to focus our attention it would primarily be on our self-care and sincere acceptance of our reality. Rather then putting on a brave face, I think it would serve us all better to embrace how “shaky” we truly are feeling, allowing us to support ourselves in a way that is more constructive instead of exhausting our energy on trying to avoid the uncomfortability that surrounds us right now. While in addition seeking activities, new and old, that fill us up…practicing extreme self-care (sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, gratitude, and connection) and self love & compassion. I believe there is a way to simultaneously attend to our grief while also move forward proactively, gaining a greater appreciation of life and surpassing our capabilities that were present before this crisis hit us all.

My advice…resist the urge to suck it up, the struggle is real! Put YOUR oxygen mask on first so you can go the distance and still be of service to others.

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly- 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happiness Simplified

Happiness Simplified

by | Aug 1, 2020 | Blog

Discover The Four Pillars To Wellbeing

Plan and simple, happiness is not a goal to be achieved rather it comes as a result of engaging in multiple, varied things that are meaningful and bring pleasure as a side-effect. Yet many of us tend to focus on snapshots of isolated parts of our lives and buy into the belief that if we can just find that perfect job, relationship, diet/fitness routine, this thing we call life will be a cinch to live. However, study after studies show that despite people initially experiencing a spike in their levels of wellness after obtaining things like financial prosperity, professional /educational achievements, loving relationships, or improved health-with time inevitably fall back to their original happiness baselines. And in some cases, people can even fall below their baselines feeling more defeated. Understandably, it can be disheartening to discover after working really hard and checking all the boxes to attain all those things believed would guarantee happiness is only fleeting. 

Truth is, safe guarding our level of fulfillment in one aspect of our lives will not secure our happiness nor prevent us from experiencing human highs and lows. To bring about sustainable wellbeing we need to build our overall resilience by attending to our whole self; body, mind, heart, and spirit. Sure, focusing on any one of these variables can make a difference but by attending to all four we will thrive. Moreover, when life throws us a curve ball-which inevitably it will because no one is excuse from life’s trial and tribulations-you will have an abundance of resources to tap into, enabling you to bounce back with greater ease. 

Below you’ll find a brief outline on each of the four pillars to wellbeing, coming this fall I’ll be doing a deeper dive for those interested in learning more about how to thrive rather then just get by. The program is called, Live To Thrive…The Science of Happiness Simplified, it will be a 9 week online, live, interactive course (calls will be recorded, should you be unable to attend) where participants will receive a ton of research based knowledge, tools, and strategies along with personal support to guide them in accessing not only experiencing higher levels of happiness but sustaining it for the long run. 

The 4 Pillars To Wellbeing

  • BODY- Let’s face it, when we are feeling physically strong, we have the best chance of experiencing the energy we need to complete the tasks and goals that are important to us. I start with attending to our body first because typically it is more easily assessed. We can see and feel how vibrant or drained someone is. We can hear it in people’s voices, postures, and faces. We can even measure it with medical devices. But remember we are all built differently, so there isn’t a single formula that works for everyone. What foods are most nourishing for you? What kind of movement works best for your body? How much sleep is optimal for your performance? Are you staying hydrated? Would your body benefit from supplements or vitamins? What, if any chronic or temporary illnesses/injuries do you need to consider in order to best support yourself.
  • MIND- This includes not only expanding our intellect but also training our thoughts to work for us. Attending to our mind is twofold, engaging in learning that is stimulating yet not daunting, enabling a cycle of constant growth. While keeping in mind (no pun intended) that our thoughts will have a way of getting the best of us, interfering with our ability to be present in the moment, wreaking havoc on our confidence, clarity, attention, and focus. Creating daily habits to expand this awareness (i.e  quality learning, meditation, journaling, single-tasking, self-introspection, etc) will clear the way for our minds to function optimally. 
  • SPIRIT- “He who has a why in life can bare almost any how”- Friedrich Nietzsche.Our spirit is what guides us to become fully ourselves and to live a meaningful life. In other words, it’s about connecting what we do and how we do it with who we truly are. What would you like to be remembered for? What drives you? What lights you up? What makes you unique? What things do you most want out of life? How can you share your strengths with the world? We must first accept that we all have this deeper inner side of ourselves and then find time to listen to it. Moreover, honor and then align in accordance with these inner urgings.  
  • Heart- Cultivate an open heart by practicing gratitude for the good things in your life, love and compassion for yourself, connection and kindness toward others. Remembering all feelings are legitimate and finely tuning in and accepting our full range of emotions can be used as tools to help us understand what’s going on for us in any given moment, enabling us to create greater wellbeing. 

Bottomline, we will have a much greater capacity to flourish and grow, to endure life’s challenges and stressors when we attend to our whole selves…Body, Mind, Heart, and Spirit.  

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

 -Holly-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Could You Spare 15 Minutes To Improve Your Life?

Could You Spare 15 Minutes To Improve Your Life?

by | Aug 1, 2019 | Blog

The Value Of Keeping A Journal

Daily journaling — either on paper or a computer screen — has the power to make a real difference in ones life. Writing down your thoughts can be a powerful tool for solving problems, relieving stress and locking in greater success and happiness. Though I know the idea of adding one more thing to your daily routine feels daunting, this is one task everyone owes to themselves to seriously commit to. The benefits are endless, just read on to see why.

Journaling….

