Joy, Happiness, Confidence-you choose!

Joy, Happiness, Confidence-you choose!

Unlock Your Superpower…

Maybe too much information…?

But, if I hear my freakin’ doctor tell me one more time—‘Holly, your vaginal walls are thinning because you’re getting older…’

I mean sheesh. Seriously? Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate that.  

Let’s just add that to the endless list of midlife ‘fixes’ that you’re never quite prepared for: 

 >> The low-estrogen cream that’s $90 a pop to stop those damn urinary tract infections… 

 >> Figuring out whether to ramp it up in your career—or lay low till retirement… 

 >> Turning to your husband and thinking ‘what’s next?’ as you wave the kids off to college… 

 Yeah. There are a million-and-one reasons why midlife gets a bad rap—but I’m not having any of it. 

And neither should you.

Let me perform a little test here, and ask you a question…

How could you move more proactively today, towards your future best self? 

Please, take a moment to picture. And lean into your gut reaction.

Now, let me guess… Are you mentally listing all things you need to ‘fix’ about yourself, or your circumstances? 😉

If so, you’re not alone. It’s how nearly every woman I ask answers this question…

But this knee-jerk reaction isn’t gonna serve you. 

Because the truth is it’s only through nurturing our strengths, NOT correcting our shortcomings—that we can actually experience growth, and get to where we want to be in life. 

And identifying how to lean into our strengths—those core characteristics that come most naturally to us—is the key to reaching our goals. 

FACT: There’s a huge amount of research over the past 15 years on the value of using our strengths to feel more fulfilled, live a higher quality of life, and have much more fun at work and home.

Don’t just take my word for it! Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, says that for a person to be truly happy and live a meaningful life, that person must recognize their personal strengths—and use these strengths for the greater good.

(It’s a stance that Forbes, Gallup and the VIA Institute on Character are also taking pretty seriously, advising parents to focus on their children’s strengths, not filling an imaginary skills gap in their ‘weakness.’) 

Bottomline: If we’re to take Seligman’s advice, we should spend time trying to figure out these personal strengths—what we were born to do—without wasting time on making things harder for ourselves.  

So, that’s why I’m making it super easy for you to do just that… 

And developed a Midlife Advantage Quiz to help YOU shine a light on your own unique superpowers—and leverage your strengths to navigate midlife on your own terms.

In it you’ll discover a personalized roadmap to:  

  • Swap the ‘I thought I’d be further ahead’ nonsense we ALL revert to, with ‘I’m open to feeling more happiness now,’ so you can live life as an opportunity (versus just existing).
  • Feel more motivated than ever to shift your energy, make the changes you want in your life and find more purpose and fulfillment 
  • Handle life’s disruptions head-on, start navigating life on your terms, and do ALL the things that might’ve scared you in the past—because I’m not letting you leave this world with regrets!

Plus, I’ll also let you into some secret insights from my own life along the way… 

Because, I’m telling you—leaning into your strengths is a waaay more fulfilling way to live than endlessly trying to fix your life. Or popping another $90 on low-estrogen cream… 😉

TAKE THE QUIZ NOW….just press here!

XO

Holly

 P.S. Once you get your results, I’d LOVE to know how they resonated with you. Please reply back, tell me what you got, and if I nailed it.

 

 

 

New year, new you…right??

New year, new you…right??

The Secret To Making Resolutions That Actually Stick

It’s January — and we’re back to our routines. In line at the supermarket, you’re hit by all the articles on health and wellbeing. You’ll go back to the gym. Dust off that yoga mat (or Peloton). Seal the deal with a big client/see your best friend more/eat less carbs… You’ve got your resolutions. New year, new you, right? And you are on it. 

Sound familiar?

How many times have you started the year — with the best intentions — only to peter out in February or March? Slowly lose interest. Feel exhaustion return, and go back to the same old habits.

Truth is, you can have all the goals in the world. But if you don’t have the right foundation in place, it’s all for sh*t — or at least, you’re not going to be able to up-level your game. Dish out the work. Be available to your friends and family. Whatever the aspiration, if you don’t take care of yourself…

Your goals are going to flatline.

