The Dreaded ‘Trifecta of Midlife’ (and what you can do about it)

The Dreaded ‘Trifecta of Midlife’ (and what you can do about it)

by | Dec 1, 2023 | Blog

Why Do So Many Women Feel Irrelevant In Midlife 

I remember the first time it happened. 

I was standing in line at the bagel store looking down at my phone, when a voice in front of me called out—

“Can I help you Ma’am?”

Huh?

I turned around — 

And I’m thinking, ‘Who? Me? Ma’am?! Who’s ‘Ma’am?’

I was wearing sunglasses for heaven’s sake!

I’d just been working out. I had a vest on, my hair scrunched up on top of my head. 

Wow. Is it my hair? Is it my posture? What is it about me that looks so much older? (Yup, all these thoughts flashed through my mind in a nanosecond.)

“Ma’am?!” (He was getting impatient now.) “How can I help you?”

So, I sighed. And took a step forward in line—both literally, and metaphorically. 

Because somehow I’d moved up a notch. 

I was officially middle aged.  

And for a moment, that feeling my clients talk about so often flashed into my mind: 

‘I feel invisible. And irrelevant.’

Now, I’m okay sharing this with you because I know you feel the same. 

When? 

Every time you look in the mirror, second guess your dress choice—and that inner critic screams ‘you’re way too old for that!’ 

Every time you glance down at your stretch marks, and pull that coverup over your bikini…

Every time you walk past a construction site—and don’t get wolf-whistled. 

(C’mon… admit it! And yes, the feminist in me hated it too when I was younger.)

But all this is no surprise, because our youth obsessed society conditions us to believe that our relevance is attached to how attractive we are — 

Or how much attention we get from men.

But here’s the thing…

While that may be one reason, to pin it all on this is to do ourselves a disservice. Because irrelevance in midlife is about so much more than mere attractiveness…

And in fact, after a decade of hearing my clients agonize over this, I can tell you it comes down to not 1, but 3 universal truths (and my own personal spin on it…)

So, let’s start from the top…  

1. Our Youth Obsessed Culture

Washed up. Dried out. And my own personal favorite, ‘spinster.’ 

Yikes. Over the years there have been some damn offensive terms for a woman of a certain age (especially if she’d never been married). 

And although those terms are outdated now, you could argue they’ve been replaced by something else—a youth obsessed culture that tells us we have so much less to give physically or sexually…

Our social media feeds are full of makeup, hair extensions, and tight dewy skin. Lunch hour ‘botox-breaks’ are the norm. Younger women snap at the heels of our career…

Whoa. It’s no surprise that many of us still think our relevance is defined by how attractive men find us. 

Especially when you wake up and realize… 

2. You Don’t Feel ‘Middle Aged’

Just like my bagel-boy example above, the truth is middle age creeps up on us—then slaps us in the face with a jar of Pond’s cold cream. 

My point? It feels like only last week I was a ‘miss’—and now I’m a ‘Ma’am.’ (And an ex-runner turned Peloton obsessive, with two hip replacements to boot.) 

WTAF? 

Now, however middle-aged is ‘supposed’ to feel, I’m not feeling it. And neither is anyone around me…

(Heck, even Carrie Bradshaw and co are struggling.)

3. Your Life is Changing Up

Children leaving home, going to college and getting married…

Parents aging—and needing so much more from us…

Technology, AI and feeling like we can’t keep up… 

Good and bad, wherever we look, the world—and our lives—are changing. 

And when you throw menopause into the mix, well, you could say the very definition of midlife is ‘change.’

Physically and mentally, midlife throws so much more at us than we bargained for… 

And that brings me to bonus point number 4, or my own personal take on this… 

Your Way Forward Has Disappeared. And There Is No Roadmap…

Here’s the deal: most of us have spent our lives putting others first. We’ve been the perfect wife, mother or daughter for so long… 

We’ve been to college, raised families, and had successful careers. 

In fact, we’ve been spoon fed since day one what we should and shouldn’t be doing, how we can excel, how we should operate as women. And I strongly believe us Gen-Xers, the late baby boomers have had the worst of it.  

In short? We’ve had many, many decades of putting ourselves in a box of what everyone else should expect us to do.

We’ve never tapped into our true, authentic self. We’ve never found out what our preferences might actually be. (Or we abandoned them for family and work.)

