physical influencer Archives

New year, new you…right??

by Holly Boxenhorn | Jan 1, 2022 | Blog

The Secret To Making Resolutions That Actually Stick

It’s January — and we’re back to our routines. In line at the supermarket, you’re hit by all the articles on health and wellbeing. You’ll go back to the gym. Dust off that yoga mat (or Peloton). Seal the deal with a big client/see your best friend more/eat less carbs… You’ve got your resolutions. New year, new you, right? And you are on it.

Sound familiar?

How many times have you started the year — with the best intentions — only to peter out in February or March? Slowly lose interest. Feel exhaustion return, and go back to the same old habits.

Truth is, you can have all the goals in the world. But if you don’t have the right foundation in place, it’s all for sh*t — or at least, you’re not going to be able to up-level your game. Dish out the work. Be available to your friends and family. Whatever the aspiration, if you don’t take care of yourself…

Your goals are going to flatline.

So, how can we make sure we’re not only on it now — but stay on it throughout the year?

This month’s post is all about the one big secret you need to conquer to stay on top of those goals. The one thing — above even nutrition or movement — that if mastered, is a game-changer for giving back clarity, a sense of purpose and making sure we’re firing at optimal levels…

(And it’s a problem I see more and more of you struggling with, desperate to find a solution…)

The answer? Sleep.

As human beings we have natural rhythms embedded in us. Back in the day, before the lightbulb was invented, we’d just sleep when it was dark. And now? We’re taught to go, go, GO! And as a result, our circadian rhythms are shot.

You probably felt it over the holidays. And ladies, it’s hard to admit, but we’re faced with a double whammy — we no longer have our youth to pull us through those late nights. We can’t just pull on a pair of leg warmers, plug in a Walkman and bounce right back (what can I say, I love the 80’s).

And no, it’s not just that your body’s changing — we groove to consistency. Maybe you wake up like clockwork each morning at 3am, needing the bathroom? You have a hot flash, and your mind starts whirling. We stare at the clock, getting back to sleep is so challenging!

4 years ago I struggled with exactly this. I’d survive on 5 hours a night. (And probably shouldn’t have been driving in the afternoons…) But when 8 or 9 hours is considered the norm, the fact is probably 90% of us are deprived sleepwalkers…

And so I know how important it is to share the habits I’ve used — to break destructive patterns, and help you live life to the fullest. So you can show up consistently and keep your goals alive month after month (and not just in January.)

7 Steps You Can Take TODAY to Help You Recalibrate:

Caffeine. This is a biggie. Listen, I love a cup of coffee (maybe even 2 or 3!) But pushing the envelope isn’t a good idea. You can indulge — but stop after 3pm, and give caffeine a chance to leave your system.
…And alcohol. I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but though soothing in the moment, that glass of wine after a long day stops you from reaching the really deep, restorative sleep that truly rejuvenates. If you can go without, do.
Avoid blue light. (Oh yeah — just like the electric blue eyeshadow you wore in your teens, blue light after dark is not going to suit you anymore!) Unplug your phone, maybe leave it in another room if you can. My secret? Set an alarm and remind yourself to shut your phone down.
Stop that Nextflix binge 2-3 hours before hitting the sack. The stimulation makes winding down that much harder. So save the new reboot season of Sex and the City for early evening hours only…
Be honest, what time do you stop working? (That includes checking your phone, deliberating over a response.) When my children were younger I’d put them to bed, and get back on my game for 2-3 hours. This was a terrible idea! Giving yourself time to wind down should be your number one priority.
Take a power nap. It might not be the American way to take a break in the middle of the afternoon, but your body will thank you for it. Get out of the habit of needing to be on it, every minute of the day.
Keep your room temperature down low, no higher than 68°. And that means no exercising or big meals before bed that only stimulates and raises our body temperature (and nix the sweaters and socks under the covers).

But what if you’re one of the many women who come to me tired and exhausted — unable to switch off your anxieties, thoughts and worries? The techniques above will certainly help, but you may require another layer — to truly quiet the mind and signal to your body, that it’s time to flip off the switch…

Go-To Rituals to Quiet the Mind

First take five minutes. I gently potter about the kitchen and put away the dishes. Whatever routine might be personal to you, to signal that the day is done.

Take a warm bath, dim the lights, light a candle. Heating your body up, to then cool it down, is a relaxant and sets you in the mood for sleep.

Make your bedroom a sanctuary. It should be dark, calm and cool. Your bedroom should be for 2 things only — sleep… and sex! No TVs, phones, nothing else. That’s it.

Establish a 3-5 minute ritual of breathing exercises. For me, it literally signifies flipping the switch… Because otherwise I know I’ll sit in bed and think about ideas for the day ahead, or that person I have to get back to. I’m running down the list, right? And that is not going to work.