So, how can we make sure we’re not only on it now — but stay on it throughout the year?

This month’s post is all about the one big secret you need to conquer to stay on top of those goals. The one thing — above even nutrition or movement — that if mastered, is a game-changer for giving back clarity, a sense of purpose and making sure we’re firing at optimal levels…

(And it’s a problem I see more and more of you struggling with, desperate to find a solution…)

The answer? Sleep.

As human beings we have natural rhythms embedded in us. Back in the day, before the lightbulb was invented, we’d just sleep when it was dark. And now? We’re taught to go, go, GO! And as a result, our circadian rhythms are shot.

You probably felt it over the holidays. And ladies, it’s hard to admit, but we’re faced with a double whammy — we no longer have our youth to pull us through those late nights. We can’t just pull on a pair of leg warmers, plug in a Walkman and bounce right back (what can I say, I love the 80’s).

And no, it’s not just that your body’s changing — we groove to consistency. Maybe you wake up like clockwork each morning at 3am, needing the bathroom? You have a hot flash, and your mind starts whirling. We stare at the clock, getting back to sleep is so challenging!

4 years ago I struggled with exactly this. I’d survive on 5 hours a night. (And probably shouldn’t have been driving in the afternoons…) But when 8 or 9 hours is considered the norm, the fact is probably 90% of us are deprived sleepwalkers…

And so I know how important it is to share the habits I’ve used — to break destructive patterns, and help you live life to the fullest. So you can show up consistently and keep your goals alive month after month (and not just in January.)

7 Steps You Can Take TODAY to Help You Recalibrate: 

  • Caffeine. This is a biggie. Listen, I love a cup of coffee (maybe even 2 or 3!) But pushing the envelope isn’t a good idea. You can indulge — but stop after 3pm, and give caffeine a chance to leave your system.
  • …And alcohol. I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but though soothing in the moment, that glass of wine after a long day stops you from reaching the really deep, restorative sleep that truly rejuvenates. If you can go without, do.
  • Avoid blue light. (Oh yeah — just like the electric blue eyeshadow you wore in your teens, blue light after dark is not going to suit you anymore!) Unplug your phone, maybe leave it in another room if you can. My secret? Set an alarm and remind yourself to shut your phone down.
  • Stop that Nextflix binge 2-3 hours before hitting the sack. The stimulation makes winding down that much harder. So save the new reboot season of Sex and the City for early evening hours only…
  • Be honest, what time do you stop working? (That includes checking your phone, deliberating over a response.) When my children were younger I’d put them to bed, and get back on my game for 2-3 hours. This was a terrible idea! Giving yourself time to wind down should be your number one priority.
  • Take a power nap. It might not be the American way to take a break in the middle of the afternoon, but your body will thank you for it. Get out of the habit of needing to be on it, every minute of the day.
  • Keep your room temperature down low, no higher than 68°. And that means no exercising or big meals before bed that only stimulates and raises our body temperature (and nix the sweaters and socks under the covers).

But what if you’re one of the many women who come to me tired and exhausted — unable to switch off your anxieties, thoughts and worries? The techniques above will certainly help, but you may require another layer — to truly quiet the mind and signal to your body, that it’s time to flip off the switch…

Go-To Rituals to Quiet the Mind 

First take five minutes. I gently potter about the kitchen and put away the dishes. Whatever routine might be personal to you, to signal that the day is done.

Take a warm bath, dim the lights, light a candle. Heating your body up, to then cool it down, is a relaxant and sets you in the mood for sleep.

Make your bedroom a sanctuary. It should be dark, calm and cool. Your bedroom should be for 2 things only — sleep… and sex! No TVs, phones, nothing else. That’s it.

Establish a 3-5 minute ritual of breathing exercises. For me, it literally signifies flipping the switch… Because otherwise I know I’ll sit in bed and think about ideas for the day ahead, or that person I have to get back to. I’m running down the list, right? And that is not going to work.

