Can you? Or can’t you?

Can you? Or can’t you?

Achieving Those Goals

Hey there!

It’s time to raise a belated glass to that elephant in the room… Goal Setting. 

Ewww, I know. Love it or hate it — setting goals is an undeniable step to success. 

Maybe you’re part of the shiny ‘New Year, New Me’ crowd. You’re still hard at the gym. You’re keeping up those dinner dates with girlfriends…

Perhaps, despite the symbolism of fresh starts and new beginnings, you prefer to eaaase yourself into a new year — mug in hand, lounging in the gorgeous cashmere sweater you finally treated yourself to in January’s sales. Bliss…

Or maybe you’re one of the 80% of resolution makers petering out as we now move into the first week of February…

Finding you’re beating yourself up already. (Pah! You know I don’t believe in guilt-trippin’ or shaming. We’re human. I’ve got your back.)

Last month, I talked through the numero uno secret you need to master in order to go the distance this year. The one thing that’s a game-changer for giving back clarity and making sure we’re firing on optimal levels. Missed it? You can read that post here.

This month, I’m going one step further. You’ll be leaning into your own energy. Being gentle with yourself. Learning how to trust — and make your internal dialogue work for you when it comes to goal setting.

So the question is — what are your goals for this year? 

And more importantly — do you think you can achieve them?

Because, truth is, there’s scientifically-validated wisdom in Henry Ford’s quip: whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.’

Or in other words, on a scale of 1–10, what confidence do you have that you’ve got what it takes to make your goals happen this time…

And, well stick?!

The study of Self-Efficacy (or the Science of Self-Confidence) is SUPER important in this.

It quite simply translates as: the belief that you can achieve what you set out to achieve.

And Albert Bandura — one of the most respected psychologists in the world — is one of its biggest proponents.

Bandura tells us there are 4 primary ways we can build on our own self-efficacy — and finally make our goals stick:

  1. Accomplishments. Specifically, your past successes. When did you last accomplish something that felt difficult — or even impossible? Reminding yourself of big and small wins from the past are HUGE ways to boost your current confidence. 

Create those wins, celebrate them. Build your self-image as someone who succeeds… And bring those past mastery experiences to mind when you’re facing current challenges.

  1. Social Modeling. Seeing someone else achieve the success YOU would like to achieve. Truth is, if they can do it, you can do it! Know that.

(Note: Don’t be envious of their success. Celebrate it!)

  1. Verbal Persuasion/Support. When someone tells you that you can achieve success, listen to them. This could be a coach, or supportive co-worker or friend. 

Better yet, persuade yourself through positive self-talk! Kindly challenge yourself as you would someone near or dear to you. 

  1. Act as if. This is a game-changer (and one I practice time after time). If you want to succeed, act like a successful person! Walk, talk, breathe, and carry yourself as if you’ve already achieved that which you aspire to be. 

You can read more about this in my past post here.

Lean into your energy. Listen to your past successes. Visualize your value: allow yourself to celebrate your wins when setting goals — and get ready to triumph.

Now ladies — strike that power pose and go get ‘em!

XO

Holly

P.S. Before I leave you today, I’d LOVE for you to take a pen and paper and jot down the answers to these 4 questions:

  1. What’s a past success you can celebrate and build on — for future triumph?
  2. Who do you admire — who’s achieved something you’d love to have for yourself? Celebrate them! If they can do it, you can do it.
  3. Who’s your biggest cheerleader? And what supportive words do they share?
  4. When you’re at your best, how do you walk, talk, breathe and hold yourself? 

P.P.S  So, what are your goals for this year? Shoot me an email here. I’d love to know— and cheer you on as you rock them!   

And know that whenever you’re in doubt, that’s what I’m here for…

Where And Who You Are Now

Where And Who You Are Now

The Power In Acceptance

For many, December is a month of reflection.  As we end the year and begin to contemplate new year resolutions,  it’s a perfect time to surrender to the discipline of acceptance. Without acceptance we are only fighting or denying what is, making it almost impossible to behave proactively and move forward to create the change we seek in the coming year. 

It’s important not to confuse acceptance with resignation. Resignation is an act of giving up of our control, quitting, or succumbing to less than desirable outcomes. Whereas acceptance is more about gaining control and increasing the likelihood for more optimal results through embracing what actually is, in order to better assist ourselves with the understanding of what really needs to be addressed.

So before we can create the change we desire for the coming year we must first accept where we are now. Grab some paper and pen and start considering how you spent this past year, what did you accomplish that you are proud of and where may have you fallen short. Let’s explore the highs and lows, celebrations and shortcomings to find the lessons to be learned from all our experiences, positive and negative and move forward with a renewed conviction in this new coming year.