Instead breathing allows us to tap into our parasympathetic nervous system — accessing calm, rational thinking. And box breathing (tracing the outline of a box as you breathe) is a very simple place to start:

Breathe in for 4, hit one corner
Hold for 4 until you reach the next
Exhale for 4 seconds hitting the next corner
Hold for 4 before repeating

And my final ritual for sleep? A nighttime gratitude practice. It’s a game changer — I talked about this back in November, but it bears repeating. Take a piece of paper and pen (no screens, remember!) and list everything you did throughout the day, from taking out the garbage to picking up dinner or conversations you’ve had. Now take that list, and flip it — look only through the lens of gratitude, and write each one down. Only seek the good. Because honestly? Gratitude is a superpower, it’ll squash any negativity you feel dead in its tracks.

Holly

P.S. So, what about you? Hit reply…I’d love to hear how you prepare for sleep — or which practice(s) I share resonates with you?

P.P.S. Please know this is NOT about perfection, just adding any one or two of these practices can make a big difference. You better believe there are some days I fail my caffeine curfew and nights a Netflix binge takes over. BUT those days are now far and few between.

How Are You Showing Up?

by Holly Boxenhorn | Sep 1, 2021 | Blog

The One Thing That Changes Everything

How we show up, the energy we bring to any situation is the key ingredient to the results we get. We can be crazy smart, super organized, and have the best of intentions but without the right type and amount of energy the ability to show up and be engaged in life can be severely limited and sometimes just not possible. By understanding and then knowing how to handle our energy we can have a huge advantage in creating a life we love to live.

Truth is the vast majority of us are unaware of why things go well for us one day and not the next. Sure, it’s easy to say we simply just had a good day, everything fell into place, nothing unexpected occurred, or we were at the right place at the right time. But we all know life is challenging, at any given moment life can throw us a curveball, no one is excused from life’s ups and down’s. Chalking up our success and happiness or lack thereof, to bad luck or good fortune is frankly bullshit.

Think about it, rarely if ever, with the exception of a health crisis, does our level of capabilities, talents, and competencies change significantly from day to day or even moment to moment. So what is it that makes us feel one minute on top of our game and quite possibly a few hours later on shaky ground? Why with the same capabilities you have right now in this moment “perform” well one day and poorly the next?

Before you answer that, I want you to think about this…you’re about to go into an interview or a presentation at work, maybe you’re going to have an important conversation with your child, make a go or no go decision on a serious health matter, or possibly negotiating a deal with purchasing a new car, house, business venture-what’s more important in that moment, your talent or the energy you’re experiencing?

Regardless of how skilled we maybe our core energy will be the driving force behind how our talent that will get used, creating the results we’ll get. And at anytime we are feeling stressed out, unfulfilled, or stuck it is because something is blocking our energy. Which is most likely a direct result of one or more influencers on our energy:

Physical-when our body is unable to function in the manner we’re accustomed (I.e.poor sleep, nutrition, illness/injury)
Social-when the people and social conditions around us aren’t optimal.
Spiritual-when whatever we are doing causes us to question our purpose, values, goals and beliefs.
Emotional-when we feel reactive and unable to control how we want to respond in a situation we don’t understand or that doesn’t meet our expectations or needs.
Environmental-when our surroundings prevent us from being at our best (i.e. extreme temperatures, office too loud, gym too crowded).
Mental-when we stretch ourselves too thin and our ability to remain focused is comprised possibly because a task is too challenging or boring.

Whatever your current aspirations may be…professional, personal, or both, by understanding and knowing how each of these influencers are impacting your energy you will have the greatest likelihood for optimal results.

Next time you move into that difficult conversation with someone near and dear, have an important work meeting, or are simply heading out to the tennis court, consider how each of these influencers may be showing up for you. Are they supporting or detracting from your experience? If so, how can you lean into those that are strong for you while lessen the pull of those that are working against you?

Bottomline, it’s all about creating an empowered energetic state and the rest will follow. Energy is the one thing that changes everything. We can acquire all the skill and mindset necessary as long as we learn how to handle our energy.

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

Part III-Creating Optimal Outcomes

by Holly Boxenhorn | Aug 1, 2018 | Blog

The Six Key Influencers

Everything is Energy. Your thoughts begin it, your emotions amplifies it and your actions increase its momentum.

As I shared in Part I of this three part series, regardless of how skilled and well intended we all may be, we are all subject to various inner and outer elements that can either help or hinder our success and happiness. No one is excused from life’s trials and tribulations, everyone has stress in their lives. Most people would undoubtably agree they want to experience less stress. But what people really want is to have less of a “stress reaction” to the things that are occurring in their lives and zapping their energy. Stress itself is not the enemy; it’s ones reaction to it. What one person perceives as being stressful, another barely notices, and yet another excited by.

When speaking about stress for the purpose of it’s impact on our CORE ENERGY, we’re talking about things that cause a stress reaction involving tension and anxiety. This type of stress reaction taxes the body and mind, and usually results in people feeling as if they are at the effect of life’s circumstances. It’s counterproductive and detracts from and drains our daily energy. There are six main kinds of stress or as I’ve been stating key influencers that will either support or lessen the likelihood of creating optimal outcomes in our lives. They are…

Spiritual

Spiritual Influencers involve your purpose, beliefs, values, gifts, desires, goals, etc., in relation to what you specifically want to do and how you want to do it.

Spiritual influencers detract from our core energy when whatever you are doing causes you to question your values, purpose, goals, connection, or beliefs.

