Difficult Decisions Are Everywhere
Do you find it hard to make your mind up?
Well, I hate to break it to you, but in midlife, decision making can take on a whole new level…
Why? Well, when you factor in brain fog, anxiety, or the loss of confidence that often comes with going through menopause, it can mean you find yourself overthinking, and even the simplest decisions feel like accepting a marriage proposal…
Yet, the truth is when you hit your 50’s or 60’s you’ll often find yourself with more decisions than EVER to make in life.
Take me for example! In the last 5 years I’ve had to decide:
- Whether or not to have my hip replaced (health decisions are HUGE in midlife)
- If assisted living is right for my mom, and how best to deal with her alzheimer’s diagnosis
- With all this going on, how exactly to expand my business, and how best to serve my clients
Now, how we choose to make good decisions is as unique as we are. Some people will gather a great deal of info, and consider thoughts and opinions from a ton of sources.
Others gather significantly less and take more time to decide…
And others will hurtle headlong into any decision based on what their gut tells them.
So, how can we possibly know if the decisions we make are the right ones?
Well, that’s where Holographic Thinking comes in…
Holographic Thinking is something I learned in my iPEC training, and it’s an absolute game-changer (I don’t use that term lightly!) in helping you make good informed decisions and trusting your own judgment.
Holographic Thinking teaches us there are 3 main ways to make your mind up:
1. Logic: analyzing a situation through examining the facts and using your mind in a linear and scientific way. Maybe this involves research about what experts believe about the situation, or critically analyzing what you already know by experience or common knowledge.
When you approach a decision logically you’re looking to see if it makes sense.
2. Emotion: looking at a situation through the lens of how you feel. Here you’re probably looking to see what would be most enjoyable, or how the decision might affect others around you.
3. Intuition: instinctive knowledge that can’t be explained. (Or looking to see what your senses say.) This is what I refer to as a ‘midlife wizery’—i.e. many lessons learned, much knowledge acquired, and knowing ourselves better than ever.
Ask yourself, how many midlife women do you meet who are totally rocking it, no longer bullshit themselves—and are so done with feeling ‘less than?’ Well, chances are, they’re perfectly in touch with their intuition…
Now, all that being said, no one way is better than another, but combining all 3 is where the power lies—just as a hologram produces 3 dimensions or perspectives.
So how can we make Holographic Thinking work for us in real terms, in real life?
Well, next time you have a decision to make, ask yourself these questions:
- How much sense does it make? How do I think it will work?
- How enjoyable or fun will it be?
- What do my inner senses say about it? What does my gut say?
These questions target each facet of your thought process, and help you arrive at a well rounded answer you can be confident in.
And how can Friends help you with Holographic Thinking?
If you find it difficult to remember the distinctions between the 3 types, it can help to associate them with advice from people you know—or even characters from your favorite sitcom.
- What would logical Ross do to come to a decision in your situation? He’d likely read every single book on the subject and weigh up every possibility.
- How would emotional Rachel feel about it? She’d probably write a letter (‘eighteen pages, front and back!’) and let it all out.
- And how would intuitive Phoebe deal with it? She’d trust her gut, play her guitar and wait for inspiration to strike.
But one thing’s for sure, together over coffee in Central Perk, their decisions would definitely be more nuanced, powerful and effective.
Find you have more questions than EVER in midlife? Grab my 10 Question Toolkit. It’ll give you the skillset to not only manage the mayhem—but master it.