Can you? Or can’t you?

Can you? Or can’t you?

by | Feb 3, 2022 | Blog

Achieving Those Goals

Hey there!

It’s time to raise a belated glass to that elephant in the room… Goal Setting. 

Ewww, I know. Love it or hate it — setting goals is an undeniable step to success. 

Maybe you’re part of the shiny ‘New Year, New Me’ crowd. You’re still hard at the gym. You’re keeping up those dinner dates with girlfriends…

Perhaps, despite the symbolism of fresh starts and new beginnings, you prefer to eaaase yourself into a new year — mug in hand, lounging in the gorgeous cashmere sweater you finally treated yourself to in January’s sales. Bliss…

Or maybe you’re one of the 80% of resolution makers petering out as we now move into the first week of February…

Finding you’re beating yourself up already. (Pah! You know I don’t believe in guilt-trippin’ or shaming. We’re human. I’ve got your back.)

Last month, I talked through the numero uno secret you need to master in order to go the distance this year. The one thing that’s a game-changer for giving back clarity and making sure we’re firing on optimal levels. Missed it? You can read that post here.

This month, I’m going one step further. You’ll be leaning into your own energy. Being gentle with yourself. Learning how to trust — and make your internal dialogue work for you when it comes to goal setting.

So the question is — what are your goals for this year? 

And more importantly — do you think you can achieve them?

Because, truth is, there’s scientifically-validated wisdom in Henry Ford’s quip: ‘whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.’

Or in other words, on a scale of 1–10, what confidence do you have that you’ve got what it takes to make your goals happen this time…

And, well — stick?!

The study of Self-Efficacy (or the Science of Self-Confidence) is SUPER important in this.

It quite simply translates as: the belief that you can achieve what you set out to achieve.

And Albert Bandura — one of the most respected psychologists in the world — is one of its biggest proponents.

Bandura tells us there are 4 primary ways we can build on our own self-efficacy — and finally make our goals stick:

  1. Accomplishments. Specifically, your past successes. When did you last accomplish something that felt difficult — or even impossible? Reminding yourself of big and small wins from the past are HUGE ways to boost your current confidence. 

Create those wins, celebrate them. Build your self-image as someone who succeeds… And bring those past mastery experiences to mind when you’re facing current challenges.

  1. Social Modeling. Seeing someone else achieve the success YOU would like to achieve. Truth is, if they can do it, you can do it! Know that.

(Note: Don’t be envious of their success. Celebrate it!)

  1. Verbal Persuasion/Support. When someone tells you that you can achieve success, listen to them. This could be a coach, or supportive co-worker or friend. 

Better yet, persuade yourself through positive self-talk! Kindly challenge yourself as you would someone near or dear to you. 

  1. Act as if. This is a game-changer (and one I practice time after time). If you want to succeed, act like a successful person! Walk, talk, breathe, and carry yourself as if you’ve already achieved that which you aspire to be. 

You can read more about this in my past post here.

Lean into your energy. Listen to your past successes. Visualize your value: allow yourself to celebrate your wins when setting goals — and get ready to triumph.

Now ladies — strike that power pose and go get ‘em!

XO

Holly

P.S. Before I leave you today, I’d LOVE for you to take a pen and paper and jot down the answers to these 4 questions:

  1. What’s a past success you can celebrate and build on — for future triumph?
  2. Who do you admire — who’s achieved something you’d love to have for yourself? Celebrate them! If they can do it, you can do it.
  3. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? And what supportive words do they share?
  4. When you’re at your best, how do you walk, talk, breathe and hold yourself? 

P.P.S  So, what are your goals for this year? Shoot me an email here. I’d love to know— and cheer you on as you rock them!   

And know that whenever you’re in doubt, that’s what I’m here for…

Avoid Returning Back To Baseline

Avoid Returning Back To Baseline

by | Jun 1, 2020 | Blog

How Do You Want To Show Up From This Point On In?

Going back about 11 weeks ago our whole lives were turned upside down. It was on March 22nd when stay-at-home orders went into affect for most of us. No matter who you are, the reality is we all experienced some form of trauma from this massive upheaval in our lives. Even those who were lucky enough not to experience a direct hit like contracting Corona Virus or knowing someone who suffered terribly from it or possibly even lost their lives, still have experienced severe challenges, dividing our lives from what was and now is.

