Worry Much?

Worry Much?

by | Dec 3, 2020 | Blog

How To Shake It Off

Worry is an emotion that we’ve evolved to feel in the face of threat or danger. From an evolutionary standpoint, it’s not all our fault, we inherited the genes that predispose us to give special attention to the negative aspects in our lives. Thanks to our ancestors we are all hard wired to experience worry, nervousness, fear, and apprehension. Being highly attuned to worst case scenarios is how, in pre-historic times, humans survived natural threats. In some situations worry isn’t all bad and can actually be beneficial, warning us about something that is valuable and requires our attention. But in many instances, worry is misguided energy, robbing us of greater happiness and success. 

Unless we are under immediate threat, the emotion of worry is useless and counterproductive. It gets in our way to effectively problem solve, limiting our perspective and interfering with our abilities to concentrate and focus on what we can do in the here and now. On top of that statistics prove most of what we worry about never comes to fruition and only saps our motivation and mood. However, being a mother of two, admittedly I can go there with the best of over thinkers and proclaimed worry warts. So for myself as well as for my clients I have done my homework on this relevant topic and have come up with some great strategies and best practices to allay obsessive overthinking in order to redirect negative thoughts into more neutral or optimistic ones. 

How To Shake It Off

#1 Worse Case-Best Case-Most Likely Scenario-If we are going to make a mountain out of a mole hill we might as do it all the way. Here we take the adversity at hand and squeeze out all our worries and Worst Case Scenarios. But then we also make a list of all the Best Case Scenarios that can occur. In both cases, assign a percentage of  likelihood that each scenario listed could occur. Lastly, given the insight we gain we make a final list of Most Likely Case Scenarios along with their percentage of likelihood occurring. This happy medium shifts us to a place of problem solving to then create an action plan based on everything we know to be true right now, restoring rational thinking opposed to catastrophizing.

#2 Distract, distract, distract-The mind cannot hold onto two thoughts at the same time. As simple as it sounds find an activity that is engrossing enough to lessen the pull towards worrisome thoughts. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it absorbs your attention and is satisfying in some shape or form. Whether it’s crossing something off your to do list or enjoying the company of a dear friend.  And for those of you who question this strategy only being a short term solution, understand that any positive emotions you experience during those distracting activities can lift your mood and then open you up to new more objective and positive perspectives. 

#3 Take in the bigger picture-Sometimes we can have the tendency to magnify our concerns. What seems to be so troublesome at the time can be quickly put into perspective when we ask ourselves if what’s preoccupying our mind will matter a year from now or a more extreme version…on your deathbed? If of course you resolve that the challenge you are enduring will indeed matter in a year from now, then it’s time to focus on flexing your resiliency muscles, focusing on lessons we can learn and a growth mindset…psychologist call this post-traumatic growth, vital tools we learn when facing life’s inevitable hardships.

#4 Act to solve problems-Even if you’re feeling overwhelmed about your concerns and unsure what to do, take a small step. For example, research possible new jobs, see a financial adviser, consult a marriage counselor or divorce attorney. Even just writing a list of possible ways to improve a relationship with someone near and dear to you, maybe brainstorming ways to get more recognition at work or address unresolved health concerns. Each small step you take creates a ripple effect, providing wisdom and empowerment.

#5 Designated worry time-As strange as this sounds, set aside 30 minutes in your day to do nothing but worry. Knowing you can create a “container” for your burdensome thoughts can be a great tool to honor the pull towards them yet loosen the grip of obsessive thinking throughout the whole day. Ideally, that 30 minute period should be at a time of the day you are not anxious or sad.

#6 Journaling-Writing out your worries is a way of unburdening yourself of negative thoughts-spilling them out on the page, so to speak-helping you to organize and make sense of your thoughts and observe any patterns that you haven’t perceived before.

#7 Talk to trusted people you respect/admire about your thoughts and worries-A lot of the time getting our worries off our chest can bring immediate reprieve from it’s intensity. Just make sure those you go to for support are objective, have your best interest at heart, come from a place of love, and are not inclined to jump on the negativity band wagon with you.

#8 Breath to release worry-If this is up your alley, learn how to meditate. The skills involved in this relaxation technique can help distance ourselves from consuming thoughts and impart a positive sense of wellbeing. Many people who meditate claim that they find themselves feeling less burdened, worried, and stressed. 

With all this being said, understand worrying is a normal response the brain has developed to keep us safe. While we can’t prevent ourselves from worrying (it’s how we humans are rigged), we can learn how to manage it more effectively so it doesn’t eat away at our greater wellbeing nor take away from our performance on any given day.

Wishing You The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anxious?

