Sick Of All The How To Set A Resolution January Blog Posts?

Sick Of All The How To Set A Resolution January Blog Posts?

Perfect Read This Instead…

It’s January — and you know what that means… 

In line at the supermarket, you’re hit by all the articles on health and wellbeing. You’ll go back to the gym. Dust off that yoga mat (or Peloton). Write that book/see your best friend more/eat less carbs… 

You’ve got your resolutions. New year, new you, right? And you are on it. 

Sound familiar? 

Well, it might — in more ways than one. Because this is exactly how I started January’s blog post 2 years ago. 

So, why am I shamelessly repurposing old content — and drawing attention to it at that?! 

Well, for one simple reason… 

Every year, as the clock strikes midnight and the New Year rolls around, millions of us will resolve to reinvent ourselves. Because whether it be health, money, a new career, or just deciding to argue less (after a week of in-laws and hosting) one thing’s for certain…

This year will be better… 

And yet, by February, 80% of us will have broken (or forgotten) our New Year’s resolutions.

Well, being a women’s life empowerment coach (and a decade as a qualified psychotherapist before that) resolutions and goal setting are all too familiar to me. 

It’s why I can recognize the pressure you put on yourself not to fail every year… 

And I also know that — just like my opening paragraph — if you cast your mind back, chances are your goals this year, will be suspiciously similar to last year’s… 

So, why should we expect this one to be any different? 

Well, that’s why, I’m not about to give you even more strategies to set realistic resolutions — and stick to them. (And in fact, if that’s what you’re after, my YouTube lives back in December give you a 4-Part Recipe for Goal Setting Success.)

No, today is about knowing HOW to dismantle the limiting beliefs and disempowering assumptions that put you in a never ending loop of setting resolutions each year — and feeling crushed when you’ve ‘failed’ by February.  

Now, dismantling these gremlins is in fact, a HUGE piece of my work with women, but rarely do we apply them to goal setting or New Year’s resolutions. 

Which is a mistake, because in reality making this one simple shift can have a profound impact… 

Or, as Elizabeth Gilbert so eloquently puts it:  

“I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.” 

Now, I love this quote because she calls out something we’re all too familiar with… 

In other words, until we’re genuinely honest about where we’re at in our lives — or able to call out the limiting beliefs and disempowering assumptions that are holding us back — how can we ever hope to put our goals into action? 

So, what does that look like in practice? 

Well, let’s take one of the most popular resolutions I see women make in January (after all the baked goodies, champagne and eggnog has settled). 

Yes, you guessed it: Losing weight. Getting fitter. 

Or (as I like to call it) feeling more vibrant.  

Now, your limiting beliefs around this might look something like, ‘I’ll never swim 30 lengths of the pool’ or ‘I’ll never feel as fit as I did in my 20’s.’ 

But here’s the deal: if from the outset you let that negative narrative chip away at you how can you ever possibly achieve that goal? 

The same works for any resolution you make — that new career, the house move, even worrying less about your children. The fact is none of these are remotely achievable, if you know, deep down you’ll talk yourself out of it.

But there is something you can do about it… 

How To Conduct a Visioning Exercise 

The truth is, negative self talk can quickly spiral. Seriously, how many times in your life have you become stuck, and rigidly hold onto things, or pooh-pooh away any choices you may have?

Well, that’s all it takes to break a resolution. 

That’s why when they’re spiralling, I ask my clients to write a list of the most outlandish things they can think of for this second half of life. Because, now more than ever, it’s important to remove a sense of reality from the situation. 

For example:

Want to swim 30 lengths? Why not do a triathlon!

Want to learn French? Move to Paris for 6 months! 

Want to travel more? Take up skydiving while you’re at it! 

Seriously, the trick is to go to town on this. Because so much of our stuckness comes from rigidly clinging onto narrow choices. But when we bust that open, a world of possibilities emerge…

And suddenly you’ll realize this year’s resolution to wear your bikini on that dream trip to the Maldives really isn’t that outlandish at all… 

You’ll STOP flatlining your possibilities or settling for mediocrity…

And what’s more, you’ll never again risk seeing yet another year come and go — or watching your resolutions go up in February smoke. 

