Presence In Your Moments??

Presence In Your Moments??

by | Sep 1, 2022 | Blog

Mindfulness..what is all the hype about?

I’ll bet the men in your life are pretty in awe of your ability to multitask… 

Writing up shopping lists. Helping your daughter through her latest heartbreak. Running a Fortune 500…

(Okay, very few of us are in the last bracket. But you get the picture…)

For years we’ve been in a constant state of flux. GO GO GO!

And now? Maybe it’s just me but in line at the supermarket, all the headlines I see on Elle or Cosmo are… telling me to slow down. 

Train Your Mind, Transform Your Life. 

3 Secrets To Mindful Eating. 

Mindful Menstruation: Here’s How It Works

Huh?! Well, at least I don’t need to worry about the last one… 😉

Seriously ladies, this change in tempo? It’s kind of comical… But such an important piece for our wellbeing. 

That’s why, this month I’m tackling the subject of Mindfulness. What it is…

And why you don’t have to be a yogi master to practice it…

So, let’s start at the top. What is Mindfulness? 

By definition, mindfulness is a quality of being present and fully engaged with whatever we’re doing at the moment. Free from distraction or judgment, and aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them.

And there are sooo many different ways to practice it… 

Meditation is the formal mindfulness practice you’re probably aware of. In fact I’d even go so far as to say, it’s a superpower. 

Slowing your brain has been shown to thicken the pre-frontal cortex, managing higher order brain function. In other words, it increases your awareness, concentration, and decision making…

Which in turn, plays an important role in our emotional regulation, and helps us to create a pause so we’re not hijacked by our emotions—and less reactive in this crazy stressful world we’re living in.

(Plus, studies show how we can lose up to 10 IQ points and close to 2 hours in a day to daily distractions! Crazy, right?) 

Informal mindfulness on the other hand, is where we consciously bring a quality of attunement, attention and awareness to all areas of our life. Whether that be with a conversation with our child or friend, driving in the car, or just savouring the taste of a good meal.

The truth is, you don’t have to be a blissed out guru to feel the benefits of mindfulness in your everyday life… 

And if the thought of meditation feels a little alien or overwhelming, you’re not alone… 

(In fact, when I started practicing I literally had a piece of paper on the floor in my office—that I had to step over—that would remind me to meditate!)

Because here’s the secret… let the habit grow organically. Ease, mindfulness into your life, so you can feel the benefits and it becomes second nature to you.  

So, here’s a sneak peek at my 7 day Informal Mindfulness Challenge: 

  1. Pick at least one typical daily activity per day. It may be brushing your teeth, getting dressed in the morning, walking your dog, eating a meal, walking to the mailbox…
  2. Take a few mindful deep breaths. Take note of what is happening for you right in the here and now as you move into the activity. 
  3. Proceed with the activity as if it is the most important thing in the world, with great curiosity and care. 
  4. As you do the activity tune into all your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, feel tactilely? 
  5. Just do this one thing, no multi-tasking, only single tasking here. Instead of trying to just get it done quickly so you can move on to something else, invest 100% of your effort on that chosen activity. And as best you can keep your full attention on what you’re doing. 

Every time your mind wanders off, simply notice, do not judge it or yourself for wandering off (this is NORMAL) and just simply return your attention back to your breath and the activity. 

Keep returning to the present moment over and over again even if it seems like it’s your 100th time. Some find it helpful to say a few guided words silently to themselves, for example: 

‘I am now talking to my daughter…’ 

‘The water feels hot on my skin as I am washing the dishes…’ 

‘The air is cold as I walk to the mailbox…’ 

The more you do this. The more you become aware of your surroundings, what you’re feeling, tasting and touching, the more you’ll notice something remarkable… 

It seeps into everything you do. The more you’ll stop and be in the moment. 

Since I started this practice I’ve become SO much more present in my relationships. With my husband. With my children. 

Because ladies, ask yourself this…

Don’t you deserve to be more present in your life? Don’t you deserve to simply enjoy yourself, stop and smell the roses? Like, if not now, when?!

FACT: No-one ever laid on their deathbed, and felt proud because they’d ticked off everything on their to-do list…

No, you want to be able to say: I was present…

For my conversations with my son.

For walking the dogs. Traveling. Exploring the world. Swimming in the ocean. 

I think you owe yourself that much.

XO

Holly

P.S. Any Mindfulness practice can feel overwhelming when we start. Remember, it’s okay if your mind wanders—so long as you bring it back! I’d love to hear how you get on. Hit reply and let me know…

 

 

 

Don’t F* with us!