Anxious?

by | Sep 1, 2019 | Blog

The Elephant In The Room

Believe it or not there’s nothing wrong with you. Anxiety affects tens of millions of people world wide, though we don’t talk about it, many of us grapple daily with intrusive thoughts and worries — sometimes to a disabling degree. Quite frankly, it’s a very normal response to unprecedented times where the bombardment of email, social media, and onslaught of constant world news is now the norm. We never get an opportunity to shut down or recover, unless we consciously take steps to do so. There is only so much the human mind and body can process and wrap ourselves around. In this month’s blog post, I’m inviting you to consider the role anxiety may be playing in your own life, and options you have for making it better. 

After close to 20 years in the helping profession, as therapist and now women’s leadership coach, the one thing I have come to learn for sure is that there is no one silver bullet or magic pill out there that serves as a cure-all. Just as there is no one thing that causes us anxiety, we need to consider a number of practical shifts we can make daily that will help to build our own collection of anti-anxiety strategies. From simple self-calming techniques to fundamental lifestyle and perspective shifts, I will offer suggestions on a wide-range of anti-anxiety tactics that are now out there and proven to be making a huge difference in the quality of people’s lives.

Combatting Anxiety One Step At Time

*Please note-anti-anxiety tactics are not numbered in any intentional order to follow 

#1: Nutrition– The relationship between food, mood, and anxiety is garnering more and more attention. There is a growing body of evidence and research explaining how anxiety can be triggered by inadequate nutrition. Here, I share a great article found in Experience Life Magazine titled ANTI-ANXIETY EATING . It gives you the skinny and the scoop along with four key nutritional strategies that support a calmer state of mind. It’s a great place to start understanding how our eating habits can be vital in keeping anxiety at bay. 

#2: Sleep– Sleep plays an essential role in regulating our emotions, behavior, and physiology. Experts agree that 7-9 hours of sleep are necessary for optimal health and wellbeing. However, as many as 40% of adults are sleep deprived, or regularly getting less than 6 hours a sleep a night. As someone who has struggled with quality sleep issues herself, this has become a number one priority for me to master as I know the toll it has taken on my mind and body.  After much personal research, I have come up with an arsenal of sleep strategies ranging from deep breathing exercises, pre-bed-time rituals, understanding the effects of caffeine and alcohol on my system, along with tips for dealing with sleep interruptions and falling back to sleep. Here, I share a great podcast found on The Living Experiment “SLEEP” episode. Well worth carving out some time to listen to, it covers all you need to know.

#3: Exercise– Nothing surprising here, physical activity as we all know is a key factor when it comes to fighting off anxiety. From the obvious of  creating a venue to release pent up emotions as well as distracting us from daily stressors-as it’s really hard to exert ourselves physically and ruminate on negative thoughts. But there is also a real science (“EFFECTS OF EXERCISE AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY ON ANXIETY” by Elizabeth Anderson and Geetha Shivakumar) behind how exercise reduces stress hormones and stimulates productions of endorphins which together help foster a calmer state of mind. 

#4: Social Connections– Meaningful relationships and physical interaction with others is a critical factor in helping to mitigate anxiety. People need people, whether you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert, having the support of others tells our brain that we are safe, loved, and accepted. It’s not about the quantity of relationships but rather quality and most importantly physical proximity. Do not mistake likes on your social media page to go the distance. Or texts to qualify for meaningful conversations. Carve out time on your calendar to be with those who lift you up, make you laugh and support the best version of yourself. 

#5: Digital Diet– Unplugging from the digital world is a great way to reduce the stress that being “on” all the time brings into our lives. Start powering down, limit the number of emails or texts that you send. Pick up the phone and have an actual conversation with someone or better yet go with face to face contact. Turn off your alerts from time to time, put your phone on silence mode, and only check into all correspondence or social media during specifically set times of your day for only a set amount of time each day. Create boundaries…technology isn’t going to slow down, it’s only going to become more consuming.

#6: Spend time Outdoors– Research indicates that getting out into nature reduces anxiety by increasing the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the nervous system responsible for digestion and rest; part of its activity involves slowing the heart rate. When the parasympathetic nervous system is active, physical side effects of anxietydecrease and subjective feelings of peace and relaxation increase. It doesn’t have to be a big grand gesture like a hike in the mountains, simply just stepping outside, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the sun or wind on your face, and focusing your attention on the sights sounds, and smells around you can be enough to make a difference. But of course, the more you make a point to get outside the greater the benefits you will reap.

#7: Medication– As a former therapist I understand that everyone has different levels, types, and ways their body experiences anxiety. In some instances, when anxiety becomes so debilitating that putting into practice any of the above tactics becomes far reaching, medication may be a consideration. This is when it is time to consult with your doctor or a mental health practitioner. But with the understanding that anxiety is not like an infection that can be cured with medication. As it only helps to dull anxiety, acting as a bridge to access life long coping skills that when practiced daily can truly eradicate anxiety.

The reality is, life is challenging. There is no sugar coating that but I know despite how hectic, stressful, and complicated life can get, every woman with the right “tools” and self-knowledge can live a life with greater ease and success!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-