We’ve played nice and not ruffled any feathers.

And as a result? When our children leave home, or career changes up, we feel tired and irrelevant…

Our purpose has vanished…

And we find ourselves asking… 

“Who am I anyway?” 

Maybe this resonates?

Well, if it does, know this, you are definitely not alone. (In fact, I can’t tell you how many clients come to me with those exact same feelings.) 

But here’s the deal: it doesn’t have to be that way. And it’s never too late to flip the script on this.

The Secret? Learn How To Invest in Yourself in Midlife

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t easy when you’ve spent a lifetime thinking about the wants, needs and preferences of others…

But this is your time now.  

And you must take these steps. Because every single woman I know who overcomes her feelings of irrelevance is invested in her own self development—they focus on their personal growth, they work out what their interests might be, they take up new hobbies. 

They refuse to buy into our youth obsessed culture—because they know it’s just one narrative. Online, they follow women who inspire them, and light them up. They embrace an Experimental Mindset. 

They know their world is there to be shaped, and they refuse to give in…

And second? They stay connected. They join clubs, and move amongst people who see them for what they truly are. They feel seen, heard, and relevant.

In fact, this is the exact reason I don’t feel irrelevant. (Well, at least until some young server dares to call me ‘Ma’am.’ 😉

Seriously now. I’ve done the legwork, I have exposure to so many tools to help me, and I’m lucky to be in this industry.

And the reason I don’t have that piece is because I’ve built a very strong sense of self. 

I know who I am. 

And I’m here to help you feel the same. 

XO 

Holly 

P.S. If you’re reading this thinking, ‘but Holly, I’ve no idea what my own preferences and needs, wants and desires might be!’ My 10 Question Toolkit is a great place to start. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Struggling with change?

Struggling with change?

by | Aug 2, 2023 | Blog

From Menopause To Bereavement, The 4-Step Process To Manage Change In Midlife 

‘The only constant in life is change.’

So said Heraclitus. (Smart man, who summed up in one sentence the dichotomy of being a woman in midlife.)

I joke of course… But the truth is, midlife is a HUGE time of change for women. Not only, with menopause, when our bodies are going through the biggest physical change since puberty, but we’re likely to be faced with a barrage of change in our everyday lives—be it children flying the nest, aging parents, changing careers, retiring or downsizing our homes. 

But while some people absolutely love change and thrive on everything it means for their lives, some can barely cope and survive it…

And others still will do everything possible to avoid it. 

Most of us recognize that change is inevitable, but what happens when we’re so resistant to it, we fail to see it as a positive?

Because living in the past, or being unwilling to progress can have a serious impact on our professional and personal lives.

Well, during my iPEC training to become certified as a professional life coach, I learned an incredible technique that forms the foundation of all my coaching with clients—and now I’m sharing it with you too. And it’s known as The Cycle of Change. 

What Does The Cycle of Change Mean For You?

This technique can help you normalize change, ride its waves and help you see change as an essential part of life.

Because here’s the thing…

When you hit your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, in any facet of your life, be it relationships or health—you’re probably tackling the cycle of change.

Plus—just like dealing with any hand life throws at you—this strategy relates the changes we experience to a game of cards.

So, here’s how it works: 

Phase 1: Shuffle

Change by its very nature is often unexpected. Or, our reaction to change can take us by surprise. (The unexpected death or illness of a loved one for example. Even children leaving for college—no matter how prepared you might be, that feeling of an empty home can cut you to the quick.)

Well, the ‘Shuffle’ is a period of detachment from what was not working or what has been completed. It’s a phase to ‘time-out,’ emotionally heal and reflect, or search for new directions. 

Very often being in the Shuffle is associated with a fear of the unknown—but networking, exploring and taking action can help you to see a way through.  

So, here I would encourage you to take a moment and ask yourself: what aspects of your life are in the Shuffle? Which call for a new beginning? 

Phase 2: Deal

The Deal uses all the exploration and reflection you completed in the Shuffle, and helps you to take optimistic action—and move you onto the next step. 

If you’re in this phase you may feel excitement and anticipation. You’ll look for clarity and support. Your energy is high, despite any fear of failure you may feel. 

