by Holly Boxenhorn | Jul 1, 2019 | Blog
The Negativity Bias
Like it or not we all have a negativity bias. You’re not the only one focusing on what can go wrong verses what can go right when presented with a new opportunity. Or fixating on that one bit of critical feedback amongst all the positive received. We’ve all been there before, dwelling on a mishap, argument, an error we made despite having otherwise a seemingly good day.
Thanks to our ancestors, we are all hard wired to give greater weight to our negative experiences instead of positive. From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s not all our fault, we inherited the genes that predispose us to give special attention to the negative aspects in our lives. Being highly attuned to worst case scenarios is how, in pre-historic times, humans survived natural threats. But let’s face it, the chances of us running into a saber-tooth tiger on the way home from work nowadays is highly unlikely, the time has come to break free from this limiting human default robbing us of greater happiness and success.
Studies prove we can retrain our brains
Here’s how we begin defeating the negativity bias….
1.Awareness- Just by simply being mindful of the degree to which our brain is inclined to focus on the negative aspects of things is the first step. Becoming aware of our negative self-talk and thoughts allows us to separate ourselves from them, to challenge and even eliminate them.
2. Relish Positive Experiences- Researchers have learned that negative experiences are perceived more easily and quickly into our long term memory. Whereas, the positive require a dozen or more seconds to be held in our awareness before it transferred from short term to long-term memory. Taking the time to relish in those good things that happened throughout our day reinforces positive patterns in our brain. Our brain then learns from these experiences, building new neural pathways, researchers call neuroplasticity, helping keep our brains attuned to positivity.
3. Crowd Out Negative Thoughts- Do whatever it takes, have an arsenal of go to practices to drown out the negativity. Here’s just a few I use daily…positive mantras affirmations, and quotes, gratitude journal, mediation, be more selective when I listen to the news, workout (kicks up those endorphins), practice the skill of reframing challenges and negative self-talk, seek a glass is half full mentality, surround myself with positive people, get outside as much as possible, build in simple pleasures throughout my the day like nuzzling with my dog, eating a favorite food, getting a manicure, watching a funny, feel good show that makes me laugh or warms my heart. Of course, it’s going to vary for everyone but the objective here is lessen the pull towards the negativity bias in order to gradually rewire our brains for happiness.
As they say in the neuropsychology field “neurons that fire together wire together”, each time we consciously decide to take in the good will make a difference and over time these little differences will add up retraining our brains to embrace positivity and overcome the negativity bias.
Wishing You Always The Best Of Success
-Holly-
by Holly Boxenhorn | Oct 2, 2016 | Blog
The Upside Of Stress
October 2016 Insights
“When you change your mind about stress, you can change your body’s response to stress”
-Kelly McGonigal, PhD-
Everyone has stress in their lives, and most people would agree they want less stress. But what people really want is to have less of a “stress reaction” to the things that are occurring in their lives and zapping their energy. Stress itself is not the enemy; it’s our reaction to it. How great would it be if rather than seeing your most stressful days as the worst days of your life, they actually become your best days? (more…)
by Holly Boxenhorn | Jul 6, 2016 | Blog
Responding vs. Reacting
July 2016 Insights
Though the words respond and react are similar, the difference between the two is quite significant. When you react, you are being controlled by outside circumstances, whether it be a difficult situation or person. When you respond, however, you are in control of yourself, of your emotions. Unfortunately, many people misinterpret what it means to be in emotional control and believe the key to responding vs. reacting is all and only about keeping our feelings in check. Yes, of course the ultimate outcome we want is to manage our emotions to allow us to respond rather than react but not at the cost of spiting ourselves the awareness and understanding of how we feel by brushing our feelings under the rug just to keep ourselves in line. It is actually through a greater awareness and understanding of our feelings that we can then become smarter emotionally, express ourselves more effectively, and lessen the tendency to fall prey to living at the effect of our emotions. (more…)
by Holly Boxenhorn | May 1, 2016 | Blog
Energy is Everything!
May 2016 Insights
Everything is composed of energy, including our thoughts! The lenses you see the world through creates your reality. We all enter the world without an opinion or belief about anything. Through our entire lives, influences of the world help form our core beliefs, values, and filters through which we experience the world around us. As you are presented with situations, you pass them through the filters of your belief system. When they are in alignment, you judge them to be positive and good. When they go against your view, you may judge them to be negative or bad.
Example: In my family, there has always been an emphasis on the value of a strong work ethic. In the past when when I would find myself not working “full out”, my interpretation of this action would be that I am being lazy. When in fact there could be so many other reasons contributing to my actions (i.e. fatigue, disinterest, overwhelm, self-doubt, etc…)
As our beliefs and values become established, we function on “auto pilot,” until we begin to experience dissonance and question them. Since many of our beliefs and values are given to us by others, we have the opportunity to evaluate the degree to which they support or hold us back. As a result, we can choose to make adjustments that align our beliefs with our true selves.
If you view the world as an angry place, you will see situations and make interpretations that support your point of view. What you look for, you will find. Also…others with a similar point of view may be drawn to you. So if you notice you are surrounded by drama, explore what is drawing them to you. Where your focus goes, energy flows. This is actually the basis of the Law of Attraction!
Energy attracts like energy and basically in a nutshell there are two different types of energy we can experience, catabolic or anabolic….
Catabolic energy shows up in the form of stress. When we PERCEIVE a situation as being stressful, we may feel fear, doubt, worry, overwhelm, frustration, anger, resentment, or entitlement. When we are experiencing catabolic energy, our focus is on the pain or problem. Catabolic energy isn’t bad…It’s just an indicator of stress that is draining you. If you can get to the root of it, you can release it.
Anabolic energy is not stressful. It is healing, positive, supportive, and expanding in nature. This allows the body to optimize itself. As a result, it’s easier to maintain a solution focus, feel energized, and propel ourselves forward to new possibilities and opportunities.
As we go along our day we are exposed to a string of stimuli that has no meaning other than what our perception assigns it. How we view a situation will either create stress (catabolic) or not (anabolic). The key is to become aware of the lens (energy) we use, catabolic vs. anabolic, that supports us in order to move forward in the most proactive and opportunistic way possible, driving us to greater success and happiness.
Curious to know how your thoughts are creating your reality?
How great would it be to have the ability to see opportunities when others see problems, and to see what’s right, instead of what’s wrong?
Learn how to consciously recognize when you are reacting to life’s circumstances, even in the most challenging moments, and determine how you want to show up, catabolic or anabolically. Contact me today and discover a method where you can you identify any and all core beliefs that may be holding you back from what it is you want in and for your life.
Wishing You The Best Of Success
-Holly-
by Holly Boxenhorn | Feb 1, 2016 | Blog
Resist The Urge To Hibernate
February 2016 Insights
With dead of the winter upon us and the holiday season no longer luring us out of our homes to keep us busy, the temptation to hibernate heightens for many of us. Like bears we humans experience a state of “winter lethargy”. But unlike bears we humans do not need to preserve our energy stores nor lock ourselves in our caves to beat the elements. In fact, contrary to how hibernation works for a bear’s survival it can be rather counterproductive for us human beings. (more…)
