The Third Entity
February 2018 Insights
In honor of Valentines Day, I’d like to take February’s newsletter to reflect upon enhancing our relationships. Agreeably, Valentines Day has now become a holiday that tends to be more of an excuse to generate maximum profit of flowers/candy/jewelry while often spotlighting for many of us what’s not working so well in some of our relationships. However, with all that being said, none of us live in a bubble, relationships are all around us. Think about your life at home and at work. In virtually every moment of our lives, we are in relationship with significant others, co-workers, friends, family and moreover ourselves. Our lives are a web of connecting relationships. Nurturing and growing positive relationships while effectively managing draining, negative relationships are undeniably a vital aspect that needs to be addressed to ensure greater well-being and success in all areas of our lives.
As you have read in past newsletters, I have shared many ideas and strategies to support optimal relationship experiences. Most recently I was introduced to yet another great coaching tool that primarily comes from a book called Creating Intelligent Teams by Anne Rod and Marita Fridjhon. It is through this book that the concept of the “Third Entity” was brought to my attention. In it, it explains, regardless of what type of relationship you are in, to lead it more successfully there is not only an “I” and “they” agenda that needs to be addressed but most importantly the team entity’s needs. Every relationship has its own unique entity and by shifting the attention away from each individual’s needs to the “team’s” needs will promote better outcomes. This does not mean that each person’s perspective in the relationship is not considered but more heard and then woven into ways that access the relationship’s highest potential.
The concept behind coaching the “third entity” rates rather high in my work with empowering clients. Regardless, where my clients are at and how they feel about the relationships they are in-positive, negative, or indifferent- understanding that the quality of the relationship can be enhanced by stepping back and examining what does this relationship, whatever relationship it is (i.e romantic, friend, co-worker, family, etc) need to do to create best experiences and optimal outcomes. When considering any relationship ask yourself:
-Who are we today?
-What qualities describe us now?
-How do we do things now?
-What is working and what isn’t working at the present?
-What is important to us now?
-Who do we want to become?
-How do we need to be better?
-What will be important to us in the future?
The value in these questions is to first consider them based on how you would answer them and then how the other person(s) would if you were in their shoes without bringing in your ego. You’ll be surprised to see the insights this exercise will bring, accessing ways to further enhance an already thriving relationship as well as one that is not. Either way, it provides another way to maximize positive impact on our relationships which then, in turn, will inevitably lead to greater success and fulfillment in our lives. Something I’m sure, we all could benefit from!
Wishing You Always The Best Of Success
-Holly-