Can you? Or can’t you?

Can you? Or can’t you?

by | Feb 3, 2022 | Blog

Achieving Those Goals

Hey there!

It’s time to raise a belated glass to that elephant in the room… Goal Setting. 

Ewww, I know. Love it or hate it — setting goals is an undeniable step to success. 

Maybe you’re part of the shiny ‘New Year, New Me’ crowd. You’re still hard at the gym. You’re keeping up those dinner dates with girlfriends…

Perhaps, despite the symbolism of fresh starts and new beginnings, you prefer to eaaase yourself into a new year — mug in hand, lounging in the gorgeous cashmere sweater you finally treated yourself to in January’s sales. Bliss…

Or maybe you’re one of the 80% of resolution makers petering out as we now move into the first week of February…

Finding you’re beating yourself up already. (Pah! You know I don’t believe in guilt-trippin’ or shaming. We’re human. I’ve got your back.)

Last month, I talked through the numero uno secret you need to master in order to go the distance this year. The one thing that’s a game-changer for giving back clarity and making sure we’re firing on optimal levels. Missed it? You can read that post here.

This month, I’m going one step further. You’ll be leaning into your own energy. Being gentle with yourself. Learning how to trust — and make your internal dialogue work for you when it comes to goal setting.

So the question is — what are your goals for this year? 

And more importantly — do you think you can achieve them?

Because, truth is, there’s scientifically-validated wisdom in Henry Ford’s quip: ‘whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.’

Or in other words, on a scale of 1–10, what confidence do you have that you’ve got what it takes to make your goals happen this time…

And, well — stick?!

The study of Self-Efficacy (or the Science of Self-Confidence) is SUPER important in this.

It quite simply translates as: the belief that you can achieve what you set out to achieve.

And Albert Bandura — one of the most respected psychologists in the world — is one of its biggest proponents.

Bandura tells us there are 4 primary ways we can build on our own self-efficacy — and finally make our goals stick:

  1. Accomplishments. Specifically, your past successes. When did you last accomplish something that felt difficult — or even impossible? Reminding yourself of big and small wins from the past are HUGE ways to boost your current confidence. 

Create those wins, celebrate them. Build your self-image as someone who succeeds… And bring those past mastery experiences to mind when you’re facing current challenges.

  1. Social Modeling. Seeing someone else achieve the success YOU would like to achieve. Truth is, if they can do it, you can do it! Know that.

(Note: Don’t be envious of their success. Celebrate it!)

  1. Verbal Persuasion/Support. When someone tells you that you can achieve success, listen to them. This could be a coach, or supportive co-worker or friend. 

Better yet, persuade yourself through positive self-talk! Kindly challenge yourself as you would someone near or dear to you. 

  1. Act as if. This is a game-changer (and one I practice time after time). If you want to succeed, act like a successful person! Walk, talk, breathe, and carry yourself as if you’ve already achieved that which you aspire to be. 

You can read more about this in my past post here.

Lean into your energy. Listen to your past successes. Visualize your value: allow yourself to celebrate your wins when setting goals — and get ready to triumph.

Now ladies — strike that power pose and go get ‘em!

XO

Holly

P.S. Before I leave you today, I’d LOVE for you to take a pen and paper and jot down the answers to these 4 questions:

  1. What’s a past success you can celebrate and build on — for future triumph?
  2. Who do you admire — who’s achieved something you’d love to have for yourself? Celebrate them! If they can do it, you can do it.
  3. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? And what supportive words do they share?
  4. When you’re at your best, how do you walk, talk, breathe and hold yourself? 

P.P.S  So, what are your goals for this year? Shoot me an email here. I’d love to know— and cheer you on as you rock them!   

And know that whenever you’re in doubt, that’s what I’m here for…

What’s Your Krptonite?

What’s Your Krptonite?

by | Jul 1, 2021 | Blog

WOOP It Away!

Let’s keep building off of last month’s blog post to address the seemingly common and continued theme I have been hearing from many of my clients regarding a lack of  “omph” or a petering out when it comes to aggressively pursuing their more challenging aspirations.