  • Accelerates Abilities To Manifest Our Goals-consider building a house without a blueprint. Once words and images hit paper, thoughts or ideas will crystallize. We not only use pen to paper to strategize action steps required to create what we want but it also signals to our brains that this is important becoming forged into our subconscious mind. Your reticular activating system (RAS) then flags relevant opportunities and tools to achieve those goals (NLP Institute of California 2017 study).
  • Enhances Our Emotional Intelligence-emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive and manage our emotions, and that of others.Your journal has the potential to be both a “therapist” and a dear friend who listens without judging or interrupting and is open 24 hours a day. By serving as an outlet to process emotions, writing our thoughts and feelings down allows for a release and greater self-awareness. In turn we become more understanding of the range of emotions humans experience, encouraging us to be more empathetic with others.
  • Sparks Creativity and Inspiration-your journal is a place to write down anything  that comes to mind. The crazier the idea, the better. Let your imagination wander to the farthest parts of your mind. The more you practice experimenting with  possibilities and opportunities, the more inspiration you will find.
  • Solve problems more effectively-typically we problem solve from a left-brained, analytical perspective. But sometimes the answer can only be found by engaging right-brained creativity and intuition. Writing unlocks these other capabilities, and  affords the opportunity for unexpected solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems.
  • Boosts Memory and Comprehension-the composition of thoughts and ideas causes the mind to compose or re-compose these ideas while journaling. In other words, when your hand engages in writing, your brain engages in cognitive recall.  Your learning ability is strengthened and your memory improved.
  • Promotes healing-expressive writing has been linked to improved immune function, lower anxiety and stress levels, and better sleep. Dr. James Pennebaker, author of Writing to Heal explains “when we translate an experience into language we essentially make the experience graspable.” And in doing so, we free ourselves from the web of confusion that so often keeps us emotionally and psychologically bound to any trauma, drama, disappointment, regret, or long-held belief.
  • Supports Self Confidence-journaling about positive experiences allows your brain to relive it. And reaffirms your abilities when the ugly head of self-doubt appears. Keeping a journal becomes a story upon which you can reflect; it is not only a place to dump our inner thoughts and feelings but a catalog of personal achievements,  positive experiences, triumphs over negative experiences, and a testament to how far you’ve come.
  • Stimulates Self Discipline, Productivity, & Accountability-committing to daily journal writing is an act of discipline. Like with everything else, consistency and repetition breeds success. And good habits formed in one area of our lives have a tendency to have a ripple effect on others. Additionally, as we script our journey, we can find accountability and likely heighten our levels of productivity. Knowing that at the end of the day (or beginning) you will be sitting down to reflect on thoughts, desires, and challenges will assuredly serve as a daily reminder and motivator to get busy living life with greater purpose.  

And the benefits of journal writing don’t stop there. For me, I also found that writing in a journal daily has vastly improved my relationships both within my personal and professional life. By writing  down my thoughts and experiences as well as progress towards desired outcomes I simply just have become that much more present and engaged in my life. Discover for yourself the benefits of journal writing, it doesn’t have to be a big orchestrated event, start today jotting down what went well and what didn’t. From there feelings and emotions will be expressed and goals revealed. Love to hear your discoveries!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone

by | Jul 1, 2019 | Blog

The Negativity Bias

Like it or not we all have a negativity bias. You’re not the only one focusing on what can go wrong verses what can go right when presented with a new opportunity. Or fixating on that one bit of critical feedback amongst all the positive received. We’ve all been there before, dwelling on a mishap, argument,  an error we made despite having otherwise a seemingly good day. 

Thanks to our ancestors, we are all hard wired to give greater weight to our negative experiences instead of positive. From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s not all our fault, we inherited the genes that predispose us to give special attention to the negative aspects in our lives. Being highly attuned to worst case scenarios is how, in pre-historic times, humans survived natural threats. But let’s face it, the chances of us running into a saber-tooth tiger on the way home from work nowadays is highly unlikely, the time has come to break free from this limiting human default robbing us of greater happiness and success.

Studies prove we can retrain our brains 

 Here’s how we begin defeating the negativity bias….

1.Awareness- Just by simply being mindful of the degree to which our brain is inclined to focus on the negative aspects of things is the first step. Becoming aware of our negative self-talk and thoughts allows us to separate ourselves from them, to challenge and even eliminate them.

2.  Relish Positive Experiences- Researchers have learned that negative experiences are perceived more easily and quickly into our long term memory. Whereas, the positive require a dozen or more seconds to be held in our awareness before it transferred from short term to long-term memory. Taking the time to relish in those  good things that happened throughout our day reinforces positive patterns in our brain. Our brain then learns from these experiences, building new neural pathways, researchers call neuroplasticity, helping keep our brains attuned to positivity.

3.  Crowd Out Negative Thoughts- Do whatever it takes, have an arsenal of go to practices to drown out the negativity. Here’s just a few I use daily…positive mantras affirmations, and quotes, gratitude journal, mediation, be more selective when I listen to the news, workout (kicks up those endorphins), practice the skill of reframing challenges and negative self-talk, seek a glass is half full mentality, surround myself with positive people, get outside as much as possible, build in simple pleasures throughout my the day like nuzzling with my dog, eating a favorite food, getting a manicure, watching a funny, feel good show that makes me laugh or warms my heart. Of course, it’s going to vary for everyone but the objective here is lessen the pull towards the negativity bias in order to gradually rewire our brains for happiness.

 As they say in the neuropsychology field “neurons that fire together wire together”, each time we consciously decide to take in the good will make a difference and over time these little differences will add up retraining our brains to embrace positivity and overcome the negativity bias.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-