Perhaps, for example, your career is moving in a new direction? You’re pitching to podcasts, and building your audience. You have your head above water and you’re in full-flow mode. 

Phase 3: Play The Game

Now, you’re implementing your plan. You get on that podcast, start that new hobby, or buy that new house. 

In short? You’re all in. 

But, while this stage is associated with success, it can also be the setting for disappointments, setbacks, and new challenges. 

You may think: “What do I do next?” or “How can I find the time to do all of this?” And depending on the outcome, you might fear failure, or have a deep sense of peace and purpose…

But… that’s life! You’re taking action, and learning from mistakes. You’re learning to embrace change, and all that goes with it.

Phase 4: Toss In 

In this world, all things come to an end. Sometimes things end with a ‘failure’ and other times with a ‘success.’ Either way, people are rarely ready for the cycle to end, whether it’s the end of a job, a relationship, or any aspect of a goal or project.

If you’re in this part of the cycle, you’re usually unhappy and unsure of the future. You might turn inward, keep to yourself, and think, why me? 

‘I can’t just deal with this right now.’

Now, if you find yourself in this phase, it’s important to try to move yourself forward, get ready for the next hand, and shuffle those cards to start over.

Questions To Help You Complete the Cycle of Change 

If you find it difficult to pinpoint where in your life you might be experiencing the most change, or identifying where on the Cycle you fall, these questions have been designed to help you:

  • What are the most important insights for you from the Cycle of Change?
  • How might you integrate this into a problem, challenge, or conflict you (or someone in your life) is experiencing in your work or personal life right now? 
  • Read back through the phases, and identify where you fall. Name it. 

(Important to remember: you may be on different phases of the Cycle of Change in different aspects of your life. For example, your relationships may be thriving, but you’re suffering with physical changes due to menopause, or a recent health diagnosis.)

  • Now, ask yourself: what do you need to do in order to move forward? 

(Note: for the last phase ‘Toss In,’ an entire project or relationship doesn’t have to be over, only an aspect of it.)

Finally, consider the individuals or loved ones you wish to lead, inspire, or motivate in your life. How can the Cycle of Change assist you with any challenges or conflicts you might have with these people—and how can you shift your collective energy to help them?

Yes, it may be true that ‘the only constant in life is change—but with the help of these 4 phases, change does not need to be something to fear… 

Instead, it can be something to be embraced.

Rooting for you,

XO

Holly

P.S. If you enjoyed this, you’ll love my 10 Question Toolkit. Whatever change you’re going through, it can help you ignite a midlife reboot, and learn how to master the mayhem.

GRAB YOUR TOOLKIT NOW 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Don’t Mess With a Menopausal Woman…

    Don’t Mess With a Menopausal Woman…

    by | May 3, 2023 | Blog

    Three Simple Ways To Honor The Struggle (Because Sometimes Life Sucks)

    Don’t mess with a menopausal woman who wants more for herself.

    … Is something my clients and I often joke about. 

    Because, the truth is, at our time of life? There’s SO much going on:

    • Hot flashes that soak the bed, or steam up your eyeglasses…
    • Parents aging, and demanding so much more from you…
    • Kids getting married, having babies—or leaving for college (and calling home when it’s not going so well…)

    When, all the while you think ‘this should be my time now’ (to figure out where you want to retire, how to navigate your divorce, or what to do next in your career).

    Yup, aging can be a reckoning alright. (Or as I like to call it: ‘a sh*tshow.’) 

    Or… As Glennon Doyle so eloquently put it: ‘I believe the spiritual/official explanation for a wise woman aging is: LOOK AT HER! SHE HAS RUNNETH OUT OF EFFS TO GIVE.’

    Well, for me, this only tells half the story… 

    Because, what if, despite the madness, you DO give an eff…? 

    What if you want to be ready for every curveball life throws at you (instead of cowering in the corner?) 

    What if you want to move into the next phase of life on YOUR terms—more powerfully than ever?!

    Well, I believe, a strong part of dealing with life’s uncertainties is realizing how to ‘Honor the Struggle.’ 

    (Because, as we’ve established, sh*t’s gonna get real. But, it’s how we deal with it that counts.)

    To help, I walk my clients through a 3-part process. And here I’ve simplified it for you:

    Part 1: Acceptance

    And all this means is: accepting where you’re at. 

