Instant Clarity

Instant Clarity

by | Nov 2, 2022 | Blog

The Secret…Knowing Your Core Values 

Wow. Maybe it’s me, but every year it seems no sooner have we put the cap on the sunblock, we’re closing the door on the last trick or treater… 

And before we know it, our attention turns to Thanksgiving, holidays and the endless whirlwind of present buying, baking and entertaining. *Phew.

Yup. In this crazy run up to the holidays, it can be SO easy to fall prey to the needs of other people—and neglect all those areas that have the biggest impact in your life. 

Meaning? 

By the time your in-laws are round, and drinks are flowing, you can feel as burned out as that bird in the oven!

So, the question is—how can we stay sane, productive, and successful, even when our attention is pulled in a million-and-one directions? 

The secret lies in setting our values.  

Now, a Values Assessment is something I use with ALL my clients—and something I encourage them to come back to, at least annually. 

And the run up to the new coming year is the perfect time for this, because it forces us to turn our attention to ourselves, and lays the groundwork for January’s inevitable desire to set goals and start afresh. 

Why should I define my core values? What makes this so important?

Core values are the principles we choose to live by—those highly personal points of reference that emotionally affect and inspire us to take action. Here are the 3 main reasons to define your core values: 

1. Shifting Priorities

Here’s the deal. When you do get super clear on what’s MOST important to you, you’ll develop an actionable, meaningful ‘to-do’ list that aligns with your core values.

And this is particularly important in midlife. Because so much of our lives have shifted, and altered—it’s easy to realize, what once was important is really immaterial (or at least, might need some tweaking!)

For example, if you asked me five years ago what my core values were, I would’ve said ‘accomplishment’ and ‘productivity.’ But not any more… 

Truth be told, I’ve replaced accomplishments with growth. Because for me, life isn’t so much about achieving anymore, it’s about growing into a better version of myself.

Let’s look at some other examples…  

For you, knowledge might be extremely important. So setting aside time to study, for private reading, and being involved in programs will become part of your weekly schedule.

If health and wellbeing is your priority, it makes sense that you’ll eat right, exercise well, and get the sleep you need to thrive with optimum energy and vitality. 

In short, all these things allow us to help organize and prioritize our time—but first we must discover which values are right for us.

2. Making Decisions

So often in life we find ourselves torn when making decisions. We agonize over the ‘right’ course of action to take, big or small. And when you throw stress and overwhelm into the mix, finding a resolution can become convoluted, and unnecessarily painful.

Because the truth is, us women? We can do a number on ourselves! We can allow self-doubt to creep in, and don’t trust ourselves enough… 

But we do know our values. 

And when we line up our decisions with what we want to do, and how we want to show up—well, that’s when we discover what’s truly important. 

I once had a client who lived a very corporate lifestyle. To keep herself aligned, she laminated her core values, and kept them with her at all times. And when she’d go to meetings, or have difficult client calls, she’d check in with them. 

Why? It helped her clarify how she wanted to show up, and the right way for her to move forward.  

3. Kickstarting Your Why

Now, I could’ve said ‘motivation’ here… But I’ve said it before, motivation is something we cultivate, not something that just happens. 

And if you wait for it, you’ll be waiting forever! 

If we’re honest, I think a lot of us are confused. We’re living by other people’s standards, or agendas—and we never really take stock in what’s most important to us. 

But when you articulate your why, now that will REALLY light a fire under your goals and objectives…

How Do I Complete The Values Assessment? 

Creating a list of values is personal work, and it’s work just for you.

The first thing to know is, this isn’t a quick exercise. (And my list of values has gotten longer over the years, as clients have added to it!)

But, as you’ll see it is an important, life changing one. 

First, download and print out your Values Assessment here. 

Then, find a quiet space to work uninterrupted, and take time for the following:

  1. Take a pencil and cross off everything that doesn’t resonate with you.
  2. Circle the values that do resonate. 
  3. Take these words and create up to five subgroups. Work intuitively.
  4. You will find within each group there are words that nail it for you, that encompass that subgroup. These are your core values. 

So, How Do I Apply This To My Life?

