Your Midlife Manifesto: The Science-Baked Secret to An Empowered State of Mind
Last week, I pulled my favorite pair of jeans out of the closet, and boy did they feel tight.
(In fact, it took me back to my teenage days, laying on the bed to squeeze into my 501’s, using a coat hanger to pull the zipper up over my hips.)
Only this time, I don’t feel quite so hot. I’m under no illusions. And when that kind of thinking starts, I can feel myself teetering on the rabbit hole of negativity:
‘Oh boy. Here comes the midlife paunch.’
‘I’ll have to stop wearing that kinda thing.’
‘I’m just too old to get away with it.’
Because sure, I happen to be a women’s midlife coach. But that doesn’t mean I’m immune to the occasional negative self-talk when something derails me. (And yes, that ‘something’ may be as simple as finding it damn near impossible to fasten the top button on my beloved 501s.)
And I know I’m not the only one…
Because so often my clients arrive at our first session together armed with layer upon layer of negative self-talk. Most don’t realize they’re doing it, but the outcome is still the same:
These brilliant, inspiring women are left with chronic feelings of unworthiness, which in turn limit their success, happiness and potential—and means they’re far more likely to settle for less in their lives…
The Power of Language is No Joke, Especially Our Own Inner Dialogue with Ourselves
Yes, even the most seemingly innocuous, or benign phrases such as ‘I don’t have enough time’ can keep you stuck in a holding pattern.
And as for my midlifer’s personal favorite, ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,’ well, I’m here to tell you that’s simply not true!
Not only is it absolutely possible to teach yourself new tricks at any point in your life—but in order to talk yourself down from that ledge, it’s entirely possible to rewire your brain, and develop new patterns of thinking.
In fact, if you want to evolve and develop as a human being, it’s essential.
That’s why I’m about to pull back the curtain on one crucial step in my signature program. It’s a proven technique I use with all my clients, that in turn will help you walk away with a mantra—and help you flip the script from ‘I can’t,’ to ‘I can. And what’s more, I will!’
But first let’s uncover how and why this is possible.
And it’s all thanks to neuroplasticity…
What is Neuroplasticity?
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to create new neural pathways. Usually, we tend to think of this as purely physical—for example, recovery from a traumatic event such as a stroke.
But, in everyday terms, neuroplasticity simply means that the brain is capable of rewiring itself or adapting to change.
In fact, until relatively recently, scientists believed that our brain was hardwired by our 20s—and our thought processes, patterns and personality were immovable.
But that coudn’t be further from the truth. Now we know that the brain doesn’t stop regenerating or reorganizing—and with the right techniques and strategies, it’s possible to shatter old patterns of thinking.
Think about it this way: when you’re first learning to ski, it’s likely you’ll follow the same route down the mountain. Those pathways will become embedded, and leave deep distinct grooves in the snow.
Then, as your confidence or curiosity grows you’ll find that it’s possible to choose a different path through the snow, and a new pattern will emerge…
Or even a new pattern of thinking.
Step Into the Power of Aging
The truth is with aging comes wisdom. Because, when you hit your 40’s and beyond, you are more in tune with your own true self than you ever have been.
And as I like to remind my clients, ‘if not now when?!’
But if you want to re-evaluate your life, and grab it with both hands, you need to let yourself think bigger—and take the small steps that will create a cumulative ripple effect, and lead to real lasting change.
And here’s what that looks like…
Craft Your Own Midlife Manifesto
Remember how taking that new, more positive path down the mountain, can rewire your subconscious? Well, it’s these new trends and new neural pathways that will start the ripple effect you need to manifest more in your life.
And a Midlife Manifesto is the guiding light that will keep you on track.
I use mine to remind myself of what’s important when the going gets tough. It gives me the permission to not always have the answers, and instead choose to fill my life with love and laughter—whatever curveballs may come my way.
Let me share it with you now:
‘I AM NOT DONE!
In fact, I’m finally figuring it out.
At every age comes advantages and disadvantages.
And I am choosing to focus on the advantages of each stage of my life.
Until my last breath, I have no intention to settle for the status quo.
I am done with beating myself up, and would rather embrace self-growth.
I give myself permission to not always have the answers, while still filling my life with love and laughter.
I will determine the ‘fullness’ of my life (not my age).’
You will see that my manifesto is fundamental to who I am as coach, helping women through midlife. It sets out clearly that I am the one who will determine what I am or am not capable of.
Will my life become more limited? Probably. Will I still be able to get on the Peloton and kick some ass? Maybe not… But the point is, it will be my choice. And this manifesto is there to remind me: I will not settle for less, mentally and physically until my last breath.
My midlife manifesto is my skin in the game when life gets tough.
And now it’s your turn…
Take a pen, pour a glass of wine—and write your own Midlife Manifesto. And, if you need prompts to get going, my 10 Question Toolkit will help you uncover what you want most of in and for your life.
But that’s not all…
Keep that manifesto as a talisman. Pin it to a board in your office (like I did), or (as one of my clients once did) laminate your manifesto and keep it in your purse, for whenever your confidence needs a jolt.
Because here’s what I want you to remember: Your words matter.
And they are your key to unlock a more empowered state of mind.