Unfortunately, many of us are under the impression that we have to feel highly motivated in order to achieve what we want but the truth is motivation is more powerfully derived once we cultivate habits that support it. It’s like a fire that needs to be stoke-motivation, inspiration, resolve, however you want to refer to it as won’t appear out of thin air. We need to create an atmosphere that fuels it. Life is way too distracting and consuming. That is why last month I highlighted the value of knowing and having a strong “why” behind our pursuits as a critical component in keeping a fire under our ass even when the going gets tough. 

Let’s face it, it’s a given that their will be hurdles we will encounter zapping our energy reserves required to make our goals come to fruition. In fact, research proves we can better secure higher levels of motivation and reach our goals if we take a more realistic approach before setting out to attain them. To actually consider all the possible obstacles we may encounter along the way. This way we are not caught off guard and can have a plan in place to work through most challenges and lessen the likelihood of losing our tenacity to push through. 

Gabrielle Oettingen, a leading researcher on motivation refers to this as mentally contrasting, where we examine what about ourselves or our circumstances might specifically prevent us from making our goals come to fruition. Could that be a lack of time, skill, emotional support, or knowledge? What’s your “kryptonite” so to say weakening your motivation level? Maybe it’s distractions due to familial responsibilities, poor sleep, or digital consumption. If so how can you better manage these obstacles more effectively so you can create the greatest likelihood for success.

Using a simple yet powerful four step process, Gabrielle Oettingen, suggest applying a technique called WOOP, it’s an acronym that stands for Wish + Outcome + Obstacle + Plan and works like this:

Step 1– Name your Wish, what you aspire for.

Step 2– Identify how you will benefit from the Outcome of this goal, your “WHY”

Step 3-What about you or your circumstances may create Obstacles in achieving this goal.

Step 4– Write down your if-then Plan to get around any and all obstacles you foresee. 

So for example if you know you’re prone to procrastination and likely inclined to get sucked into a social media rabbit hole, wasting valuable time you can be using towards goal driven tasks, it would make sense to create clear boundaries on its usage or just unplug from your digital devices for a time being. Or possibly, if you find yourself questioning your emotional or intellectual capability in accomplishing what you desire most, then finding support via coaching or mentoring might be the right plan to put into place to help bust through those self-doubting obstacles.

The great thing about the WOOP technique is that it is super practical and can be used for everything and anything, from an interaction with a loved one, optimizing our daily eating and moving, or a presentation/project at work.  It’s where the science of visualization and effective goal setting help us maintain our motivation in the process because we’re not only creating excitement and buy-in but being realistic by considering what may get in the way so we can then make a solid plan to actualize our aspirations. So WOOP away!

 Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

A Secret Elixir

A Secret Elixir

by | Jun 1, 2019 | Blog

Surprising Benefits Of Finding A Hobby

Want a surefire way to improve the quality of your life, relationships, and mood? Get a hobby. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking as if it’s that simple, how could something so frivolous make that much of a difference? The last thing I need is another commitment. Hobbies are for people who lead quiet, relaxed lives, and have extra time. I get it, between the kids, work, staying on top of household responsibilities, the notion of a finding a hobby can sound like a waste of time. But actually, for those people who lead very full and busy lives, it’s all that more important to find a hobby. Think taking up a hobby is an ineffective, senseless, or self-indulgent way to use your time? Read on to discover the amazing benefits a hobby can have on your life.

Why Get A Hobby?

Relieves Stress & Lessens Negative Self-Talk- First and foremost hobbies relieve stress and clear our minds by keeping us engaged in enjoyable and positive tasks. Taking our attention away from the day-to-day challenges and issues we face.

Enhance Social Connections- Hobbies are something that you can frequently enjoy with other people. Whether you join a club, play in a league, or just come across people with similar interests and mindsets. Moreover, when you  take some time to do something enjoyable it lifts our spirits so our current relationships reap the benefits of our improved mood. 

Increase Confidence and Self Esteem- Your hobby is going to challenge you in someway, whether mentally or physically. As you overcome these challenges, your confidence will be boosted. 