The true benefit in the Values Assessment comes from applying it to your life, and this can be challenging. Many women come to me and just cannot see a correlation between their goals and their values… 

So that’s why, if you show me that you’ve completed the assessment, I’ll offer a free complimentary 30 minute breakdown of your results—where I tie each value down to your goals, and what you REALLY want from this next phase of life. 

Ready? I can’t wait to see what it uncovers for you!

Rooting for you,

XO 

Holly  

P.S. Missed the link above? No sweat: download your free Values Assessment here. 

And remember, once you’ve completed it, please contact me for a free complimentary 30 minute breakdown of your results.

 

 

Can you? Or can’t you?

Can you? Or can’t you?

by | Feb 3, 2022 | Blog

Achieving Those Goals

Hey there!

It’s time to raise a belated glass to that elephant in the room… Goal Setting. 

Ewww, I know. Love it or hate it — setting goals is an undeniable step to success. 

Maybe you’re part of the shiny ‘New Year, New Me’ crowd. You’re still hard at the gym. You’re keeping up those dinner dates with girlfriends…

Perhaps, despite the symbolism of fresh starts and new beginnings, you prefer to eaaase yourself into a new year — mug in hand, lounging in the gorgeous cashmere sweater you finally treated yourself to in January’s sales. Bliss…

Or maybe you’re one of the 80% of resolution makers petering out as we now move into the first week of February…

Finding you’re beating yourself up already. (Pah! You know I don’t believe in guilt-trippin’ or shaming. We’re human. I’ve got your back.)

Last month, I talked through the numero uno secret you need to master in order to go the distance this year. The one thing that’s a game-changer for giving back clarity and making sure we’re firing on optimal levels. Missed it? You can read that post here.

This month, I’m going one step further. You’ll be leaning into your own energy. Being gentle with yourself. Learning how to trust — and make your internal dialogue work for you when it comes to goal setting.

So the question is — what are your goals for this year? 

And more importantly — do you think you can achieve them?

Because, truth is, there’s scientifically-validated wisdom in Henry Ford’s quip: ‘whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.’

Or in other words, on a scale of 1–10, what confidence do you have that you’ve got what it takes to make your goals happen this time…

And, well — stick?!

The study of Self-Efficacy (or the Science of Self-Confidence) is SUPER important in this.

It quite simply translates as: the belief that you can achieve what you set out to achieve.

And Albert Bandura — one of the most respected psychologists in the world — is one of its biggest proponents.

Bandura tells us there are 4 primary ways we can build on our own self-efficacy — and finally make our goals stick:

  1. Accomplishments. Specifically, your past successes. When did you last accomplish something that felt difficult — or even impossible? Reminding yourself of big and small wins from the past are HUGE ways to boost your current confidence. 

Create those wins, celebrate them. Build your self-image as someone who succeeds… And bring those past mastery experiences to mind when you’re facing current challenges.

  1. Social Modeling. Seeing someone else achieve the success YOU would like to achieve. Truth is, if they can do it, you can do it! Know that.

(Note: Don’t be envious of their success. Celebrate it!)

  1. Verbal Persuasion/Support. When someone tells you that you can achieve success, listen to them. This could be a coach, or supportive co-worker or friend. 

Better yet, persuade yourself through positive self-talk! Kindly challenge yourself as you would someone near or dear to you. 

  1. Act as if. This is a game-changer (and one I practice time after time). If you want to succeed, act like a successful person! Walk, talk, breathe, and carry yourself as if you’ve already achieved that which you aspire to be. 

You can read more about this in my past post here.

Lean into your energy. Listen to your past successes. Visualize your value: allow yourself to celebrate your wins when setting goals — and get ready to triumph.

Now ladies — strike that power pose and go get ‘em!

XO

Holly

P.S. Before I leave you today, I’d LOVE for you to take a pen and paper and jot down the answers to these 4 questions:

  1. What’s a past success you can celebrate and build on — for future triumph?
  2. Who do you admire — who’s achieved something you’d love to have for yourself? Celebrate them! If they can do it, you can do it.
  3. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? And what supportive words do they share?
  4. When you’re at your best, how do you walk, talk, breathe and hold yourself? 

P.P.S  So, what are your goals for this year? Shoot me an email here. I’d love to know— and cheer you on as you rock them!   

And know that whenever you’re in doubt, that’s what I’m here for…