This is the definition of trauma, as it divides life before and after an event, challenging an individuals past ways of understanding the world and their place in it, compromising a feeling of safety. Clearly, I think it’s fair to say there’s not a person in this whole country possibly even world who’s belief system hasn’t been shook to the core in some shape or form.The Corona Virus Pandemic has impacted every aspect of our lives. 

Whether you are someone whose ready and eager to move on or feel more like you’ve been hit by a truck and on shaky ground, I do know no matter whatever shape you are in now, everyone can take this crazy time in our lives and still become a better version of themselves. During this “pause”  we’ve had the chance to see our strengths as well as our weaknesses. For most, we’ll likely never have an occasion like this in our lives where we can literally wipe the slate clean, take the time to heal old and recent wounds, and reconsider what is truly important to us. 

So I want to take this month’s newsletter to encourage everyone NOT to return to their baselines and take this once in a lifetime opportunity to go beyond the status quo and consider new and improved possibilities in their lives. To help everyone get started with this, I want to return back to two most influential, eye-opening exercises I share with clients helping them to gain awareness and understanding to make decisions for themselves that support how they best want to show up.

The first is called the WHEEL OF LIFE. It is one of the most well utilized coaching tools out there providing insight as to where we are at currently in our lives as we cannot move forward accurately if we aren’t aware of what truly requires our attention in our development presently. And since so much has change in our lives most recently, there’s no time like the present to take the time to reassess. The second exercise, DEFINING OUR CORE VALUES, packs a powerful punch and admittedly can take some time to do but well worth the effort. Since life is forever shifting and changing and most of us have never really taken the time to explore what matters most to us, we often unknowingly absorb others agendas and standards, living our lives misaligned with what makes most sense for us to succeed and feel fulfilled.

Both exercises can easily be downloaded on my website under the link VALUABLE DOWNLOADS. You’ll find easy to follow directions but by all means don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or challenges as well as successes, I would love to hear from you!

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Failing Is The New Black

Failing Is The New Black

by | Nov 1, 2019 | Blog

Learn To Fail Or Fail To Learn

Here I was thinking I had such a catchy title, “Failing Is The New Black”, but when I googled it, literally tons of articles with the same or similar title came up. Thus, my point…failing is in! As much as it hurts to fail, it is an important part of life. In fact, it’s an  absolute must if you want to be successful. Simply said, failure teaches us in ways success cannot. If you’re not failing you’re likely not growing. The time has come to starting failing more!

If you really want to understand what it takes to succeed, bottom-line you need to rethink your relationship with failure and start embracing it more. Because as anyone who’s achieved something great will tell you, the road to success, with very few exceptions, is anything but a straight line. Though we all have been conditioned since a young age to equate failing with weakness there now is another school of thought which teaches that the path to success goes through failure, and that it is almost necessary to stumble and fall on your path to getting what you want. So here are some reasons that you shouldn’t fear failure, but rather embrace it.

1. Failure helps you refine your process -As Thomas Edison said it best, “I have not failed I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Use your failures as stepping-stones to evolve to the next best version of yourself, becoming increasingly more equipped and skilled, so you get it better the next time.

2. Failure makes you resilient -Every time we overcome something that is challenging to us but where we ultimately prevail, we build our resilience a little bit more. As a result we become more strong, increasing our ability to then withstand even greater challenges. 

3. Failure is inevitable, perfection is impossible –If you research the stories of the most successful people of our time, you’ll find they, too, have failed. It was failure that produced the success stories of people like Michael Jordon, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, and Walt Disney, just to name a few. It’s all apart of the process, no one goes from 0 to 100 overnight.

4. Failure helps you reach your potential – Extraordinary things will only happen as a result of extraordinary efforts. Embracing failure rather than avoiding it creates the conditions we need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones. Otherwise, we will be more inclined to only work within them. To bring out the best in us-reach our greater potential-we must have a “no fear” attitude towards failure, allowing us to detach from the outcomes, knowing regardless of what comes, success is already in the works just by the sheer nature of trying.

Let’s face it, the sweetest victories are the ones that are the most difficult. When things come too easily, we don’t appreciate our achievements. You deserve to be proud of what you’ve done, and unfortunately that pride comes in no small part from the knowledge that you’ve overcome challenges and failures to arrive there. Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid of not trying!