Instead breathing allows us to tap into our parasympathetic nervous system — accessing calm, rational thinking. And box breathing (tracing the outline of a box as you breathe) is a very simple place to start:

  1. Breathe in for 4, hit one corner
  2. Hold for 4 until you reach the next
  3. Exhale for 4 seconds hitting the next corner
  4. Hold for 4 before repeating

And my final ritual for sleep? A nighttime gratitude practice. It’s a game changer — I talked about this back in November, but it bears repeating. Take a piece of paper and pen (no screens, remember!) and list everything you did throughout the day, from taking out the garbage to picking up dinner or conversations you’ve had. Now take that list, and flip it — look only through the lens of gratitude, and write each one down. Only seek the good. Because honestly? Gratitude is a superpower, it’ll squash any negativity you feel dead in its tracks.

XO

Holly

P.S. So, what about you? Hit reply…I’d love to hear how you prepare for sleep — or which practice(s) I share resonates with you?

P.P.S. Please know this is NOT about perfection,  just adding any one or two of these practices can make a big difference. You better believe there are some days I fail my caffeine curfew and nights a Netflix binge takes over. BUT those days are now far and few between. 

How Are You Showing Up?

How Are You Showing Up?

The One Thing That Changes Everything

How we show up, the energy we bring to any situation is the key ingredient to the results we get. We can be crazy smart, super organized, and have the best of intentions but without the right type and amount of energy the ability to show up and be engaged in life can be severely limited and sometimes just not possible. By understanding and then knowing how to handle our energy we can have a huge advantage in creating a life we love to live.

Truth is the vast majority of us are unaware of why things go well for us one day and not the next. Sure, it’s easy to say we simply just had a good day, everything fell into place, nothing unexpected occurred, or we were at the right place at the right time. But we all know life is challenging, at any given moment life can throw us a curveball, no one is excused from life’s ups and down’s. Chalking up our success and happiness or lack thereof, to bad luck or good fortune is frankly bullshit.

Think about it, rarely if ever, with the exception of a health crisis, does our level of capabilities, talents, and competencies change significantly from day to day or even moment to moment. So what is it that makes us feel one minute on top of our game and quite possibly a few hours later on shaky ground? Why with the same capabilities you have right now in this moment “perform” well one day and poorly the next?

Before you answer that, I want you to think about this…you’re about to go into an interview or a presentation at work, maybe you’re going to have an important conversation with your child, make a go or no go decision on a serious health matter, or possibly negotiating a deal with purchasing a new car, house, business venture-what’s more important in that moment, your talent or the energy you’re experiencing? 

Regardless of how skilled we maybe our core energy will be the driving force behind how our talent that will get used, creating the results we’ll get. And at anytime we are feeling stressed out, unfulfilled, or stuck it is because something is blocking our energy. Which is most likely a direct result of one or more influencers on our energy: 

  • Physical-when our body is unable to function in the manner we’re accustomed (I.e.poor sleep, nutrition, illness/injury)
  • Social-when the people and social conditions around us aren’t optimal.
  • Spiritual-when whatever we are doing causes us to question our purpose, values, goals and beliefs.
  • Emotional-when we feel reactive and unable to control how we want to respond in a situation we don’t understand or that doesn’t meet our expectations or needs. 
  • Environmental-when our surroundings prevent us from being at our best (i.e. extreme temperatures, office too loud, gym too crowded).
  • Mental-when we stretch ourselves too thin and our ability to remain focused is comprised possibly because a task is too challenging or boring.

Whatever your current aspirations may be…professional, personal, or both, by understanding and knowing how each of these influencers are impacting your energy you will have the greatest likelihood for optimal results.

Next time you move into that difficult conversation with someone near and dear, have an important work meeting, or are simply heading out to the tennis court, consider how each of these influencers may be showing up for you. Are they supporting or detracting from your experience? If so, how can you lean into those that are strong for you while lessen the pull of those that are working against you?

Bottomline, it’s all about creating an empowered energetic state and the rest will follow. Energy is the one thing that changes everything. We can acquire all the skill and mindset necessary as long as we learn how to handle our energy.

 Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-