Don’t F* with us!

by | Jul 1, 2022 | Blog

Independence Day??

Okay ladies, so this month’s blog is a little different. 

Whether in my work—or convos we’ve had in person—I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about the fallout for us Gen X women…

>> Mothers who didn’t have much. Who pushed us to achieve and accomplish—all the while, painting their nails to the theme tune of Dallas…

>> Those Enjoli ads, who taught us to fry up his bacon and ‘never forget he’s a man…’ 

We were taught to take it to excess. Prove ourselves. You can have it all. Crazy, it was exhausting.

But one thing’s for sure…whether picketing for women’s rights—or picking up our daughters from school—we were damn sure (as Bob Dylan would say) the times, they were a’changing.

Well, how f*cking wrong I was… 

Fast forward 40 years and where are we exactly? 

In the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe vs Wade, a seismic shift has ripped through America. I feel a little like Alice stepping through her Looking Glass… we’ve tumbled through 50 years of history—and woken up, back in shackles.

My mother’s generation fought for us in a man’s world. And sure, I work in the helping profession—an undoubtedly female dominated industry—but I’ve heard crazy ass stories from women of the things men have said and done as they climbed the corporate ladder. 

Because, honestly? Women’s rights had changed, but cast your mind back… On the ground, day-to-day what did that really mean? Think about the level of objectification we’d endured—and overcome. 

And so, the pendulum changed course. #MeToo was huge. A landmark that uncovered sexual assaults in so many organizations across America. Now we were gaining some traction—and they’d never let us get away with that.

Like jackals these ignorant conservative men, these religious supremacists, kept to the shadows. They hide where they can—and pounce in the dark, with one collective thought: We’re gonna take back control. 

And pulled out the big guns…

So, Roe vs Wade? It’s about power. Control. And crushing our human spirit.

BUT…

Here’s what I know to be true…

This is an awakening for women. We won’t just sit down and shut up. We are not going to lay down and take it. 

You’ve unearthed something within us.  

And here’s my message to this disgusting sociopathic, demographic of men: Do not fuck with us. You are not going to change us. We are on fire—and our flame will not be put out.

Because…  we’re more rallied, educated and equipped than ever before. And how do I know this to be true? I work with these women everyday! Powerful women who make a big difference everywhere they go—whether it’s a Fortune 500, or as the matriarch of their families.

We’re still climbing that ladder—we’re showing our place more than ever— and we’re ready to put a stake in the ground, step over that line and say, enough is enough.

As I write this, 7 states in America have blocked abortion, with a further 21 threatening, or likely to impose severe restrictions. 

Sure like you, I may be past childbearing age, but ladies, let’s not kid ourselves that this doesn’t affect us. And nor is this about being white and wealthy enough to drive our daughters across state for an abortion… 

It’s about a medieval reduction of a woman to the contents of her womb. The denial of autonomy over our own self.

So, please… don’t give me the Fourth of July. 

‘Independence’ Day. It’s unnerving. 

Ask yourself, is it a good time to be an American—in this divided country? It’s as if we were in Civil War, each state operating independently of the others. We’re not united at all, we’re an embarrassment.

Not just going backwards, we’re in a freefall. 

Our divisions have carved up this ‘land of the free’. All those underground, fueled by extremism and bigotry, have clawed their way to the top—for now. 

Because we will not be silenced. 

So, how do you plan to spend your weekend? I’d love to know. I can’t be the only one not popping champagne, wincing at the fireworks, chilling in the backyard with a good book. 

In over 50 years I have never felt this way before…

And that’s why I’m writing this call to arms. 

Because, ladies, we’ve seen a lot and we’ve gotten our rights. We’ve found our voices. Every decade we’ve gotten stronger, and we will not be silenced. 

This is an unearthing.

And THAT will never change. 

XO

Holly

P.S. How does Wade vs Roe affect you? Are you enraged? In tears? Choosing not to think about it? Know this: here is a safe space for all your pain and frustrations. Please hit reply—I’ll always respond. 

P.P.S. If you’re compelled to act, or find out more on the supreme court’s decision and the implications it has for ALL of us, here are some resources to get you started: 

Give/Donate: Local Abortion Funds in every state

https://donations4abortion.com

Act: Tell Joe Biden: Open Abortion Clinics on Federal Lands

https://act.ocasiocortez.com/sign/abortion-clinics/

Listen (podcast)

https://crooked.com/podcast-series/strict-scrutiny/