Ask Yourself:

  • What were the most significant events (good or ugly) of the year past? (List the top 3)
  • What did you accomplish? (List wins and achievements)
  • What were your disappointments? ( Regarding yourself )
  • What were your biggest challenges/roadblocks/difficulties?
  • What did you learn? (skills, knowledge, awareness, etc)
  • What would you do differently? Why?
  • What do you feel especially good about? What was your greatest contribution?
  • What were the fun things you did? What were the not-so-fun?
  • How are you different this year than last?

Let these reflections inform your plans for the new year. Say good-bye to 2019. Give thanks for the learning and usefulness this year has brought and welcome in 2020 with your eyes wide open and ready to move forward!

Happy Holidays Everyone!

-Holly-

 

 

 

Could You Spare 15 Minutes To Improve Your Life?

Could You Spare 15 Minutes To Improve Your Life?

The Value Of Keeping A Journal

Daily journaling — either on paper or a computer screen — has the power to make a real difference in ones life. Writing down your thoughts can be a powerful tool for solving problems, relieving stress and locking in greater success and happiness. Though I know the idea of adding one more thing to your daily routine feels daunting, this is one task everyone owes to themselves to seriously commit to. The benefits are endless, just read on to see why.

Journaling….

  • Accelerates Abilities To Manifest Our Goals-consider building a house without a blueprint. Once words and images hit paper, thoughts or ideas will crystallize. We not only use pen to paper to strategize action steps required to create what we want but it also signals to our brains that this is important becoming forged into our subconscious mind. Your reticular activating system (RAS) then flags relevant opportunities and tools to achieve those goals (NLP Institute of California 2017 study).
  • Enhances Our Emotional Intelligence-emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive and manage our emotions, and that of others.Your journal has the potential to be both a “therapist” and a dear friend who listens without judging or interrupting and is open 24 hours a day. By serving as an outlet to process emotions, writing our thoughts and feelings down allows for a release and greater self-awareness. In turn we become more understanding of the range of emotions humans experience, encouraging us to be more empathetic with others.
  • Sparks Creativity and Inspiration-your journal is a place to write down anything  that comes to mind. The crazier the idea, the better. Let your imagination wander to the farthest parts of your mind. The more you practice experimenting with  possibilities and opportunities, the more inspiration you will find.
  • Solve problems more effectively-typically we problem solve from a left-brained, analytical perspective. But sometimes the answer can only be found by engaging right-brained creativity and intuition. Writing unlocks these other capabilities, and  affords the opportunity for unexpected solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems.
  • Boosts Memory and Comprehension-the composition of thoughts and ideas causes the mind to compose or re-compose these ideas while journaling. In other words, when your hand engages in writing, your brain engages in cognitive recall.  Your learning ability is strengthened and your memory improved.
  • Promotes healing-expressive writing has been linked to improved immune function, lower anxiety and stress levels, and better sleep. Dr. James Pennebaker, author of Writing to Heal explains “when we translate an experience into language we essentially make the experience graspable.” And in doing so, we free ourselves from the web of confusion that so often keeps us emotionally and psychologically bound to any trauma, drama, disappointment, regret, or long-held belief.
  • Supports Self Confidence-journaling about positive experiences allows your brain to relive it. And reaffirms your abilities when the ugly head of self-doubt appears. Keeping a journal becomes a story upon which you can reflect; it is not only a place to dump our inner thoughts and feelings but a catalog of personal achievements,  positive experiences, triumphs over negative experiences, and a testament to how far you’ve come.
  • Stimulates Self Discipline, Productivity, & Accountability-committing to daily journal writing is an act of discipline. Like with everything else, consistency and repetition breeds success. And good habits formed in one area of our lives have a tendency to have a ripple effect on others. Additionally, as we script our journey, we can find accountability and likely heighten our levels of productivity. Knowing that at the end of the day (or beginning) you will be sitting down to reflect on thoughts, desires, and challenges will assuredly serve as a daily reminder and motivator to get busy living life with greater purpose.  

And the benefits of journal writing don’t stop there. For me, I also found that writing in a journal daily has vastly improved my relationships both within my personal and professional life. By writing  down my thoughts and experiences as well as progress towards desired outcomes I simply just have become that much more present and engaged in my life. Discover for yourself the benefits of journal writing, it doesn’t have to be a big orchestrated event, start today jotting down what went well and what didn’t. From there feelings and emotions will be expressed and goals revealed. Love to hear your discoveries!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-

 

 

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

All Goals Are Not Created Equal

The Art of Powerful Goal Setting

Why does it go wrong so often? Why do people set goals that they fail to bring to fruition? Or, even more interesting: Why do people continue to express a feeling of lack even after they complete or achieve goals? Well, truth be told not all goals are created equal. There is actually a skillfulness behind setting goals that go the distance. Mindlessly setting and even effectively achieving goals in and of itself will not be enough to derive the outcomes we hope to achieve when we originally set them. Rather, it is in the skillfulness of creating goals that not only have extrinsic value (i.e. fame, fortune, power, and love) but most importantly intrinsic; identifying goals that are consistent with who we are, what lights us up, and coming from a place of choice.