Enrich Who We Are– When people ask you what you do in your free time, hobbies prevent you from standing there and scratching your head in puzzlement. Hobbies give us something to talk about, adding layers to our identity. They give us space to view ourselves differently, exposing us to new ideas and different perspectives.

Promotes Productivity- Hobbies prevent burnout allowing us to take time out for ourselves, bringing us renewed energy and excitement. This will carry over to the rest of our activities whether at work or home. And since most hobbies usually require rearranging of our schedules to fit it in the activity, it forces us to manage our time more wisely and productively.

Don’t even know what pastime would make you happy? Best bet is to start by building on your own interests. Think about what you value most, examine your skills and personality, and pay attention to what excites you. Being outdoors, doing something physical or creative with others or alone. What skills would you like to learn, talents you want to develop, or experiences you crave? Brainstorm some ideas and try out a new activity from your list. Lastly, pay attention to how you feel during the experience and give it at least three to four attempts to get over the beginners’ hurdle. You may not find the right fit for you right away, but the upside is along the way you can have a lot of fun trying new things and exploring what’s out there. This summer take some time to check out a hobby or two, with the season’s warmer temperatures and longer daylight hours, along with for most, more liberties in our schedules makes for a perfect time to take some time  enjoying an activity that is not attached to work or other commitments. 

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

by | May 1, 2019 | Blog

The Art of Powerful Goal Setting

Why does it go wrong so often? Why do people set goals that they fail to bring to fruition? Or, even more interesting: Why do people continue to express a feeling of lack even after they complete or achieve goals? Well, truth be told not all goals are created equal. There is actually a skillfulness behind setting goals that go the distance. Mindlessly setting and even effectively achieving goals in and of itself will not be enough to derive the outcomes we hope to achieve when we originally set them. Rather, it is in the skillfulness of creating goals that not only have extrinsic value (i.e. fame, fortune, power, and love) but most importantly intrinsic; identifying goals that are consistent with who we are, what lights us up, and coming from a place of choice.

Bottomline, when we exert effort pursuing goals that are close to our heart, we lock in with more conviction to see them through. Thus, a greater likelihood to attain a goal as well as enjoy the journey of its pursuit and complete satisfaction of it’s attainment while securing  sustainment and quiet possibly further accomplishment. Why because these goals coordinate with our true selves, self-concordant goals infuse our life with purpose and simply said make us happier.

There are 3 basic conditions to powerful goal setting, I refer to them as the 3 A’s…

  1. Affection – goals that you are passionate about, doing things you like to do, that serve a bigger purpose. For example, getting fit and healthy not just to lose weight and inches  but to provide more energy so you can keep up with your kids or manage health risks. 
  2. Authenticity – engaging in goals that are aligned with how you see yourself, your personality, and what’s most important to you. Not Susie down the block or your mom’s take on things or for that matter the latest social media feed.
  3. Autonomy – pursuing goals out of our own personal conviction, coming from a place of choice and freedom.

But of course applying the 3 A’s isn’t that simply, thus where in resides the crux of the problem and why so many of us find ourselves on the proverbial hamster wheel of life. Setting out with the best of intentions to develop self-concordant goals won’t be enough, we need to first get clear on our true authentic self, learn or rediscover what we are passion about, and identify the aspects of our lives that currently hold the most meaning to us. A great place to start is with my complimentary workbook, Discover Your Internal Compass. I created it for this very reason, bringing together many tools and explorations I’ve used over the years to help women secure and lean into powerful goal setting…download it today for free on my website.

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

Top 10 Hit List

Top 10 Hit List

by | Mar 1, 2019 | Blog

Life Changing Habits

Seventy-six newsletters later I’m thinking it’s time for a top 10 hit list of those suggestions most celebrated and proven when practiced to make a significant impact on clients lives. Though clearly what works for one person won’t work for all, this month I’m taking my 77th newsletter to highlight those insights I’ve shared over the years standing the test of time and reported to be game changers in MOST peoples lives.