    Simple right? 😉 (And not to be confused with ‘resigning.’ That’s very different.) 

    No, resignation is relinquishing your control. Quitting or succumbing to something less than desirable…

    This means if you can accept life’s curveballs, you can regain control over them, and increase the likelihood that you will recover—by embracing what actually is, and what needs to be done—rather than wishing for something to be different.  

    Part 2: Embrace an Experimental Mindset (and Build Self-Trust)

    Now, I expect across social media, or in the business world, you regularly see people embracing a ‘growth mindset.’ And I say, there’s nothing wrong with that…

    BUT, the plain simple truth is this: it’s easy to trust yourself when your plan is working, and everything’s going well. But learning to trust yourself under adversity is something very different…

    Building self trust comes from knowing you’re resilient—and can bounce back from anything. It comes from being able to accept, acknowledge or honor the struggle, yet respond to any situation as you need to. 

    (Now, here I will walk my clients through what might be blocking their energy, and how to handle them) but for now, use this takeaway: 

    An important part of trusting yourself when things are challenging is knowing ALL experiences have value—but it’s crucial that you release your expectations to any particular outcome. 

    Remember this: embrace an experimental mindset—and you can create purpose from everything that happens (even if things don’t go your way).

    Part 3: Look for a Purpose, Not a Reason

    Although the difference between the words ‘reason’ and ‘purpose’ may seem inconsequential, energetically they are light years apart—and easy to confuse.

    And here’s why: the person who looks for reason takes no responsibility in creating her future. More likely, she’s stuck in the past, asking why something happened… 

    Conversely, someone who’s looking for a purpose does so with an eye toward growth and expansion. 

    Take my Mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis for example. It could have been SO easy for me to look around and say: why the f*ck should my mother have Alzheimer’s? Why is this happening to me? 

    But if I look for the purpose instead of reason, I realize that this is the perfect thing to give a (recovering) control freak—because I have deep immersion, and no control over it.

    And there you have 3 reasons why I am totally about honoring the suck, validating it—and using it to better your life.

    So next time, you think: ‘Why is this happening to me?’ Flip the script to: ‘why is this happening for me?’

    Remember this: happiness is an inside job. And right now, you have an unbelievable amount of wisdom that’s come with age… 

    So don’t give up. Learn to trust yourself, embrace life’s difficulties, and you’ll discover courage you never knew you had. 

    Rooting for you,

    XO

    Holly 

    P.S. Want to go one step further and ignite a midlife reboot? Grab my 10 Question Toolkit. It’ll give you the skillset to not only manage the mayhem—but master it.

    GRAB YOUR TOOLKIT NOW

     

     

     

     

     

     

       

       

       

       

       

       

      Time To Clean House??

      Time To Clean House??

      by | Jun 3, 2022 | Blog

      How To Deal With Challenging Relationships 

      “I have a ‘friend.” 

      She’s combative. Cutting. Once we had commonality but now… She’s the kind of friend that walking away from the party you feel kinda… sober.

      Or driving home—you don’t even realize it—but find yourself thinking… ‘Why don’t I feel so great?’

      And then it clicks. ‘Ohhh. She was being an asshole.’ 

      Hmmm.   

      Maybe this resonates with you?

      Because truth be told this is a HUGE topic of conversation in my coaching world. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re single or married—Ladies, at our time of life, we’re thinking about cleaning house…

      We ALL want to be surrounded by real, authentic human beings who aren’t pretentious, don’t expect us to be Superwoman—but do boost us up…

      Yet, we’ve tolerated certain relationships for far too long.

      So, what can you do about it? 

      Well, there are 5 methods for managing draining relationships. 

      (But the truth is, most people retreat to #1…)

      1. Remain a victim to it
      2. Change it
      3. Change perspective of it
      4. Accept it 
      5. Leave it

      Let’s unpack these a little…

      1. Remain a Victim To The Relationship

      In other words, continue to allow this relationship to drain you. This most likely includes a feeling of loss of control, powerlessness, uncontrolled anger, grief and depression. Worst case scenario? It’ll keep draining us till nothing is left.

      Ask yourself…

      • What is blocking my willingness to change this relationship?
      • If I’m not willing to change the relationship at this point, what’s my target timeline for re-evaluation?                                                                                               

      2. Change The Relationship

      Here we recognize that you can take proactive action to change the relationship (or some aspect of it) so that you can remain in it and benefit from it. 