Bottomline, when we exert effort pursuing goals that are close to our heart, we lock in with more conviction to see them through. Thus, a greater likelihood to attain a goal as well as enjoy the journey of its pursuit and complete satisfaction of it’s attainment while securing  sustainment and quiet possibly further accomplishment. Why because these goals coordinate with our true selves, self-concordant goals infuse our life with purpose and simply said make us happier.

There are 3 basic conditions to powerful goal setting, I refer to them as the 3 A’s…

  1. Affection – goals that you are passionate about, doing things you like to do, that serve a bigger purpose. For example, getting fit and healthy not just to lose weight and inches  but to provide more energy so you can keep up with your kids or manage health risks. 
  2. Authenticity – engaging in goals that are aligned with how you see yourself, your personality, and what’s most important to you. Not Susie down the block or your mom’s take on things or for that matter the latest social media feed.
  3. Autonomy – pursuing goals out of our own personal conviction, coming from a place of choice and freedom.

But of course applying the 3 A’s isn’t that simply, thus where in resides the crux of the problem and why so many of us find ourselves on the proverbial hamster wheel of life. Setting out with the best of intentions to develop self-concordant goals won’t be enough, we need to first get clear on our true authentic self, learn or rediscover what we are passion about, and identify the aspects of our lives that currently hold the most meaning to us. A great place to start is with my complimentary workbook, Discover Your Internal Compass. I created it for this very reason, bringing together many tools and explorations I’ve used over the years to help women secure and lean into powerful goal setting…download it today for free on my website.

Wishing You Always The Very Best Of Success 

-Holly-

 

Making Big Strides With Small Steps

Making Big Strides With Small Steps

Change is a Process…Not an Event

The advent of the new year has come and gone and understandably for many, the allure of creating positive change within our lives begins to wane. Suddenly, the drive to seek more success and fulfillment in our careers, relationships, health, and well-being begins to diminish. Of course, we still want more for ourselves, personally and professionally, it’s just that the effort is hard to sustain, life gets in the way, and results don’t typically occur quick enough, all of which detracts from the once renewed sense of energy we had back in January.  But hears the good news, that is ok because change is a process and not an event. Having the things we want in and for our lives will not happen overnight, research proves it is within the small, subtle (not sizable or drastic) tweaks we make gradually that will add up to the big changes we seek. So don’t give up on those new year resolutions yet, slow and steady actually does win the race. Read on and learn how to make big strides with 4 small steps.

Four Small Steps That Have a Big Impact

 1.   Build On Existing Habits- Add a new beneficial behavior to an existing habit. For example, change your daily walk with your dog to a jog. Use the time carpooling your kids as an opportunity to connect. Add a fruit or vegetable with every meal and snack. Combine your daily mid-afternoon coffee break with calls or brief meet-ups with your team. The point being is to ease the creation of a desired new behavior by coupling it with an existing relatable habit.

2. Create Most Optimal Surroundings– Create a greater likelihood of success with supportive surroundings. So for example, if you want to eat healthier, stock your shelves with nutritious foods, not cookies or chips. Set out your gym clothes the night before so you’re ready to go for your workout tomorrow, put your cell phone in the draw while having dinner with your family or finishing up an important work-related project. In other words, set up your environment to promote what you want. 

3. Anticipate Obstacles– Whether it’s a sudden circumstance that interferes with our well-intended plans to align with our goals (i.e illness, technology challenges, weather conditions, etc.) or the reality that we are only human and naturally our conviction will be tested. Anticipate obstacles and prepare for them with if-then strategies. So for example, if the going gets tough with work aspirations then connect with a mentor or other colleagues that can be of support or inspiration and create accountability. If you know you have a series of commitments that will challenge healthy eating or regular workouts then eat a nutritious, filling snack before heading out or travel with a jump rope should you be out of town or stuck indoors due to inclement weather. Know life can get in the way and plan accordingly.

4. Act. Learn. Build. Repeat.- The key to success is seeing change as a curious experiment and then taking a bunch of small actions steps to point yourself in the direction you want to go. Follow this formula and results are inevitable. 

Do not underestimate the power of taking small steps, not only does its cumulative effects provide tangible markers of success but the cost of failure is comparatively low.  So there’s less on the line to lose allowing us to feel more confident and at ease with implementing change into our lives. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Wishing You Always The Best Of Success

-Holly-