Mental

Mental Influencers involve your clarity as to what you’re doing, your ability to remain focused on performing without being distracted, and whether the task is interesting and has the right degree of challenge for you.

Mental Influencers detract from our energy when you multi-task, stretch yourself too thin or have conflicting demands, or when a task either bores you or is too challenging for you.

Emotional

Emotional Influencers involve how well your needs and desires are being met by what you’re doing, how excited and enthusiastic you are about doing it, and whether you have emotional control to be able to choose how to respond, instead of react, to any given situation.

Emotional Influencers detract from our energy when you feel as if your needs, desires, or expectations are not being met, or when you encounter a situation that you don’t understand or know how to handle, or when you do not know how to express emotions effectively.

Physical

Physical Influencers involve your awareness of what your body is telling you and how proactive you are in taking care of your physical self (i.e. eating/drinking in a healthy way, exercising regularly, and practicing preventive care) so you are able to create the physical power that will best serve you to accomplish any given activity.

Physical Influencers detract from our energy when your body is not able to function in an optimal manner, or in the manner to which you are accustomed. Lack of sleep, poor eating habits, illness, injury, asking your body to perform well past the limitations of its physical capacity (i.e. running a marathon, when you’ve never run a mile).

Social

Social Influencers involve having the “right” amount and type of interaction with others you work with or play with and feeling supported in life. This may involve being surrounded by like-minded people who are excited about the same things you are. Or, lessening interactions with those that drain you.

Social Influencers detract from our energy when social conditions aren’t optimal for you or when other people’s energy affects your own energy negatively. If you truly enjoy working on your own, but find yourself in charge of a company project leading many people you don’t know, your energy will likely be depleted. Even if your excited about doing something, when others around you are “naysayers,” their reactions can affect your own energy and enthusiasm.

Environmental

Environmental Influencers involve your belief that your environment will allow you to complete or enjoy a task you’re about to do in a way that you’d like to.

Environmental Influencers detract from our energy when you encounter an environment that you believe prevents you from functioning in an optimal manner, or a manner to which you are accustomed. If the skies suddenly open up during your tennis match, your energy may become depleted.

Now, I’d like to urge you to think back to a time/experience/performance when you can recall a great outcome or possibly one that didn’t go so well. Looking back on these six key influencers which ones do you believe helped or hinder the results?

Not sure… reach out for a complimentary “no strings” attached session to understand how these 6 key influencers are effecting the outcomes in your life!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success
-Holly-

This newsletter contains my interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.

Part II-Creating Optimal Outcomes

by Holly Boxenhorn | Jul 2, 2018 | Blog

CORE Energy…how to create an empowered energetic state.

We often hear references to the importance of building our core strength, but those references usually speak to the physical core. The importance of core energy*, the energy that is at the core of our thoughts, emotions, and actions is what we will be examining more closely this summer. This relates more to how people see themselves, those around them, and the world itself. A person’s core energy is where his or her energy is focused at any given time. A person’s core energy has a tremendous influence on their “performance” in all aspects of their life.

When one feels stress (tension/anxiety) and/or when you feel a lack of engagement (when you’re not choosing to do something or not motivated by it), your energy is drained and your potential for creating optimal outcomes/experiences is decreased. The way you respond to anything you’re about to do or the way you approach a situation or set of circumstances, is unique to you. But overall, an individual’s energetic state is effected and resulted by six key influencers: spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, social, and environmental. What doesn’t affect your energy in one situation may detract from it in another. Anytime you are not “performing” to the best of your ability, something is then blocking your energy and it is likely a result of one or a combination of these six key influencers.

When all of these six key influencers are ideal for you, you have your best chance for peak performance. You see having potential and fully using your potential are two entirely different things. Let’s use the example of gas in a gas tank. Think of your potential in terms of being like a gas tank and how much gas you put in that gas tank is where the six key influencers come into play. If you have all six key factors working at their utmost then your gas tank is full, therefore, you are able to access your full energy and create optimal outcomes and experiences because you now have a full tank of gas behind your potential (capabilities/talent). But what if suddenly one or two of these influencers are compromised in some way (which we will get into next newsletter), your gas tank will now only have half the amount of gas it requires to work at it’s full capacity. So without a full tank of gas (aka maximizing these 6 key influencers) it makes it more challenging to access your full potential because you don’t have a full tank of gas supporting it.

Bottomline, these six key influencers affect how you show up. By learning how these six key influencers are either detracting or supporting your ability to perform, you can create action plans and strategies to get you more ideal outcomes. Ultimately with time, as you learn more about how these six influencers effect you, personal patterns and trends are revealed that help you build a formula for greater success. Providing a performance checklist of sorts to ensure alignment with the best version of yourself as possible even when circumstances are less than ideal or maximize upon them when they are all on point.

Keep your eyes open for next month’s newsletter and learn more about how these six key influencers are relevant to your greater success and happiness!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success
-Holly-

*Read Part I – “Creating Optimal Outcomes”

This newsletter contains my interpretation of the copyrighted work of Bruce D. Schneider and the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching.