Where And Who You Are Now

Where And Who You Are Now

The Power In Acceptance

For many, December is a month of reflection.  As we end the year and begin to contemplate new year resolutions,  it’s a perfect time to surrender to the discipline of acceptance. Without acceptance we are only fighting or denying what is, making it almost impossible to behave proactively and move forward to create the change we seek in the coming year. 

It’s important not to confuse acceptance with resignation. Resignation is an act of giving up of our control, quitting, or succumbing to less than desirable outcomes. Whereas acceptance is more about gaining control and increasing the likelihood for more optimal results through embracing what actually is, in order to better assist ourselves with the understanding of what really needs to be addressed.

So before we can create the change we desire for the coming year we must first accept where we are now. Grab some paper and pen and start considering how you spent this past year, what did you accomplish that you are proud of and where may have you fallen short. Let’s explore the highs and lows, celebrations and shortcomings to find the lessons to be learned from all our experiences, positive and negative and move forward with a renewed conviction in this new coming year.

Ask Yourself:

  • What were the most significant events (good or ugly) of the year past? (List the top 3)
  • What did you accomplish? (List wins and achievements)
  • What were your disappointments? ( Regarding yourself )
  • What were your biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
  • What did you learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc)
  • What would you do differently? Why?
  • What do you feel especially good about? What was your greatest contribution?
  • What were the fun things you did? What were the not-so-fun?
  • How are you different this year than last?

Let these reflections inform your plans for the new year. Say good-bye to 2019. Give thanks for the learning and usefulness this year has brought and welcome in 2020 with your eyes wide open and ready to move forward!

Happy Holidays Everyone!





Failing Is The New Black

Failing Is The New Black

Learn To Fail Or Fail To Learn

Here I was thinking I had such a catchy title, “Failing Is The New Black”, but when I googled it, literally tons of articles with the same or similar title came up. Thus, my point…failing is in! As much as it hurts to fail, it is an important part of life. In fact, it’s an  absolute must if you want to be successful. Simply said, failure teaches us in ways success cannot. If you’re not failing you’re likely not growing. The time has come to starting failing more!

If you really want to understand what it takes to succeed, bottom-line you need to rethink your relationship with failure and start embracing it more. Because as anyone who’s achieved something great will tell you, the road to success, with very few exceptions, is anything but a straight line. Though we all have been conditioned since a young age to equate failing with weakness there now is another school of thought which teaches that the path to success goes through failure, and that it is almost necessary to stumble and fall on your path to getting what you want. So here are some reasons that you shouldn’t fear failure, but rather embrace it.

1. Failure helps you refine your process -As Thomas Edison said it best, “I have not failed I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Use your failures as stepping-stones to evolve to the next best version of yourself, becoming increasingly more equipped and skilled, so you get it better the next time.

2. Failure makes you resilient -Every time we overcome something that is challenging to us but where we ultimately prevail, we build our resilience a little bit more. As a result we become more strong, increasing our ability to then withstand even greater challenges. 

3. Failure is inevitable, perfection is impossible –If you research the stories of the most successful people of our time, you’ll find they, too, have failed. It was failure that produced the success stories of people like Michael Jordon, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, and Walt Disney, just to name a few. It’s all apart of the process, no one goes from 0 to 100 overnight.

4. Failure helps you reach your potential – Extraordinary things will only happen as a result of extraordinary efforts. Embracing failure rather than avoiding it creates the conditions we need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Otherwise, we will be more inclined to only work within them. To bring out the best in us-reach our greater potential-we must have a “no fear” attitude towards failure, allowing us to detach from the outcomes, knowing regardless of what comes, success is already in the works just by the sheer nature of trying.

Let’s face it, the sweetest victories are the ones that are the most difficult. When things come too easily, we don’t appreciate our achievements. You deserve to be proud of what you’ve done, and unfortunately that pride comes in no small part from the knowledge that you’ve overcome challenges and failures to arrive there. Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid of not trying!

Wishing You the Very Best Of Success



Coaching vs. Therapy

Coaching vs. Therapy

What’s The Difference?

Having been a practicing psychotherapist for over 10 years I get asked a lot…what’s really the difference between what you do now as a women’s leadership coach opposed to what you did as a therapist? The answer is a lot! Though a big advocate of anything that results in greater self awareness and wellbeing, coaching to me has proven to be a more effective approach to supporting others who are ready to create change. Different then therapy, coaching doesn’t attempt to label someone and have them work well within that label (i.e depressed, anxious) rather it’s a discovery-based process of human potential, taking clients to the highest levels of performance and life satisfaction.

Don’t get me wrong, as a coach it’s not all “rah-rah sis boom bah”, goal driven work. There is still a ton of powerful emotions expressed, tears and frustrations all show up. Sadness and anxiety are all a part of the coaching experience. As with therapy, delving into the past is a part of the coaching process as well, but more as a means to provide understanding as to what may be holding one back. And let’s face it, creating more of what we want in and for our lives can be scary stuff so naturally we will feel vulnerable. That’s where wearing my therapist hat still comes in handy, I’m super comfortable with the uncomfortable and there’s likely nothing anyone can say that will surprise or unnerve me. But regardless, now as a coach I believe emotions serve more to educate us rather than define us. So my focus is on self-exploration and self-knowledge in order to enhance life satisfaction and performance. Whereas as a therapist my role primarily was to assist clients in feeling less pain through healing emotional wounds or manage a mental health diagnosis. 

Now, as a coach I work collaboratively with clients. I don’t assume an authoritative role. Yes, I do educate women on many coaching concepts and tools they likely have never been exposed to. But it is a partnership where we design a program/plan based on each woman’s agenda and desired objectives. Rather then telling clients what they should do, I ask thought provoking questions that provide insights serving as a guide to help simplify how they will chose to move forward personally and/or professionally. My sole purpose is to be a complete objective party, that both challenges and supports clients. For me, it’s no longer about “curing” or “healing” clients but rather advancing their potential.

Bottomline, coaching serves a purpose therapy cannot as therapy serves a purpose coaching will not. One does not replace the other. Certainly, there have been times I have meet with people when I suggest therapy likely being a better fit for them at this time of their lives despite knowing I could easily rely on my 10 plus years as a therapist to work with them. But I firmly believe there shouldn’t be a crossover, there’s a time and a place for each profession. So if you’re trying to figure out which path would be best for you, don’t hesitate to reach out for a quick connect call. No strings attached, I will gladly help you figure that out.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success