Wishing You the Very Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

A Secret Elixir

A Secret Elixir

by | Jun 1, 2019 | Blog

Surprising Benefits Of Finding A Hobby

Want a surefire way to improve the quality of your life, relationships, and mood? Get a hobby. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking as if it’s that simple, how could something so frivolous make that much of a difference? The last thing I need is another commitment. Hobbies are for people who lead quiet, relaxed lives, and have extra time. I get it, between the kids, work, staying on top of household responsibilities, the notion of a finding a hobby can sound like a waste of time. But actually, for those people who lead very full and busy lives, it’s all that more important to find a hobby. Think taking up a hobby is an ineffective, senseless, or self-indulgent way to use your time? Read on to discover the amazing benefits a hobby can have on your life.

Why Get A Hobby?

Relieves Stress & Lessens Negative Self-Talk- First and foremost hobbies relieve stress and clear our minds by keeping us engaged in enjoyable and positive tasks. Taking our attention away from the day-to-day challenges and issues we face.

Enhance Social Connections- Hobbies are something that you can frequently enjoy with other people. Whether you join a club, play in a league, or just come across people with similar interests and mindsets. Moreover, when you  take some time to do something enjoyable it lifts our spirits so our current relationships reap the benefits of our improved mood. 

Increase Confidence and Self Esteem- Your hobby is going to challenge you in someway, whether mentally or physically. As you overcome these challenges, your confidence will be boosted. 

Enrich Who We Are– When people ask you what you do in your free time, hobbies prevent you from standing there and scratching your head in puzzlement. Hobbies give us something to talk about, adding layers to our identity. They give us space to view ourselves differently, exposing us to new ideas and different perspectives.

Promotes Productivity- Hobbies prevent burnout allowing us to take time out for ourselves, bringing us renewed energy and excitement. This will carry over to the rest of our activities whether at work or home. And since most hobbies usually require rearranging of our schedules to fit it in the activity, it forces us to manage our time more wisely and productively.

Don’t even know what pastime would make you happy? Best bet is to start by building on your own interests. Think about what you value most, examine your skills and personality, and pay attention to what excites you. Being outdoors, doing something physical or creative with others or alone. What skills would you like to learn, talents you want to develop, or experiences you crave? Brainstorm some ideas and try out a new activity from your list. Lastly, pay attention to how you feel during the experience and give it at least three to four attempts to get over the beginners’ hurdle. You may not find the right fit for you right away, but the upside is along the way you can have a lot of fun trying new things and exploring what’s out there. This summer take some time to check out a hobby or two, with the season’s warmer temperatures and longer daylight hours, along with for most, more liberties in our schedules makes for a perfect time to take some time  enjoying an activity that is not attached to work or other commitments. 

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

Power Up!

Power Up!

by | Apr 1, 2019 | Blog

Nurture Your Strengths

Many people are under the misconception that the sole focus of my work with clients is to attend to what’s not working well in their lives.  Though yes of course, obtaining what it is we want in and for our lives requires a level of attention to those areas that are weak or lacking, we often minimize or completely overlook our most powerful asset–our strengths. 

For some reason, when you ask most people how they can see themselves move more proactively towards a future best self, their knee-jerk reaction is to start listing all the things they want to “fix” about themselves or their circumstances. But research clearly shows that people actually experience faster growth and development when they nurture their strengths instead of correcting their shortcomings. 

Identifying and learning how to lean into our “signature” traits, those core characteristics that come most naturally to us, will be equally if not more important to reaching our goals as well as  improving our overall well-being. There has been a huge amount of research over the past 15 years finding those people who know and use their strengths on a regular basis are much more fulfilled, report a higher quality of life, and have much more fun at work. A great resource and tool that I have come to use personally and love to share with clients comes from The Via Institute. They put together a list of 24 character strengths where you can measure yourself through a simple 15-minute online assessment learning more about your strengths and how to leverage them. The assessment is free and can be easily downloaded using this public link: www.viacharacter.org. 

Of course, this is not to suggest we ignore making efforts to improve those areas we are weak in but rather, in addition, nurture and utilize our strengths to see where they may be able to support or lessen areas of weakness. It’s in both these actions where we can create the greatest likelihood for success. 

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-