The Struggle Is Real

The Struggle Is Real

Feeling Depleted? 

Hell yeah! We have been operating under some pretty heavy energy lately. Now, almost 8 months into a global pandemic where the “new normal” is indefinite uncertainty, we are no longer in an emergency phase but rather living in a chronic state of heightened stress. Of course we’re feeling depleted, much of what grounded us no longer exists, we are grieving multiple loses while still managing the ongoing impact all of this is having on every single aspect of our lives.

So how do we adjust to this ever-changing situation where so many of our systems aren’t working as they normally do, creating radical shifts in our work, school, and home life? Unfortunately, there is no handbook on this one, nothing in history comes close to its impact.  Sure there have been horrific events in history showing how very resilient we humans are but 2020 is an unprecedented disaster. It’s unique, magnified with 24-7  news coverage and intense political division in our country, complicating a unified approach on how to best navigate this unchartered path.

As a women’s leadership coach, naturally I’m asked for advice and suggestions on how to ease the angst we are all experiencing. I wish I had a direct answer but the truth is I’m just figuring it out myself. Of course, there are some sure fire ways to combat worry, lessen anxiety, face our fears but in this instance if I had to specifically hone in on where to focus our attention it would primarily be on our self-care and sincere acceptance of our reality. Rather then putting on a brave face, I think it would serve us all better to embrace how “shaky” we truly are feeling, allowing us to support ourselves in a way that is more constructive instead of exhausting our energy on trying to avoid the uncomfortability that surrounds us right now. While in addition seeking activities, new and old, that fill us up…practicing extreme self-care (sleep, nutrition, exercise, meditation, gratitude, and connection) and self love & compassion. I believe there is a way to simultaneously attend to our grief while also move forward proactively, gaining a greater appreciation of life and surpassing our capabilities that were present before this crisis hit us all.

My advice…resist the urge to suck it up, the struggle is real! Put YOUR oxygen mask on first so you can go the distance and still be of service to others.

Wishing You The Best Of Success









Part III-Creating Optimal Outcomes

Part III-Creating Optimal Outcomes

The Six Key Influencers

Everything is Energy. Your thoughts begin it, your emotions amplifies it and your actions increase its momentum.

As I shared in Part I of this three part series, regardless of how skilled and well intended we all may be, we are all subject to various inner and outer elements that can either help or hinder our success and happiness. No one is excused from life’s trials and tribulations, everyone has stress in their lives. Most people would undoubtably agree they want to experience less stress. But what people really want is to have less of a “stress reaction” to the things that are occurring in their lives and zapping their energy. Stress itself is not the enemy; it’s ones reaction to it. What one person perceives as being stressful, another barely notices, and yet another excited by.

When speaking about stress for the purpose of it’s impact on our CORE ENERGY, we’re talking about things that cause a stress reaction involving tension and anxiety. This type of stress reaction taxes the body and mind, and usually results in people feeling as if they are at the effect of life’s circumstances. It’s counterproductive and detracts from and drains our daily energy. There are six main kinds of stress or as I’ve been stating key influencers that will either support or lessen the likelihood of creating optimal outcomes in our lives. They are…


Spiritual Influencers involve your purpose, beliefs, values, gifts, desires, goals, etc., in relation to what you specifically want to do and how you want to do it.

Spiritual influencers detract from our core energy when whatever you are doing causes you to question your values, purpose, goals, connection, or beliefs.


Mental Influencers involve your clarity as to what you’re doing, your ability to remain focused on performing without being distracted, and whether the task is interesting and has the right degree of challenge for you.

Mental Influencers detract from our energy when you multi-task, stretch yourself too thin or have conflicting demands, or when a task either bores you or is too challenging for you.


Emotional Influencers involve how well your needs and desires are being met by what you’re doing, how excited and enthusiastic you are about doing it, and whether you have emotional control to be able to choose how to respond, instead of react, to any given situation.

Emotional Influencers detract from our energy when you feel as if your needs, desires, or expectations are not being met, or when you encounter a situation that you don’t understand or know how to handle, or when you do not know how to express emotions effectively.


Physical Influencers involve your awareness of what your body is telling you and how proactive you are in taking care of your physical self (i.e. eating/drinking in a healthy way, exercising regularly, and practicing preventive care) so you are able to create the physical power that will best serve you to accomplish any given activity.

Physical Influencers detract from our energy when your body is not able to function in an optimal manner, or in the manner to which you are accustomed. Lack of sleep, poor eating habits, illness, injury, asking your body to perform well past the limitations of its physical capacity (i.e. running a marathon, when you’ve never run a mile).


Social Influencers involve having the “right” amount and type of interaction with others you work with or play with and feeling supported in life. This may involve being surrounded by like-minded people who are excited about the same things you are. Or, lessening interactions with those that drain you.

Social Influencers detract from our energy when social conditions aren’t optimal for you or when other people’s energy affects your own energy negatively. If you truly enjoy working on your own, but find yourself in charge of a company project leading many people you don’t know, your energy will likely be depleted. Even if your excited about doing something, when others around you are “naysayers,” their reactions can affect your own energy and enthusiasm.


Environmental Influencers involve your belief that your environment will allow you to complete or enjoy a task you’re about to do in a way that you’d like to.

Environmental Influencers detract from our energy when you encounter an environment that you believe prevents you from functioning in an optimal manner, or a manner to which you are accustomed. If the skies suddenly open up during your tennis match, your energy may become depleted.

Now, I’d like to urge you to think back to a time/experience/performance when you can recall a great outcome or possibly one that didn’t go so well. Looking back on these six key influencers which ones do you believe helped or hinder the results?

Not sure… reach out for a complimentary “no strings” attached session to understand how these 6 key influencers are effecting the outcomes in your life!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

This newsletter contains my interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.