3 Step Secret To Guaranteed Success…

3 Step Secret To Guaranteed Success…

by | Apr 5, 2023 | Blog

It’s Easier Than You Think! 

Picture this… 

You’re 52—and finally met the man of your dreams. He’s kind, generous, and with 3 sons, it’s your chance to build the family you always longed for. 

You had an incredible wedding, and those two weeks in Paris were simply… *Sigh*

But, back home, when the confetti settles, and he carries you over the threshold? You’re backdown to earth with a jolt.

Because, your husband’s boys resent you. 

They turn away when you speak to them…

And while you never wanted to take the place of their mother, you’re locked into the fear that they could achieve exactly what they set out to do—and drive a wedge between you and your husband. 

‘Hardly the Brandy Bunch’ you think with irony. 

But, the truth is, all those fears you can’t think straight, and cannot see how to resolve this. 

Well, that was Monica’s story. And talking this through in one of our sessions, I knew she needed only one thing… 

The ABC Gameplan. 

Now, the ABC Gameplan is all based around one central premise: success no matter what. 

It’s perfect if you have an all-or-nothing mentality—or in those scenarios when you find fear, uncertainty or plan old procrastination stopping you from making those decisions crucial to your well being.

>> Want to wake up each morning and go for a run? 

>> Need to look for a new job, but just cannot find the time? 

>> Want to find a way to heal a relationship with your spouse’s children—or anyone in your life? 

You need the ABC Gameplan. 

And here’s how it works… 

First, break down any objective into 3 possible outcomes:

  1. Plan A: the ideal situation you want from any scenario. 
  2. Plan B (or your backup plan…)
  3. Plan C: your safety net, or the bare minimum you need to succeed.

Here’s an example: 

Jesse, my daughter, phoned at 2am with terrible stomach cramps. We talked and talked, and after we decided what she should do next, I wound up laying there, mind racing, staring at the ceiling.

Now, you may remember how much I love to work out. But that morning I had zero desire to move my body… 

So, I started with the bare minimum! Pushups to see if I was in the mood. B? Lifting those weights. And before I knew it, I was on my A plan—and the Peloton with Robin Arzon.

Do you see what happened there? I gave myself grace to achieve the bare minimum—and that’s totally the point of the ABC Gameplan.

Now, it’s important to remember the ABC Gameplan is not all about hitting your A. In fact, usually you won’t because that perfectionist mindset will creep in.

But the crucial thing to remember is: progress over perfection.

Because here’s the deal… 

So many women I see are completely caught up in an all-or-nothing mentality—which in itself stops them from moving forward.

Maybe you feel this too?

But, understanding that there is a natural ebb and flow to success can help reduce what I call the ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’ syndrome… 

Or in other words, just because you feel frustrated, challenged or disappointed with your progress towards a particular goal, it doesn’t mean you should fall back into limiting beliefs—and throw in the towel.

So, what happened to Monica?

Well, more than anything she wanted to create a happy, unified family. So, she invited her stepsons over for dinner with her ABC Gameplan in mind…

And this is how that looked for her:

A: Enjoy dinner and spend time together. 

But Monica knew she couldn’t control their behavior—or a bunch of other influencers might get in the way. So…

B: To say to herself: ‘Okay, if it doesn’t go well, I’m not going to take what they say so personally.’ 

C: (Or, in other words if the sh*t hits the fan?) To know how to respond better next time… 

Now, I’d love to say Monica hit her A first time. But, in reality she couldn’t get past a wobbly C.

However, over time, the ABC Gameplan served her well. It helped her to keep her cool, and build those bridges with her stepsons. They appreciated her patience, and now, she’s slowly hitting her A… 

Want to take your ABC Gameplan to the next level? Grab my 10 Question Toolkit and ignite a midlife reboot.

GRAB YOUR TOOLKIT NOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Your Krptonite?

What’s Your Krptonite?

by | Jul 1, 2021 | Blog

WOOP It Away!

Let’s keep building off of last month’s blog post to address the seemingly common and continued theme I have been hearing from many of my clients regarding a lack of  “omph” or a petering out when it comes to aggressively pursuing their more challenging aspirations.

Unfortunately, many of us are under the impression that we have to feel highly motivated in order to achieve what we want but the truth is motivation is more powerfully derived once we cultivate habits that support it. It’s like a fire that needs to be stoke-motivation, inspiration, resolve, however you want to refer to it as won’t appear out of thin air. We need to create an atmosphere that fuels it. Life is way too distracting and consuming. That is why last month I highlighted the value of knowing and having a strong “why” behind our pursuits as a critical component in keeping a fire under our ass even when the going gets tough. 

Let’s face it, it’s a given that their will be hurdles we will encounter zapping our energy reserves required to make our goals come to fruition. In fact, research proves we can better secure higher levels of motivation and reach our goals if we take a more realistic approach before setting out to attain them. To actually consider all the possible obstacles we may encounter along the way. This way we are not caught off guard and can have a plan in place to work through most challenges and lessen the likelihood of losing our tenacity to push through. 

Gabrielle Oettingen, a leading researcher on motivation refers to this as mentally contrasting, where we examine what about ourselves or our circumstances might specifically prevent us from making our goals come to fruition. Could that be a lack of time, skill, emotional support, or knowledge? What’s your “kryptonite” so to say weakening your motivation level? Maybe it’s distractions due to familial responsibilities, poor sleep, or digital consumption. If so how can you better manage these obstacles more effectively so you can create the greatest likelihood for success.

Using a simple yet powerful four step process, Gabrielle Oettingen, suggest applying a technique called WOOP, it’s an acronym that stands for Wish + Outcome + Obstacle + Plan and works like this:

Step 1– Name your Wish, what you aspire for.

Step 2– Identify how you will benefit from the Outcome of this goal, your “WHY”

Step 3-What about you or your circumstances may create Obstacles in achieving this goal.

Step 4– Write down your if-then Plan to get around any and all obstacles you foresee. 

So for example if you know you’re prone to procrastination and likely inclined to get sucked into a social media rabbit hole, wasting valuable time you can be using towards goal driven tasks, it would make sense to create clear boundaries on its usage or just unplug from your digital devices for a time being. Or possibly, if you find yourself questioning your emotional or intellectual capability in accomplishing what you desire most, then finding support via coaching or mentoring might be the right plan to put into place to help bust through those self-doubting obstacles.

The great thing about the WOOP technique is that it is super practical and can be used for everything and anything, from an interaction with a loved one, optimizing our daily eating and moving, or a presentation/project at work.  It’s where the science of visualization and effective goal setting help us maintain our motivation in the process because we’re not only creating excitement and buy-in but being realistic by considering what may get in the way so we can then make a solid plan to actualize our aspirations. So WOOP away!

 Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

REMINDER!

REMINDER!

by | Mar 2, 2018 | Blog

Get Busy!

March 2018 Insights

Ok, ladies, March is here, we are now in the third month of 2018. What’s it going to be? I know it’s been cold and gray, making it challenging to get moving on what it is we want in and for our lives. Commonly, many of us start off with the best of intentions in January and tend to lose our tenacity comes February. I get it, the doldrums of winter can be less than inspiring but let’s take this month’s newsletter to refocus and rally. (more…)