Ten Habits That Will Dramatically Change Your Life For The Better

1. Live Life Authentically
Express yourself-style and your gifts-in all that you do. Operating from a place of greatest authenticity, frees us up, allowing us not to be so focused on being something or someone else we are not. Better enabling us to put our energy into more effective and productive actions that enhance the way we show up in life.

2. Surround Yourself With Positive People                                                                                                                                   Align yourself with people who inspire, motivate, and support. Positive relationships nurture and influence us to greatness simply because they allow us to be at our very best.                                                                                                                                

3. Pick Three Things to Do Each Day
Staying on top of our personal and professional lives can be overwhelming. Pick 3 things to do each day and get to those three things first, and then wherever the rest of the day takes you, you know at least you’re progressing and accomplishing what you need to.

4. Unplug From Your Phone/Computer
Unplugging from the digital world is a great way to reduce the stress that being “on” can bring into our lives. Keeping up with email, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. 24/7 is simply not good for our brains, resulting in overstimulation that takes away from our levels of productivity and presence within our relationships. Developing new protocols to lessen, “unplug” from time to time should be apart of everyone’s daily routine.

5. Maintain A Balance Approach To Life
I call it the ripple effect. When we attend to all valued aspects of our lives it makes each aspect of our lives better. When I go to the gym, have a great “date” with my husband, participate in a community event, or just read a good book all by myself, the following day I’m all that more productive and engaged at work. Then when at work and finding a great groove it empowers me to be a better coach, parent, wife, colleague, sister, friend, and daughter. It’s not so much the amount of time one commits to the varied valued aspects of their lives but more importantly that they do.

6. Cultivate a Mastery Mindset
A mastery mindset is the desire to continually develop into the best we can be. It is an approach to life that embraces constant self-expansion with the understanding that setbacks and disappoint do not define our realities but rather are the building blocks from where our greater success comes from. As it is through life’s trials and tribulations where we gain valuable knowledge about what we need to attend to in order to acquire what it is we want in and for our lives. Consider yourself, your life a work in progress. Strive for mastery, not perfection. Simply ask yourself each day what can you do to support a better version of yourself than the day before.

7. Practice Gratitude
Consider the possibility that your life is already filled with overflowing abundance and start seeking evidence to support this. Research shows that those who practice gratitude daily by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. It’s a great way to shift the focus off the negative and help drown out the cynical mindset that holds us back from experiencing greater happiness in our lives (see below for more on that).

8. Reframe Negative Self-Talk & Thoughts
Our thoughts can make or break our success and well-being. Deliberate, positive self-talk is the fastest and most effective way to replace the negative “mind chatter” that holds us back. The practice of reframing our negative self-talk into more constructive and optimistic perspectives and language enables us to better move on from situations where we may feel stuck, confused, frustrated, and or angered. Though in the beginning reframing may feel as if you’re faking it, research proves, in time this consistent interruption and change of thought patterns will generate more proactive responses and actually begin to retrain your brain to embrace positivity.

9. Take Care of Your Body
A strong body makes for a strong mind. When our bodies are functioning optimally, we have the physical energy to work, play, study, and think. In other words, we have the energy to do the things that bring us success, in however we measure that. This not only includes the obvious like sleep, nutrition, and exercise but attending to doctor/dental appts, rest & relaxation, use of supplements, drugs, and alcohol as well as stress management. The more proactive we are about taking care of our physical self, the more energy will be present where and when it needs to be in use…which is pretty much always even when we are sleeping.

10. Deprioritize Whatever Doesn’t Honor Your Goals                                                                                                                Learn to say no. If you want to achieve your goals, becoming more selective in how you allocate your time will be a must. Ask yourself how much of what you’re doing in your day promotes your objectives. Say no to anything that is not in alignment with what you want in and for your life.

So here’s my suggestion, since experts say it takes up to 21 days for a new habit to form, pick one of the above-suggested habits each month for the rest of the year (coincidentally there are 10 months left to this year) and by years end you too will experience for yourself the dramatic impact these empowering habits will have on your life.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-