      For example, you may find a common point of agreement that enables the relationship to continue—at least at a neutral level—releasing and reconciling differences, developing coping mechanisms, or taking action from higher levels of energy in order to shift the energy of others and yourself.

       Ways you can do this:

      • Resolve/repair conflict 
      • Create opportunities to grow and experience life together
      • Connect with the bigger picture of the relationship

      Ask yourself, why is this relationship important? What’s your common ground? And how can you both benefit from being in the relationship?

      3. Change Perspective of It

      Rather than changing the relationship with actions and new behaviors, a relationship can also be changed through modifying and shifting how we look at it. The bottomline here? Different ‘lenses’ bring different experiences.

      Ask yourself, how can you look at this draining and/or challenging relationship with a fresh pair of eyes? 

      And consider this…

      • What qualities do you appreciate in the other person—and how can you stay connected to this?
      • How can you see the other person from a new vantage point?
      • How can you experience the relationship from a different position?

      *This strategy can also be very effective with past relationships that are still emotionally charged within you, despite the relationship being over or currently non-existent. 

      (Think a painful divorce or even a deceased individual. In either case you could be so wracked by pain and guilt that you’re having a hard time moving forward.) 

      4.Accept The Relationship

      Here, you suspend judgment, stress and burden associated with the relationship. You are accepting it just as it is… and ‘as it is’ is okay. The relationship requires nothing but acceptance of peace for this moment in time.

      3 Strategies to Consider:

      • The use of centering techniques
      • Daily mantras 
      • Other self-help techniques to enhance your ability to remain stress free when engaged in this challenging relationship (i.e. physical reminders, knowing your limits, or minimizing duration of time spent alone with the person in question)

      The key is to find whatever it takes to help you remain in the relationship—and not feel drained by it. 

      5. Leave The Relationship

      If you don’t like the relationship and you cannot/will not remain in it…

      Or you’ve tried to change the way you look at it (and can’t) then your remaining option is to leave. Or terminate it. Respect the other person, and yourself as human beings and know that sometimes we cannot co-exist. 

      There is no judgment necessary. This is not good or bad—it simply is.

      Ask yourself…

      • How ready are you to leave?
      • What is your plan to transition out of the relationship?

      * If you are less than 100% ready to leave, develop plans to shift your readiness, or reconsider your strategy.

      And finally, here’s a simple truth that might help you to visualize…

      There are 3 types of friends. The ones you keep in the kitchen, the ones on the front porch, and the ones you keep out on the street. 

      So, what’s the difference?

      Well, your kitchen is the heart of the house. They’re your nearest and dearest…

      Those on the front porch—we’ll keep them at arm’s length. But if nurtured and cultivated, maybe they too could be welcomed with open arms…

      And those on the street? We’ll keep it lighthearted. ‘Hey how are you?’ (No need for anything more…)

      But why am I telling you this? 

      Because if you’re reading this, I’d wager at this point in your life… you’re seeing things differently.

      Maybe what once seemed to work for you—isn’t. Perhaps even back then you didn’t realize this wasn’t an ideal relationship, but you just kinda sucked it up…

      And now you’re tired of sucking it up.

      And finally, how did I resolve my difficult friendship?

      I’ve accepted it. I keep her on the street. It’s not gonna get any better than this—that’s not who she is. 

      And I use the presence of others as buffers… 

      XO

      Holly

      P.S. Consider taking some time this month to examine your relationships more closely… 

      Ask yourself, how do key relationships in your life affect your spirits? Are they raising you up or dragging you down? What can you do to foster ‘healthier’ relationships?

      Contact me today for a complimentary session, and together we can strategize on how to maximize ALL your relationships…

      How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

      How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

      by | Apr 1, 2022 | Blog

      Three Simple Steps To Being Your Own BFF

       

      Let me be honest with you. For 2, 3 months last year — I was in the zone… 

      My kids were in college doing their thing. I could finally give everything to my career, to my clients. Workwise, it was all coming together. 

      You know that feeling, right? ‘This is great. This is really f*cking great.’

      And as you know from last month’s post I’m a recovering perfectionist…

      Well, let’s FF a little… through Thanksgiving and Spring break. 