XO

Holly

P.S. If this post struck a chord, and you’d like more exercises to strengthen your resolution and resolve — here are 2 things you can do next:

  1. Watch my YouTube lives with Lucie Q — and discover the 4-Part Recipe to map out your vision, set effective goals, uncover why they fail and dodge those midlife curveballs. 
  2. Download Your Free Values Assessment. This will help work out what your real, true values are, and kickstart your ‘Why’ — all super crucial to keep your resolutions on track.

     

     

     

     

    3 Step Secret To Guaranteed Success…

    3 Step Secret To Guaranteed Success…

    It’s Easier Than You Think! 

    Picture this… 

    You’re 52—and finally met the man of your dreams. He’s kind, generous, and with 3 sons, it’s your chance to build the family you always longed for. 

    You had an incredible wedding, and those two weeks in Paris were simply… *Sigh*

    But, back home, when the confetti settles, and he carries you over the threshold? You’re backdown to earth with a jolt.

    Because, your husband’s boys resent you. 

    They turn away when you speak to them…

    And while you never wanted to take the place of their mother, you’re locked into the fear that they could achieve exactly what they set out to do—and drive a wedge between you and your husband. 

    ‘Hardly the Brandy Bunch’ you think with irony. 

    But, the truth is, all those fears you can’t think straight, and cannot see how to resolve this. 

    Well, that was Monica’s story. And talking this through in one of our sessions, I knew she needed only one thing… 

    The ABC Gameplan. 

    Now, the ABC Gameplan is all based around one central premise: success no matter what. 

    It’s perfect if you have an all-or-nothing mentality—or in those scenarios when you find fear, uncertainty or plan old procrastination stopping you from making those decisions crucial to your well being.

    >> Want to wake up each morning and go for a run? 

    >> Need to look for a new job, but just cannot find the time? 

    >> Want to find a way to heal a relationship with your spouse’s children—or anyone in your life? 

    You need the ABC Gameplan. 

    And here’s how it works… 

    First, break down any objective into 3 possible outcomes:

    1. Plan A: the ideal situation you want from any scenario. 
    2. Plan B (or your backup plan…)
    3. Plan C: your safety net, or the bare minimum you need to succeed.

    Here’s an example: 

    Jesse, my daughter, phoned at 2am with terrible stomach cramps. We talked and talked, and after we decided what she should do next, I wound up laying there, mind racing, staring at the ceiling.

    Now, you may remember how much I love to work out. But that morning I had zero desire to move my body… 

    So, I started with the bare minimum! Pushups to see if I was in the mood. B? Lifting those weights. And before I knew it, I was on my A plan—and the Peloton with Robin Arzon.

    Do you see what happened there? I gave myself grace to achieve the bare minimum—and that’s totally the point of the ABC Gameplan.

    Now, it’s important to remember the ABC Gameplan is not all about hitting your A. In fact, usually you won’t because that perfectionist mindset will creep in.

    But the crucial thing to remember is: progress over perfection.

    Because here’s the deal… 

    So many women I see are completely caught up in an all-or-nothing mentality—which in itself stops them from moving forward.

    Maybe you feel this too?

    But, understanding that there is a natural ebb and flow to success can help reduce what I call the ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’ syndrome… 

    Or in other words, just because you feel frustrated, challenged or disappointed with your progress towards a particular goal, it doesn’t mean you should fall back into limiting beliefs—and throw in the towel.

    So, what happened to Monica?

    Well, more than anything she wanted to create a happy, unified family. So, she invited her stepsons over for dinner with her ABC Gameplan in mind…

    And this is how that looked for her:

    A: Enjoy dinner and spend time together. 

    But Monica knew she couldn’t control their behavior—or a bunch of other influencers might get in the way. So…

    B: To say to herself: ‘Okay, if it doesn’t go well, I’m not going to take what they say so personally.’ 

    C: (Or, in other words if the sh*t hits the fan?) To know how to respond better next time… 

    Now, I’d love to say Monica hit her A first time. But, in reality she couldn’t get past a wobbly C.

    However, over time, the ABC Gameplan served her well. It helped her to keep her cool, and build those bridges with her stepsons. They appreciated her patience, and now, she’s slowly hitting her A… 

    Want to take your ABC Gameplan to the next level? Grab my 10 Question Toolkit and ignite a midlife reboot.

    GRAB YOUR TOOLKIT NOW