      My semi-non-independent kids landed on the mat. My mother’s alzheimer’s diagnosis began seeping through the cracks — 

      Think wandering lost in a neighborhood she no longer recognizes. Panicked calls that scare me out of my mind…

      And suddenly all the boundaries that were working so well for me, the mojo I’d rediscovered — BOOM. 

      Gone.

      EVERYTHING sucked out of me.

      And this got me thinking — what do YOU do, or say to yourself when the $h*t hits the fan? When you realize, between empty nesting and aging parents, you’re at the height of your own midlife angst? 

      Don’t you ever feel like it’s time to give yourself a break? Like, you’re just being a little too hard on yourself? 

      I know I do.

      (And as a coach, I really should know better…)

      It’s a universal truth. Because, let’s face it ladies, we’re great at dishing out compassion for everyone else, but for ourselves? 

      We’re our own worst critics. 

      So, this month we’re turning our attention to the science of self-compassion. How to deal with setbacks, failures, bumps and bruises — because when you put yourself out there, that’s what’s gonna happen.  

      But first, let’s expand on last month’s post for a moment. [Missed it? You can read it here.] If you’re trying your damnedest to flip that script from perfectionist to optimalist — and finding it’s not quite that easy — I hear you. 

      Rerouting toxic thinking (when it’s been your default perfectionist mechanism for so long) is super difficult… 

      And we make it DOUBLY harder by believing self-compassion is a self-indulgent weakness that leads to complacency or laziness…

      ABSOLUTELY. NOT. TRUE.

      The real truth? The less we sugarcoat, and honor our feelings, the more we’ll strategically and accurately move forward in life. After all, if you keep minimizing your emotions, how can you possibly resolve them?  

      And THIS is where the science of self-compassion is a game-changer. 

      So let’s dive right in —

      Kristen Neff, the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion, explains that if faced with setbacks or insecurity, most of us fall into the trap of self-criticism. Especially women. 

      And this in turn breaks down our wellbeing. 

      Conversely, self-compassion builds us back up. It’s a source of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. 

      And it all boils down to 3 main practices: 

      1. Self Kindness. Yes, it’s as simple as it sounds. All this means is when you feel yourself slipping into toxic ruminating thinking, talk to yourself as you would a dear friend (or child). Be kind to yourself! 

      (I mean come on, would we ever tell our child, husband or friend: just give it up. You should not even bother going to college. Y’know what? You suck at football. Forget it.)

      Yet, that inner voice does it to ourselves all the time…

      2. Embrace what Kristen calls ‘Common Humanity.’ You’re not alone. We ALL experience challenging times. If you’re anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, feeling less — you’re human. The only people who don’t experience painful emotions are psychopaths (or dead people) so remind yourself — it’s okay not to feel okay. (In fact it’s very normal.)

      And if you’re feeling this way — let me validate the hell out of you. Remind you that you have the fortitude to push through this. Heck, you deserve to push through this… 

      3. Take a balanced approach to negative emotions, so your feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. In short, notice the struggle that’s arising. Acknowledge and strive to understand it. And better support yourself to move forward. 

      Don’t allow yourself to get stuck, brooding in chaos… 

      Yes, it sucks that my mother has alzheimers. Unimaginably. And I’ll honor that at my core — but I’ve got to remember there’s no point in ruminating on it. That is never going to serve me.  

      So, next time you hear the voice of self-criticism, get smart AND strategic. 

      How? Start by rubbing your goals and aspirations up against reality… 

      For me this means having the support to STOP being superwoman. Sharing the struggle with my girlfriends or husband. Being a cheerleader for myself — remembering to talk to myself as I would a friend or a client…

      ‘Holly, this is super hard. But you can do this.’ 

      Because, here’s the deal. Anyone who’s achieved greatness will tell you the road to success and wellbeing is anything but easy…

      And whether you’re actively moving from perfectionist to optimialist (or simply staying committed to the best version of yourself) flipping that script from self-criticism to self-compassion will help you navigate the toughest times. 

      Ladies, it’s time to stop getting in your way and become your own biggest cheerleader.  Martyrdom is getting old. 

      XO 

      Holly 

      P.S. What self-critical narratives have you been telling yourself — and how are you planning to flip that script? I’d love to support you through this journey… hit reply and let me know.